


I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm

by grimeysociety



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Christmas Party, Darcy Lewis Is a Good Bro, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, POV Darcy Lewis, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:06:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 62,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21554341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimeysociety/pseuds/grimeysociety
Summary: Steve and Darcy agree to pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend for the holidays. Darcy thinks faking a relationship should get her through the cycle of hook-ups and regret with her ex, while Steve wants the press to stop asking him inane questions when he just wants to do his job. Can they pull off a highly-publicized coupling convincingly? Can either of them stop themselves from wishing it was all real?
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers
Comments: 1157
Kudos: 1020





	1. i. Chi Bao

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Welcome to the second fake dating tropefest I've written in the space of a couple weeks... I hope you like this one. It's got Christmas, too! The title of this fic comes from the song of the same name by Irving Berlin, written in 1937. 
> 
> Thank you as always to sarahbeniel who listened to me rant about my frustrations.
> 
> The rating will only be applicable to much later chapters, since this is a slow burn. This will be a real exercise of restraint for me... wish me luck!
> 
> I wrote this for myself, mostly (as like a Christmas present to myself, I guess). Any mistakes are my own. ❤
> 
> art by [@maxyartwork](https://maxyartwork.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)

_I get a little lonely_   
_Get a little more close to me_   
_You're the only one who knows me, babe_

\- **"So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings" by Caroline Polacheck**

**i. Chi Bao**

It was nine o’clock at night or there about, but Darcy hadn’t had dinner yet. The icy air outside was forgotten as she sat opposite Steve in a booth in a new haunt of hers named Chi Bao.

She was disturbed by the new fact she’d learned about him – that he hadn’t tried dumplings in this century. Not thirty minutes ago, she’d texted him about her plans to eat until she couldn’t walk. She wanted to _become_ a bao, if it was possible.

Steve had shoved on a baseball cap that he refused to take off, keeping himself tucked in the corner of his side of the booth, watching the wait staff running around. It was packed with people, and Darcy kept watching Steve watch the crowd.

“We need to get you a better disguise,” she said, pointing. “But I don’t think anyone’s spotted you.”

“Don’t jinx it,” he muttered, and he a waiter come up to them carrying an iPad.

“You ready to order?”

“Yeah,” Darcy said, snatching the menu away from Steve before he could say a word. “We’re gonna get two dozen of the pork bao, and some tofu salt and pepper bites for a starter.”

“Drinks?” the girl asked, and Darcy grinned.

“Beer, thank you.”

They were left alone and Darcy picked up her chopsticks, glancing at Steve.

“I have been practicing,” he said, before she could ask.

The waiter returned with their beers and Darcy hid her smirk as she sipped from her bottle. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and she took it out, sighing at the display.

“Ian?”

“Did you even have to ask?” Darcy retorted.

She unlocked her phone and read the message. Predictably, the opening line wasn’t about him thinking of her fondly, or even asking about how she was. She held up her phone for Steve to see, pretending he hadn’t probably got a good look of it upside-down already.

“ _You busy_?” Steve read, shaking his head. “Not even bothering with proper grammar, I see.”

“Yeah,” Darcy muttered. She fired back a reply of _yes_ , putting her phone on the table. “At least we’re outside of the stupid o’clock window –”

“What’s that?” Steve asked, a hint of a smile on his face.

“It’s around 11PM to 3AM,” Darcy replied, holding her hands up several inches apart, and she shrugged. “That’s when things get really dire. Booty call hours.”

He smirked, sipping his beer as she launched into another explanation he probably didn’t need.

“Sex without consequences, or so it seems. He comes by, or, more likely, I traipse over –”

“Traipse?” Steve repeated, more to himself, smiling. “Traipse…”

“-to his apartment and we hook up. I stay over because it’s so late, but then in the cold light of day we remember why we broke up in the first place and thus the cycle of ignore and stupid o’clock texts starts all over again…”

Darcy sighed, seeing her phone buzz again. She glanced at the text, distracted.

“Don’t answer him,” Steve said, making a face. “Ignore him.”

“See, that’s what I usually do –”

“Except?”

“I had a severe lapse in judgment last weekend,” she admitted, glancing away. “It was just after Thanksgiving. Tensions were running high.”

“Why didn’t you just call me?” Steve asked, and Darcy frowned.

“I did! You said you were busy.”

Steve mimicked her frown, looking away to think back on the last couple of weeks and then he passed a hand over his face.

“Yeah, I… uh, maybe you should make it more obvious when you’re trying to avoid your ex. We should use a code word,” he muttered. He sipped his beer.

There lapse in conversation made Darcy immediately suspicious.

“You had a date,” she accused, picking up her chopstick to point at him. “And you didn’t tell me because it was so bad…”

Steve shook his head but his lips pulled into a pained smile.

“It was so bad that I couldn’t even save you? Why?” she said. “Wait, is this anything to do with the _Buzzfeed_ article I saw?”

Her phone buzzed again and Steve looked at it, frowning.

“Should I know what _Buzzfeed_ is?” he asked, openly reading the display upside down now. “Is he for real?”

“Yes,” Darcy muttered, picking up her phone and unlocking it. Ian was pestering her with little wet emojis now, which only made her face grow hot with shame.

She used to date this guy. She liked him once, a lot. It was embarrassing now. She couldn’t believe how incompatible they were as a couple. The sex was fun but never worth it.

She glanced at Steve. “Can I tell him we’re on a date?”

He made a face at that, sipping his beer. “Sure, but why?”

“So he leaves me the fuck alone?” Darcy retorted, typing in a rushed explanation and sending it off.

Ian almost immediately replied:

_Pull the other one._

“He doesn’t believe me?” Darcy snapped.

Their waiter almost collided with her arm as she slammed down her phone, placing the tofu bites in the middle of the table.

“I am so sorry,” Darcy babbled, retracting her hand, picking up her phone again. She glared at the message. “Steve.”

He only had a second to react as she took his picture, sending it off to Ian.

“I don’t appreciate that,” he muttered. “You were saying about _Buzzfeed_?”

“There was something about a Victoria’s Secret model being your latest conquest,” she mumbled, grabbing a piece of tofu with her chopsticks and dunking it in the saucer of soy sauce.

Steve shook his head, giving a humourless chuckle.

“Don’t they ever get tired of these ridiculous stories?”

Darcy chewed and swallowed. “Can’t you do something?”

Steve shook his head. “Like what? I’m not going to acknowledge it.”

It was a circus. People tried to stake out various Brooklyn tenanements, hoping to find out exactly where Captain America resided. Each week there was a new girlfriend, and every couple of months, there was a secret engagement.

Ian’s reply was swift:

_How long’s that been going on?_

Darcy ignored him, putting her phone in her pocket as they ate. By the time they finished the starter, the bao had arrived. Darcy showed him how to make his own bao, and Steve ate the majority of the food without breaking a sweat. That was typical.

“It’s a bit like a bread roll,” he murmured, and he sounded happy. “It’s really good.”

“Hey, you know what we should do,” Darcy said, her mind elsewhere.

“Get more?” Steve asked, and he even glanced around to find a waiter, looking hopeful.

“We should tell people we’re dating,” Darcy said.

She watched as Steve processed the idea, turning his head toward her, lowering himself further into his seat.

“It makes so much sense. You’re sick of people harassing you about the special gal in your life –”

“Yeah, some guy asked if I was seeing Wanda, and I was talking about people donating to the city for Christmas,” Steve cut in, sounding appalled.

“- and I have a pesky ex. I need to break the cycle,” Darcy finished. “It’s perfect, right? And with all the events you’ve got for the holidays, I can come with you and make people stop trying to find your place.”

“And Wanda being my girlfriend is not what is so disgusting about that – wait, wait…”

Steve seemed to register her words, closing his eyes for a second and holding up his hand.

“You want… to pretend to date me?”

Darcy blinked at him a couple times. Hearing him say it like that made it sound completely contrived and insane.

“I mean, not exact- well, yeah,” Darcy mumbled with a sigh. “I’m asking you to fake date me for the holidays.”

Darcy was not the type of person to take offense to any bad reaction Steve might have to her suggestion. He was one of her closest friends, and she considered him someone she couldn’t live without.

“Okay,” he said, and he dropped his hand to the table. “I’m flattered –”

“What? Gross, no,” Darcy snapped. “You should be so lucky, I could grab any guy on the street and make him my pretend boyfriend. Choosing you is a big deal, buddy.”

“Hold on, sweetheart,” Steve cut in, unable to hide his smile. “I was going to politely decline because I am not good at the whole pretend thing. Ask Nat. Ask anyone who’s ever gone undercover with me. I blow our cover nearly every time.”

Darcy paused, blinking. “Oh. I thought you were saying no because of some…weird-ass noble thing.”

“I’m sayin’,” he muttered, picking up his beer to sip it, his Brooklyn twang coming through. “I’m not the type of person to ask.”

She tried not to openly pout. She figured it would be kind of fun, in a social experiment type of way, to be publicly attached to an Avenger. It would make some of her exes super jealous. It could make her Facebook and Instagram blow up for a few weeks until she and Steve discreetly broke things off sometime in the New Year.

“It’s not you,” he murmured, grinning now. “It’s me.”

“Wow,” Darcy replied, and he laughed.

Steve ended up eating another dozen bao, settling the check before they left close to 11. He made a show of checking the time on his phone, lifting his brows.

“Almost stupid o’clock,” he said, nudging Darcy with an elbow.

They were walking down the street, their breaths in front of their faces as they spoke. Darcy wrapped her coat around her tighter, sighing.

“You sure you can stand being unsupervised?” he added, and she shook her head.

“I should try, right? To put my foot down with him,” she said, and Steve shrugged.

She never knew whether he appreciated hearing about her dating life. He didn’t clamp his hands over his ears and scream _la, la, la..._ She had to remind herself that although he was raised to be super polite, he could be a jackass.

“Why doesn’t it work out, when you two see each other again?” he asked.

Darcy looked away, hating the answer.

“I don’t think he ever liked me enough,” she muttered. “Didn’t… appreciate me. Didn’t want to try.”

“Then forget him,” Steve said, and she laughed. “Really. You deserve better. And you also deserve better than a fake relationship to get you through Christmas.”

They looked at one another for a full minute, and then Darcy shivered, the moment ending. Steve touched her shoulder.

“I’ll get you a cab.”

When Darcy got back to her place, her phone buzzed. She left Ian’s message alone, seeing Steve had sent her one. He was probably at his secret Brooklyn hideout by now.

_Pick a movie and we’ll watch it together after I come back the day after tomorrow. Any movie._

She smiled, typing back:

_You have no idea what you’ve just unleashed, buddy_

-

Steve was on a mission with the rest of the Avengers. Darcy wasn’t always privy to that type of information, so while she heard all types of rumors about their location over the next couple of days, she didn’t want to speculate too much.

She was swamped with work. Being the beginning of the last month of the year, a lot of people were going away for the holidays. Some projects needed to be shelved for next year, others were being tossed out.

Jane handed Darcy a piece of paper with a title on it that made her pause.

“Uh, what’s this?”

“They’re advertising for the new liaison role for next year, I thought you could put in an application,” she said, nudging the paper against Darcy’s arm.

“Don’t give me a paper cut –”

Jane poked her again. “Darcy, apply for the job.”

Darcy couldn’t help herself – she made a face, which caused Jane to frown. It happened often enough. Darcy was not professional, and she knew she never would be.

“Read it, apply for it,” Jane said. She dropped her paper onto Darcy’s desk. “Do it.”

Darcy tried to not roll her eyes as her boss walked back to the whiteboard she’d been writing on. She gave the job description another glance. It sounded vague and made-up, but essentially she’d be doing part-time recruitment.

“Would I get a pay rise?” Darcy called, and Jane shrugged without turning around.

“Ask someone in HR.”

Darcy sat down, crossing her arms. She opened a tab on her laptop and shoved her headphones in. She went onto YouTube with the intention of forgetting the last few minutes by watching some cute animal memes, but instead she saw a thumbnail for a trending video that caught her eye.

_Captain America is TAKEN! Exclusive post-battle interview!_

She wondered why he didn’t want her to take this away from him – the speculation, the annoying, intrusive questions that drove him up the wall. Darcy sighed and she clicked on the video, wondering just how gross it could possibly be.

There was a group of journalists all surrounding Steve, his face marked with dirt and a bruise under his left eye. He looked cute and rumpled, and tired down to the marrow of him. She was sure he’d be passing out. She glanced at the video stats and saw it was only uploaded minutes ago.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she got it out, seeing it was Steve Face-Timing her. She broke into a smile, pressing the green button, his face flooding her screen.

“Hey,” she said, “You’re currently sitting on my stack of expense reports, you’re welcome –”

“Darce, I fucked up,” he said, his mouth a grim line.

“Why? What happened? I’m about to watch an interview you did –”

She saw him rub his eyes and he sighed.

“I told them we’re dating.”

“What?!” Darcy squawked, and she saw Jane spin around in the corner of her eye. She put up a hand in case her boss decided to intervene. “Say again?”

“Watch the rest of the shitshow,” Steve said, and she nodded, putting him down, pressing play on the video she’d paused.

_“Captain, should we expect Avery Alanova on your arm at the Stark Foundation gala this weekend?”_

_“No.”_

Steve blurted the answer. Darcy could tell he didn’t mean to even answer the question by the way his eyes widened at his own outburst.

_“I have… I have someone else I’m going with.”_

The group of people gathered began to hurl questions, different peoples’ names, some of them Darcy knew, and others that she was sure were randomly selected by tabloids for future headlines. Steve rose a hand, waving it as he shook his head.

_“Give us a name, Cap! Who is she?”_

_“Her name – her name’s Darcy,”_ he said. _“Darcy Lewis.”_


	2. ii. Shitshow

_Talkin' ideas on lust and pity_  
 _The fables I've found have no place at home  
_ _Well, I need you to want me  
_ _To hold me, to tell me the truth_

**\- "Sad Sad City" by Ghostland Observatory**

**ii. Shitshow**

Darcy raced out of the labs, sure that people were already reading the headlines off their phones by the way they were watching her leave.

An intern openly stared as she skidded across the floor outside, slamming her hand onto the button for the elevator.

“Good for you, Darcy,” the kid said, and Darcy stared after them as they gave her a thumbs-up. “We sort of hoped that would happen. Kevin owes me ten bucks.”

“Great,” Darcy said, doing her best impression of someone pleasantly surprised, and she gave an exaggerated giggle.

The girl walked back into the labs and she kept laughing, edging toward hysterical by the time she was alone in the elevator.

Who was that? And who was Kevin? What the fuck was going on?

She was still on the phone to Steve while this happened and she lifted her device to see Steve’s face again and she tried to not snarl at him through the screen.

“You could have, I dunno, given me a heads-up?” she hissed, and the car finally jerked to life, sending her to the lobby. “What happened?”

“I panicked,” Steve groaned. “I’m sorry…”

“Why didn’t you say it was Nat?” Darcy said, eyes wide again.

“She’s with a… count. In Croatia,” Steve muttered. “Where are you going?”

“We need to meet up and work this out, I can’t improvise my way through the rest of the day. My phone is already blowing up –”

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Steve cut in, and Darcy glared at him. “Alright, sorry. I know this is my fault. You’re right. We’ll go to Chi Bao again –”

“No, somewhere neither of us will be recognized. Gimme your address…”

When they hung up, Darcy reached the lobby, looking around to see people watching the big TVs in the foyer. Several people turned and stared at Darcy and she looked away, ducking her head.

She hailed a cab and managed to get her way to Brooklyn, putting her phone on Do Not Disturb, sending Jane a text apologizing for racing out without explanation.

By the time she got to Steve’s street, she was sure the whole world was buzzing with this new name – her name – and she was about to catapult into something she knew nothing about. She was always in the background and now it was like she’d won the Avengers version of _Bachelor_.

She made sure the cab had turned the corner and she was virtually alone before ducking down an alley. She faced a building that seemed condemned from the outside, its windows barred, a sign pasted over a door. She went around the side to find another door, putting her phone to her ear.

“Hey, I’m here,” she said. “You got a camera I’m meant to point at, or -?”

The door wrenched open, revealing Steve. He tugged her inside, shutting the door a second later. Darcy looked around, seeing a furnished penthouse-looking place, her eyes widening.

“Holy shit, this is what’s inside this dump?” she blurted. “I need one of these –”

“I asked Fury for it a couple years back,” Steve replied, and she shut her mouth, nodding.

She followed him over to the couch and she sat down, Steve’s arms folding as he paced.

“You okay?” she asked, and he glanced at her, distracted.

“Me? I just threw you to the wolves –”

“I’ve felt worse,” she replied, hoping to nip that in the bud. She didn’t want him spiraling, she needed him motivated like she was trying to be. “You’ve clearly never been a teenage girl.”

“Huh,” he replied, dropping his arms, going still. “You’re really not bothered?”

“You did catch me off-guard, but it’s okay,” she said, shrugging a shoulder. “We need to formulate a plan.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

“First of all, no-one can know this is fake, then the whole story falls apart,” she said, and Steve frowned. “Think about it. If Ian _knew_ I faked it, how pathetic would that make me? People can suspect we’re doing this for publicity, but if everyone we know thinks it’s real –”

“The press will stop harassing me? I don’t think so,” Steve retorted.

Darcy made a face. “Okay, _first of all_ , I will guarantee you’ll be able to spread the real meaning of Christmas or some such bullshit –”

Steve tilted his head, frowning even more.

“- you can say hey, this is my girlfriend Darcy, now please donate to this charity, blah blah blah…”

Darcy put on her best smile.

“And then I can keep Ian away, start the year on a high. We break up, the press covers that, I get all the brand deals imaginable while I’m trying to move on… You’ll probably need some supermodel to console you. No-one loses. We both win.”

Steve took a few seconds before he scoffed.

“This is ludicrous, we can’t pretend to be dating. Who does that?”

He threw himself down on the couch, placing his head in his hands.

“Plenty of famous people do it all the time,” Darcy said, turning her body toward his. She leaned on her elbow, watching Steve mull it over, shaking his pretty head. “We can pull this off. It’ll only be a few weeks. You said you wanted them to quit nagging you about your sex life…”

“They’ll just have you to harass as well,” he cut in, shaking his head. “This century is so tasteless –”

“I can handle it,” Darcy said, putting her hand on her chest. “I’ll talk to the press. We’ll go to events and you can play the lovesick puppy who can’t articulate his feelings… I can do this.”

She leaned forward to touch his hand.

“ _We_ can do this,” she said.

Steve looked away, making a helpless sound, shaking his head.

“This is crazy,” he whispered. “It’s stupid… we’re friends.”

“Ouch,” Darcy said, pulling her hand away. She tried to remember he did love her, in his own way.

“No,” he added, and he touched her knee. “I meant, I don’t think I can convince anyone.”

Darcy took a second to retrieve her phone from her pocket, unlocking it and opening her work email.

“I have… two hundred messages in my inbox on Instagram, too,” she said, opening the app and scrolling to show Steve all the DMs. “Think about what it took for people to think you and Wanda were a thing.”

“I just had to _look_ at her,” Steve muttered. “These people…”

“I’ll be okay,” Darcy said, her voice softer. “But we’ll need some ground rules.”

-

She sat on his bench, swinging her legs, Steve standing beside her with a few beers open between them.

“No money. You can’t pay me to do this,” she said, and she caught a grin flashing across his face before he tipped back his drink. “Sounds too much like sex work to me, and I don’t want the IRS or whatever on our asses. We’re doing this as a mutual favor to one another.”

There was a pause.

“Except, y’know, you were the one who outed us to the press,” she added.

“Jesus, I’m sorry,” he groaned, and Darcy began to giggle. “You popped into my head.”

“No dating anyone outside of this,” she went on. “So no Ian for me, and no supermodels for you, no matter how much they try to get at us now that we’re taken.”

“I guess that’s a plus,” Steve said. “Sam threatened setting me up with someone…”

“See? Okay. Now we just need to confirm everyone’s suspicions…”

She thought for a little while, scrolling through her Instagram feed. She saw an influencer holding a coffee, wearing a thick scarf.

“We’re going to Starbucks, and we’re buying cake pops,” she said, clicking her fingers.

She thought the sentence over, and she shook her head.

“Easily the most Caucasian thing I’ve ever said,” she muttered.

She hopped off of the bench, walking out to the bathroom and shut the door. She checked her makeup, which she hadn’t bothered to do well that morning when she rolled out of bed for the labs. She went to her handbag and found a hairbrush, trying to tame her mane that she released from her old favourite maroon beanie.

She walked out to see Steve staring at the floor, lost in thought.

“Be honest,” she said, and he looked up. “With my hair like this, do I look like Martha Washington?”

She pointed to the elaborate bun she’d managed to do in the mirror.

She watched Steve try his hardest not to react, pressing his lips together.

“Nah,” he said, drawing out the word. “It’s fine…”

“Nat’s right,” she muttered, her hands going to her creation to start taking it apart. “You’re a terrible liar.”

-

Their Uber dropped them off at the corner and Darcy turned to Steve, nodding.

"Okay. You ready?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Why am I nervous?"

"Because you're so pure at heart, you can't stand the idea of lying to the American public?" Darcy drawled. 

"Y'know what, Lewis?" he retorted, his eyes lighting up with mischief. "I'm dumpin' you in front of everyone..."

"Oh, please," Darcy said, grabbing his hand to thread their fingers together. "I _will_ cry in public. I will make you out to be a massive asshole." 

He winked at her and they began to walk toward the front doors. It was warm when they slipped inside, the speakers above them playing tinny Christmas songs. Steve glanced around at the signs, and Darcy could see already people were recognizing him. She heard someone stage-whisper her name a couple times and she felt her heartbeat pick up. 

She squeezed Steve's hand and she tugged him toward the front counter. The employee behind the register beamed at them.

"Hi, he's new here," Darcy said, regarding Steve. "You guys got the gingerbread hot chocolate still?"

"Yes, ma'am!" said the server, and she wanted to cringe. "We've also got seasonal treats available -"

"Two snowman cake pops, then," she intervened. "Plus two full-cream gingerbread hot chocolates. To have here."

"Whose name is that under?"

"Darcy," she replied. 

She went to grab her wallet but Steve was like a ninja, pressing some cash into the server's hand. They stepped out of line and Darcy kept her hand in Steve's while they waited.

Steve's mouth was at her ear.

"Ma'am?" 

"Shut up," Darcy muttered through gritted teeth.

She felt like she was the queen in an elementary school ant farm and the kids were about to start tapping on the glass. She made sure to keep her eyes on the counter, and the second her name was called out she pounced, before following Steve to a table by the window.

Steve looked uncomfortable, resting his chin in his hand, his eyes trained on Darcy as she sipped.

"Eat," she whispered, and he picked up a cake pop and shoved it in his mouth. 

Darcy covered her snort by sipping more of her drink, but she couldn't help it - he looked so grumpy and the cheery rendition of _Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer_ was the cherry on top of the ridiculous sundae.

"Shut up," he mumbled, and Darcy cackled like a witch.

In retaliation, he grabbed her cake pop and ate it as well, then finally picked up his drink and sipped it. His face changed to something softer, almost content.

"Good?"

"Yeah," he replied so quietly it was barely a whisper. 

They spent the little visit sipping their drinks in silence. At one point, Darcy reached over to squeeze his hand and Steve gave a little smile. She wasn't sure if he was acting. He seemed a little looser and she was glad. She didn't want him tense all the time. 

When they left, Steve draped his arm around her and Darcy let herself adjust to it - in the past, the most physical contact they had was the occasional hug and a quick kiss on the cheek when it was her birthday in June. It felt good, especially in the cold, to have a big, warm body flush against hers. 

Steve put out an arm to hail a cab to see Darcy home and they waited on the curb, Darcy's stomach flipping when she realized she was about to stage a goodbye to everyone watching them in the street. She glanced at the Starbucks and saw everyone was at the windows, openly gawking.

"Jesus," she whispered, ducking her head.

A cab stopped and Steve opened the back. 

"Okay, I'll text you," he said. 

She nodded, the pause long and awkward. Steve's lips parted and she gave a slight nod. They'd talked about it before, but executing it was another thing entirely. He moved toward her, his hand touching her waist, giving her a gentle squeeze as he closed in on her. 

"Okay?" he whispered, and she nodded.

He bent his head and she tilted toward him, closing her eyes in a brief kiss. It was nothing. No passion behind it, certainly no tongue. It was over just as soon as it began, but Darcy felt her cheeks flush when his lips brushed hers. He pulled back, his eyes on her lips.

"See you," he murmured. 

"Yeah, bye," Darcy replied, and she practically fell into the cab, shutting the door. She gave the driver her address and squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the cab take off a second later. 

They needed to work on that. For half a second, Darcy had turned completely gullible.


	3. iii. That Was Fast

_He's never messing around_  
 _He's always holding it down_  
 _He's my dream boy_  
\- **"In My Dreams" by Kali Uchis**

**iii. That Was Fast**

Darcy watched her phone grow more chaotic, the notifications overlapping on her screen when she decided to take her device off of Do Not Disturb.

The elevator ride to her floor was not solitary. Several people got on and off. A couple took no notice of her – those were the ones she suspected were bona fide SHIELD agents who never gave a shit about gossip. She appreciated those cold-hearted guys so much more than the women whose whole demeanor changed the second they realized who Darcy was.

Being covered in strangers’ eyes distracted her momentarily from the kiss she had with Steve. It was nothing – she was pretty sure she got more action on her prom night, and that was a fiasco of teenage blundering in the back of a limo, her date grabbing her boob by mistake – and yet she couldn’t get over just how completely unprepared she was for kissing Steve.

It was sexless, and yet her heart had pounded like nothing else. She thought about him noticing just how unsettled she was and she cringed as she stepped out of the elevator. She fumbled her key card and sighed, irritated. Once she got inside her place, she decided to check just what was being said about her online.

“Oh, come on!” she yelled, seeing a particularly unflattering photo _TMZ_ decided to use for their headline _Captain America’s Mystery Woman EXPOSED!_. “Good Lord.”

The photo itself was grainy, taken when Thor was visiting one time last year. Darcy remembered rolling out of bed that morning, throwing on her only clean clothes and not bothering to brush her hair or even put in her contacts. Her glasses were askew, her chin was dotted with hormonal acne… the only thing worse could be a photo of her scratching her ass or picking her nose.

Jane’s number popped up and Darcy answered her, readying herself for all types of Jane questions.

“So, apparently you’re dating Steve.”

“Yeah,” Darcy replied, going into the kitchen to contemplate a snack of some kind.

She anticipated a lot of stress eating over the next few weeks. She grabbed a tub of coconut yogurt and a spoon and ate straight from the container, sucking the spoon.

“How long’s that been going on?”

Darcy tried not to read too much into Jane’s tone. Her boss had an ability to be extremely insensitive by accident. She was a genius but had little time for decorum. She knew her intent was good for the most part.

“Not long,” she replied. It wasn’t technically a lie. She waited for a question she already knew was coming.

“What about Ian?”

There it was. And fair enough, because Jane was the one who heard the most about Ian Boothby.

“Done and dusted,” Darcy mumbled, her mouth full. “Especially after the last time.”

“So you and Steve?”

“Yeah,” Darcy retorted, drawing out the word. She went in for more yogurt. “You kinda already said that.”

“No, it’s just – well, I’m glad, you two were always close,” Jane said, and Darcy made a face, thinking of that kiss again.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, it was kind of annoying,” Jane muttered. Darcy could hear her moving papers on her end. “It was one of those will they, won’t they things. I hate those in movies, by the way. It’s like, just do it already. You both were so obvious…”

Darcy shoved the yogurt away, slamming the door.

“Good to know,” she snapped, unable to stop herself. “Listen, I’ve got some fires to put out. I don’t think I’ll be coming back today. You understand.”

“Oh, totally,” Jane said, oblivious. “I’d hate to be you right now.”

“Why?” Darcy said, “Steve’s your type. All big and strong…”

She heard Jane chuckle.

“Yeah, I guess so… I mean the gala this weekend. I never go to those with Thor…”

Darcy closed her eyes. Yes, of course. The events she said she’d go to, which was half the point of pretending to be Steve’s girlfriend.

When she hung up, maybe because she was a masochist, she checked her messages with Ian that she’d been ignoring.

_That was fast_

_It’s sort of a relief_

_I met someone_

_Hope you have a nice Christmas_

She stared, scrolling back up. Only yesterday he’d been asking her to come over, telling her how much he missed her, trying to remind her of the fun they had last time. There was even a compliment about her blow job skills that made her roll her eyes. She began to type back.

_You met someone?_

Had he been cheating on this person with Darcy? The thought of Ian doing that to some other person she’d never met made her stomach churn. Not that she’d ever be okay with that… She felt like she’d been tricked all over again.

When Ian didn’t reply, she went back to the news outlets, seeing people speculate about her. Some people were downright disgusting, but she wasn’t surprised. The articles listed off a bunch of people Steve was linked to, openly comparing Darcy to them with such disdain. Fuck that. Darcy was not some name in _Mambo No. 5_.

She stayed in her apartment, stewing, until Steve called her after dinner.

“Sam’s relieved,” he said, and Darcy snorted.

“I’m so glad,” she muttered.

She was in the middle of watching _I’ll Be Home For Christmas._ She didn’t have to wait long for Steve’s penitence.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she replied. “Just a bunch of assholes picking me apart like we’re doing something against nature, because you’re so beautiful…”

“I’m sorry –”

“Don’t,” she said, cutting him off. There was no way she’d gone through today only to give up. “I chose Starbucks. I chose…”

She couldn’t say it, her sentence falling away. Steve made an affirmative noise.

“We should meet up tomorrow. Privately.”

“Lunch, maybe?” Darcy offered, and she heard him chuckle. “And you still owe me my pick of a movie…”

She thought about it being Wednesday tomorrow, and the conversation she had with Jane came back to her in a rush.

“Shit. I need to buy a dress,” she blurted. “We’ll do that tomorrow, alright? I need a dress for the Stark Foundation gala on Friday.”

He said nothing and she pressed on.

“I mean, it’s alright for you, you just have to put on a monkey suit and shake some hands… Steve?”

She heard him clear his throat.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll go wherever.”

When Darcy hung up, she felt uneasy. She thought about why he’d gone quiet, and maybe she should anticipate some type of buyer’s remorse in the morning.

-

She kept thinking of the text Ian sent her in the middle of the night.

_Her name’s Chloe. You’d like her_

She then decided to go down that social media rabbit hole, trying her hardest to ignore how her Instagram had exploded with notifications, and she found the Chloe Ian was referring to. She was tanned and smiling, wearing a graduation cap among a stream of other happy moments with friends and family.

Darcy made the comparisons faster than her ability to stop herself and she crossed out of her app, sighing. She drank more coffee, reminding herself of all the times she regretted getting close to her intern.

You’d like her? Did he say that to set her off? He knew her well enough to make her go crazy jealous if he tried. Whatever, good riddance. She could have him. Good luck to Chloe…

She opened her text messages again and started typing out a new message despite the voice in her head telling her otherwise.

_Asshole_

She regretted sending it, because now he knew he’d got under her skin. She groaned, slamming her phone down on her counter.

-

People had taken photos of Steve and Darcy’s kiss on the curb. She knew it was going to happen, but seeing it online made her feel weird.

Did she really look like that? Her profile made her stare, wondering how she managed to go through her whole life just looking like that. She felt like an alien in a human’s body, unsure of how other people managed to do this, especially for a living.

She knew she wasn’t ugly, but she was having a hard time not honing in on every flaw, especially while seeing how Steve was looking down at her in the photograph, his so intently taking her in.

When she arrived in the labs, Jane’s eyes were wide, her hand pinching her arm and pulling her through the glass doors.

“Ow, what the hell -?”

“Do you know how many people have asked about you already?” her boss hissed, and Darcy shrugged.

“How could I know?”

“I’m going to put out a memo, asking people to not bring it up,” Jane said, raising a finger. “I’m trying to approve projects, not tell people about your sex life.”

“Okay, _ew_ ,” Darcy said, throwing her bag onto the floor. She glanced at her boss as she’d gone to the whiteboard to write some notes on it in furious, illegible scrawl. She squinted. “Is that an ‘I’ or a ‘L’?”

Jane spun around. “Okay, I hate it. I’d _rather_ go back to the annoying will they, won’t they. You realize HR will want to talk to you two about filling in a form, or like, ten?”

Darcy shut her eyes, feeling like an idiot. Of course – how had that slipped her mind completely? She was sure Steve hadn’t thought of it, either.

“Steve’s a freelancer. And technically, I don’t work for SHIELD, right?” Darcy said, trying to shrug away her troubles. “I work for you. Problem solved.”

Jane let out a humourless laugh, shaking her head. “Oh, no. They’d be worried about some kind of impending lawsuit.”

It was nice to know that SHIELD was romantic at heart. Darcy sighed, slumping down into her chair. She switched off her phone and opened her laptop.

-

Darcy’s head turned toward the door when she heard it open a bit after noon, and she saw Steve standing there, his hands in his pockets.

He looked his usual handsome self, wearing his brown leather jacket over a white t-shirt, his dark jeans looking neat and stylish. She’d sort of hoped he’d crack open the flannel, but this was good, too.

“Hey,” she said. She remembered Jane was within earshot and made herself smile, Steve’s reaction delayed but still friendly.

He walked over to her desk and Darcy jumped up, glancing at Jane.

“Your phone was off,” Steve said in a low voice. “So I came down to check if we were still on for lunch.”

“Oh, for sure,” Darcy replied, and she watched Jane pretend she wasn’t listening in. “Is that _okay_ , Jane?”

Her boss spun around.

“Oh! Yes, of course,” she replied, flashing a smile. She met Darcy’s eye for a second before looking back at Steve. “Hi, Steve.”

“Hi,” he said, smiling.

There was an awkward pause and Darcy grabbed him by his shirt, her hand gripping her bag. She steered him toward the door, feeling Jane’s eyes on them as they left.

“Have fun!”

Darcy let go of him on the other side of the glass doors, her eyes scanning for onlookers. People in other labs surrounding them were looking over, noticing Steve and nudging one another.

“This is what happens when an Avenger deigns to interact with lowly research assistants,” Darcy muttered. “You’d think they’d never seen one of you enhanced guys before…”

“Says you who calls Thor a cutie-patootie,” Steve muttered, and Darcy narrowed her eyes up at him.

“Hey, he’s my _brother_. You wish I called you that.”

He smirked, shaking his head. They moved toward the elevator and he pressed the button. Darcy glanced over at the glass doors and saw several pairs of eyes look away, clearly spying on them. She could hear some muffled talking behind the glass and she looked back at Steve.

“You don’t wanna know what they’re sayin’,” he whispered.

She put on her widest grin, speaking through her teeth. “I have some idea.”

“They think we’re gonna go have sex,” Steve said, and he rubbed his nose with a finger while Darcy’s grin disappeared instantly, replacing it with a scowl. He smiled at her, chuckling. “Ah, yes. _That’s_ the face I remember from my lovemaking…”

Darcy felt her cheeks flush and she burst out laughing, touching his arm. The elevator doors opened and she kept laughing, even with the strangers already in the car standing in deadly silence together as they rode up to her floor.

-

Darcy threw back the curtain, stalking out into the adjacent sitting area. She watched Steve’s eyebrows rise almost to his hairline.

The dress she had on was the eighth one she’d tried.

“Don’t lie,” she snapped.

Steve opened his mouth and she pointed threateningly.

“Don’t.”

“It’s…”

“What,” she snapped.

She saw the sales assistant with another tray of champagne, taking the empty flute Steve was holding, her face bursting into a strained smile. Darcy knew she worked on commission.

“It’s modern,” Steve said eventually.

“It’s horrible,” Darcy retorted. She flapped her arms. “I look like a ham wrapped up in string –”

“Go up a size -?” Steve began and Darcy glared at him, and he promptly snapped his mouth shut.

“Nothing looks good,” she whined, and the sales girl came forward, smoothing down the sleeves.

Darcy knew she wasn’t the right shape for anything she was trying on. All the fashions called for a girl a half a foot taller than her, and they had to be flat up and down. She was short and round, making material bunch in unflattering angles, and she was pink in the face from the lighting beaming down at her. It was an ordeal to get in and out of everything.

“You look –”

“Cherie, do not speak,” Darcy cut in, but she immediately cringed. “I’m sorry. I used to work in retail, I don’t want to be one of those customers…”

“I’ll come back,” Cherie said, dropping her hand. She looked at Steve, who nodded.

She left them alone and Darcy sighed.

“What do I do?”

“Go somewhere else?” Steve said. “Wear something you’ve already got? I think you look –”

Darcy took her phone from her bag, feeling the dress strain as she moved. She opened Instagram and held up a picture of an influencer she followed.

“She’s going to the gala. How am I supposed to compete with that?”

“She looks hungry,” Steve retorted, and Darcy frowned.

“She’s _stunning_ –”

“And skinny. And she looks taller than me,” Steve went on, pushing her phone away. “So your standards are literally impossible. Unless Jane’s got some type of machine she’s been secretly working on that’ll stretch out your legs. And also make you blonde.”

There was a brief silence and Darcy wanted to roll her shoulders but she knew she’d literally tear something if she attempted it.

“Darce, what are we doin’ here?” Steve murmured. “Let’s go somewhere _you’d_ go.”

“Target?” Darcy said, and he smiled.

“I’m fine with that.”

-

An hour later, she pulled back the curtain and saw Steve open his hands, grinning from ear to ear.

“Better! So much better,” he said, and she smiled.

“Yeah? It’s not… too old-fashioned?”

“You’re askin’ the wrong guy, Darce,” he retorted.

He stood up as she turned to look at herself in another mirror. The dress she chose was a vintage find in a boutique. She’d been apprehensive at first when Steve suggested it, until he told her he’d got the address from Pepper Potts when Darcy was struggling out of the last bad dress. It smelt vaguely musty but she knew a dry clean would do wonders.

“I feel like…” she spun on the spot.

The dress was something out of an old Hollywood movie. Her waist was cinched, her chest framed in a plunging neckline with off-the-shoulder sleeves. She knew she’d still feel a little tight in the dress because of the cut, but at least the skirts covered her lower half in a flattering, almost freeing way with how the material seemed to flow straight into the floor like a wave of red satin and tulle.

“Good?” Steve finished, and Darcy nodded. He threw his head back. “Thank God for that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone so far with the responses to this story! ❤
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	4. iv. Hell, Yeah, That, Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear 24 hours ago I was telling myself to only update this when I had the majority written, and now I'm already posting the fourth part because I CAN'T STOP MYSELF. Ugh.

_Extraordinarily pretty teeth_  
 _Beauty lingers out of reach_  
 _-_ **"Deadcrush" by Δ**

**iv. Hell, Yeah, That, Too**

It was Friday morning. She had the gala to go to that night. She’d spent the last day going over their plan. As Jane predicted, an HR rep sent her an email asking if the rumors about her and Steve were true at all. Darcy was grateful that the rep whose name was Leslie didn’t just go off of the _TMZ_ pictures and endless stream of online trash.

Instead, she and Steve were sitting opposite her in her office, Leslie’s hands clasped together on top of a full binder.

Darcy tried to keep still. Her thoughts were filled with nervous anticipation of their night ahead. This little interview was meant to go as fast as possible. She didn’t think there was much that needed to happen to convince SHIELD they were a couple.

“How’d you two meet?”

Darcy was snapped back to the present, Leslie’s smile wide as she regarded them.

“Is that, uh, a question on the form?” Steve asked.

“No, that’s just me,” she replied. “I like to hear about those sorts of stories. My parents have been married fifty-three years… I’m a romantic.”

“Work,” Steve said. “I mean, obviously, that’s why we’re here… because it’s… work…”

Darcy lay her hand on his, coming to the rescue.

“We’ve known each other since I moved to New York with Doctor Foster,” Darcy said. “We didn’t start seeing one another until really recently.”

“How recent?” Leslie asked, uncapping her pen. She looked at Steve. “That _is_ on the form.”

“Two months,” he said. He’d agreed with Darcy to keep their details vague but plausible. “Six weeks, I guess…”

“We weren’t sure,” Darcy added, but she patted his hand.

“I talked her into it,” Steve said, and Leslie nodded.

“You don’t work under one another but it still can put a strain on the work environment if a personal relationship comes into play. SHIELD once had a strict no-dating policy, until around the fall of the Berlin Wall –”

Leslie gave a little shrug.

“Tensions were running high, I suppose you could say. And then people were feeling a little more… open, I suppose. We’ll need you to agree to a few rules and sign a form.”

They were handed copies of the same form and Darcy took out a couple pens from her bag, handing one to Steve. She began to fill in her details and the fake ones they’d agreed on yesterday after they went dress shopping.

“It’s exciting, with the gala on tonight,” Leslie said, and Darcy glanced up from her page. “Are you going?”

“Yes,” Darcy said, looking back down. She promptly signed the bottom of the last page, handing it back to Leslie.

Steve was still reading and she nudged him with her elbow.

“It’s all a formality –”

“This sounds a little bit like a non-disclosure agreement,” he murmured. He looked at Leslie. “What’s the worst that can happen if we broke up?”

“Either party could sue SHIELD.”

There was an awkward pause and Steve skimmed the rest of the page, before signing it at the bottom.

Later in the elevator, he scratched his head, his mind elsewhere.

“We’re committing fraud,” he said finally, and Darcy snorted.

“A mild day for you, sweetie,” she murmured, and Steve glanced at her, quirking his brow. Darcy smirked. “Bad pet name?”

“No. Just weird to be hearin’ it from you,” he replied. He crossed his arms. “I’m used to ‘dude’ or ‘man’ from you –”

“Better get used to it, bud,” Darcy said.

They lapsed into silence and Darcy nudged his foot with her own.

“I never asked about that terrible date that you definitely didn’t want me bringing up again –”

She watched as he glanced at the ceiling, shaking his head.

“- but I wondered just how bad it was that you’re blurted my name on national television instead of hers.”

“It’s nothing,” he said, and Darcy grinned.

“Really? No girl you’re trying to make jealous?”

“What about Ian? He’s not begging you roll your ass down to his apartment?” Steve deflected, and Darcy grinned wider, knowing she’d hit a sore spot.

“A chink in your armor,” she said, pointing at him. “I bet your stupid o’clock hours are like, 4.45 to 9PM with the whole early bird special thing you old folks like to cash in on –”

“Wow, we’re already onto the elder abuse. You’re right, it’s a mild day –”

The elevator stopped and they abruptly cut themselves off, the doors opening. Sam Wilson stood there, his face lighting up at the sight of them together. Darcy took a step closer to Steve. She was otherwise on the other side of the car.

“Lewis! I was hoping to run into you two together eventually.”

She smiled, improvising by grabbing Steve’s hand. Sam ducked into the elevator and pressed a button for the lobby.

“You just as glad as me that he finally got his head out of his ass?” Sam asked, and Darcy blinked up at Steve.

“Sure,” she replied. “You’re… the third person to say that to me this week. Do you know Kevin?”

“You’ll have to be specific,” Sam replied. “If you mean Kevin in Accounts, then yeah, I know Kevin. He owes me –”

“See, if you told me there was cash involved, I would’ve done you the favor sooner,” Steve cut in, and the two men smiled at one another. He moved closer to Darcy, putting an arm around her shoulder to draw her into an embrace and he kissed her head.

Darcy felt herself go still before relaxing into his touch, and she hoped Sam didn’t notice.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Lewis,” he said, and Darcy felt herself blush. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything…”

“No,” Darcy said, a little sharper than necessary, before she began to laugh.

It made it sound as if that was exactly what was happening before he showed up, but it seemed to add to the narrative. She turned her head to press her face into Steve’s shirt and laughed some more.

“You’re adorable,” Sam said, and Darcy kept her face hidden, waiting.

The elevator stopped at the lobby and Sam got off, waving to them both. They separated once the doors shut again.

“We need to get better at that,” Darcy muttered.

“I thought we were okay,” Steve said.

“And the kissing, too,” she added, avoiding his gaze. She licked her lips, thinking of the Starbucks date. “We can’t look like we’re in an arranged marriage.”

“Is that your way of trying to get me to practice with you before the gala?” he muttered, and Darcy’s eyes snapped to his.

“I am an excellent kisser,” she said, crossing her arms. “I’m good at-at-”

“Sex?” Steve interjected.

Darcy tried her best to not act deterred.

“Hell, yeah, that, too,” she said, raising a finger. “I’m… the whole package.”

“I bet.”

He was smiling at her and Darcy could feel the heat rise in her cheeks.

“You just wait, tonight you’re gonna get… _so_ kissed,” she went on. “And I won’t need you coming to the rescue with your arm around me –”

“If you’re not comfortable with me touchin’ you, sweetheart, maybe we need to call it off.”

The elevator stopped, the doors opening. Darcy was too busy staring at Steve to notice. His eyes flitted to the doors and then Darcy’s face, meeting her gaze.

“I didn’t think you did, though,” his voice low. “Have a problem with me touchin’ you, I mean.”

They took too long to move and the elevator doors began to close. Steve leaned over to block them with his arm, still staring at her.

“I’m fine,” she said.

Some people began to walk in and Darcy squeezed past them, looking back at Steve. They had an audience and she felt herself shift back into the role.

“Bye, baby,” she said, waving her hand.

She could have sworn his eyes changed at the pet name before the doors closed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next part will be the Stark Foundation gala! Get ready for shenanigans!  
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	5. v. Cap, and Hedy Lamarr

_Woo child, tired of the bullshit_   
_Go on dust your shoulders off, keep it moving_

\- **"Good as Hell" by Lizzo**

**v. Cap, and Hedy Lamarr**

At 4:58 that afternoon, Darcy packed up her things and shut down her laptop, glancing Jane’s way.

“I’m going.”

“Okay, have fun,” she called. “Text me about it later.”

Darcy wasn’t sure what type of fun the gala would be. Not her type of fun, surely. She knew it definitely wasn’t Steve’s type of fun.

She grabbed her bag and raced out to get the elevator. She had two and a half hours to prepare. She envied Steve, who most likely only had to do the three S’s – shower, shit, and shave.

She spent the next hour eating bites of her dinner in between little tasks she’d broken down onto a list. She liked lists. People should always have a good list going. Luckily, she hadn’t written down anything to do with their fake dating situation. She didn’t need a paper trail… she wondered about how’d she look back on this particular Christmas. Hopefully, without pain.

Speaking of pain, Jane began calling as she was fixing her hair. She pressed the speaker option and yelled out:

“What? I’m busy!”

It didn’t help that she was blasting Christmas music, too, but she was a little on edge and not bothering to control the volume of her voice.

“Are you going to start your application for the liaison position this weekend?”

Darcy had forgotten about that, amongst all the bullshit of the last few days. She’d got several brands reaching out to her on Instagram, and her old high school friends and exes were asking after her on Facebook more.

“I dunno…”

“Darce, it’ll take you at least a couple of hours to complete. I can come over and help –”

“I’ll think about it,” Darcy cut in, and then she hung up, sighing.

She hated how Jane pushed her. She knew she felt obligated to help her, but Darcy was a grown woman. She knew she should jump at the opportunity for more work, with more responsibilities. She was really good at her job, but she had no idea if she could deal with the SHIELD side of things.

She stood back from the mirror, looking at her bare face while _Jingle Bell Rock_ filled her ears. She moved back, deciding it was time to work on her face.

“I can do this,” she whispered. She blew a raspberry at herself. “Come on, I can do this.”

She attempted a shrug, feeling the butterflies return.

“Fuck.”

-

She took the elevator to the lobby, some SHIELD employees hopping on and off on the way down. She was nervous, but she knew she wasn’t going to be the centre of attention – Steve would be, and she’d promised she’d be there for him.

She’d done crazier things than this before. This was nothing!

She moved out of the elevator, glancing around to see a familiar figure with his back to her, his hands in his suit pockets.

“Hey.”

He spun around and Darcy went still, seeing the look on his face as he drank her in. He looked like he’d been hit over the head, and his mouth falling open.

“Whoa.”

“You don’t have to – it’s not like you haven’t –” Darcy held up her hand, shaking her head.

“There’s a big difference from seeing you try it on and _this_ ,” Steve said, his eyes traveling over her.

He moved closer, touching her arm. Darcy stiffened, then saw the group of people walking past them and looking at her and Steve standing together.

“I haven’t seen you in a suit before,” she said, giving him a once-over. “You look good.”

She touched the skinny black tie and Steve’s eyes landed on her hands, before his gaze traveled to her mouth.

“Nice lipstick,” he murmured.

“Thanks, the shade name is _Iron Man Red_ ,” she said with a grin.

He narrowed his eyes slightly. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

She froze completely when his thumb came up, rubbing her lower lip. She managed to find her voice.

“Smudge-proof,” she whispered. She yanked his tie, distracting him. “Let’s go.”

-

The car ride over was tense. She could see Steve didn’t want to be there. She was reminded of Starbucks and how he looked grumpy and resigned. She took his hand in hers and he squeezed, still looking out the window from the back seat.

“I can do the talking,” she whispered, and he looked at her, his face looking less tired.

“No,” he said softly. “I do have to speak at some point. Donations for this program I tried to start – it’s meant to help the kids affected by the Battle of New York.”

That was more than two years ago, but it felt like yesterday to Darcy.

“I’m trying to not seem like I’m telling people what to do –”

Darcy let out a chuckle and Steve’s lips quirked into a smile.

“- even though you know what’s best for the city?” Darcy finished, and he nodded.

“Yeah. Why is it so hard to convince people to give to the less fortunate?”

“They think you’re taking away their money for people that didn’t earn it,” Darcy said, and he sighed.

“Yeah, I know,” he murmured, glancing out the window. “Tony says people feel more generous in December…”

“How many of these events are there?” Darcy asked, and Steve smiled wider.

“You backin’ out already, sweetheart?”

She’d thought about it over and over while getting ready tonight. She could be making a massive mistake, shining a spotlight on herself. It would be nothing compared to what Steve went through. She smiled at him, shaking her head.

“Of course not.”

“Okay,” he said, glancing at her mouth again, his smile muted.

They pulled up at the entrance. There were reporters milling around outside, security at the front door. It was an art gallery Darcy had never been to, a large sign on the front of the Stark Industries logo with illustrations of gold stars on its edges. Darcy sucked in a breath and let it go.

“Ready?” she said, and Steve nodded.

He opened his door, the voices yelling outside flooding in. People calling ‘Captain’ and ‘Cap’ as he got out, and Darcy shuffled over to his side.

She tugged her dress the rest of the way out of the car before Steve shut the door, and he turned to offer her his arm and she took it.

“Darcy! Darcy, who are you wearing?”

Darcy turned her head toward the reporter and smiled.

“ _Not_ Target.”

The security let them through, and Darcy could hear the sounds of a symphony orchestra playing Silent Night as they moved into the main gallery. There were hundreds of people, some of them glancing their way when they realized Steve had arrived.

Darcy’s heart was beating fast and she knew her hands were turning clammy with nerves but she kept moving, until Tony Stark cut in front of them.

“Cap, and Hedy Lamarr,” he said, winking at Darcy. “You’re looking good, Lewis.”

“Thanks,” she said, moving to push her cheek toward Tony, and he brushed his lips against her skin in a kiss.

His outfit was a sharp suit with prescription sunglasses despite being indoors. Darcy’s relationship with Tony was always a little strained, at least with Jane present. The two geniuses clashed with their ideas, and for the most part, Jane hated sharing resources.

“You ready to mingle with fat cats, buddy?” he said to Steve, who was glancing around the crowd.

His eyes snapped to meet Tony’s.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he muttered, frowning.

“Your enthusiasm is unparalleled,” Tony drawled.

Darcy took Steve’s hand between hers, looking up at him.

“He’s just crabby ‘cause it’s past his bedtime,” she said, and Tony laughed.

“I knew I liked you, Lewis…”

Darcy kept looking at Steve, watching him dial back the irritation by a couple degrees.

“You drinking, Lewis?” Tony said, and she glanced at him, blinking.

“Yes, I am drinking. But I’ll wait until Steve’s got a couple conversations rolling…”

“Hmm,” the billionaire replied, regarding her differently. “Maybe you’re wasted in those labs downstairs. PR moves aren’t exactly our thing –”

“I’m fine where I am,” she cut in. “I don’t need to put out Avengers’ fires.”

Tony shrugged. “Anyway. Booze is behind you, don’t do coke in the bathroom.”

He walked on and Steve stared after him.

“He’s not serious about me doing drugs in the bathroom?” Darcy said, and Steve shook his head.

“I have no idea.”

“’Cause that’d be a _bummer_ ,” she said, exaggerating her eyebrow lift. “I brought some for everyone.”

Steve smiled, his eyes scanning.

“I better… mingle,” he mumbled.

Darcy thought about reminding him that he’d done this before, years and years ago for the war effort, but she got the feeling that if she did that she’d be met with a brick wall of sorts. Steve hated the days before he used Erskine’s serum for good. Every so often Darcy would find memorabilia on eBay, posters of Steve pointing at the reader asking for their lives to be put on the line.

“I won’t leave you, okay?” she murmured, and he looked down at her. “I’m right here.”

“Okay.”

Darcy met the mayor’s eldest daughter, a graduate from NYU. Leonardo DiCaprio was somewhere in the background but she didn’t push Steve toward him. There were supermodels with their Wall Street boyfriends and sugardaddies, plus plenty of politicians she couldn’t stand.

Darcy was the one to help the conversation stay lighter than the usual ‘the city needs your help’ plea that Steve was trying to push.

“How did you two meet?” asked a governor’s wife, pointing at them.

Darcy smiled, looking up at Steve.

“I work in the research labs at the Tower,” she said. She patted Steve’s arm. “I know Thor.”

“Oh!” the woman said. “I hope he doesn’t expect you to quit working when you’re married, I know it was the thing back in the day –”

Darcy felt her cheeks flush but she laughed it off.

“No, I’m… I’ll keep working. But it’s really early days…”

When they moved away Steve let out a breath of a laugh, rubbing his eye.

“Do people forget that Peggy Carter founded SHIELD?” Darcy murmured, glancing over at the governor and his wife. “She worked all her life…”

“Yeah, but we never – I never married her,” Steve said.

Something changed. Maybe mentioning Peggy was the wrong thing to do. Darcy didn’t want to treat him like he was made of glass. He’d mentioned his past life constantly. His eyes had sort of glazed over in the space of a few seconds and Darcy tried to think of something to remedy the situation.

“I’ll get us some drinks,” she said, patting his arm again. She looked over at the bar. “I’ll come back.”

She didn’t wait for his reply, slipping her arm out from under his and making her way through the crowd. She hated these stilts she was on, walking so slowly. She managed to weave past everyone to get to the bar where a dozen or so people were trying to order drinks. She was accidentally pushed into one guy who was nursing his scotch, his tie undone.

“God, sorry,” she said, a nervous chuckle bubbling up. “People everywhere…”

“I know you,” he slurred, turning his attention toward her. He looked like one of the Wall Street guys, but he seemed to be alone. “You’re Darcy Lewis.”

“Let me guess,” she said, holding up her hand to signal one of the bartenders. “You’re first name _Jack_ , last name _Daniels_ …”

He blinked at her blearily, his eyes settling on her chest.

“I’ve got a theory,” he said, moving closer to her again. Darcy scowled. “These forties guys… do they fuck like it’s still the forties? Missionary, lights out…?”

“Jesus Christ,” Darcy muttered. She waved at the bartender who was ignoring her. “Hello?”

“I’m thinking yeah, he doesn’t treat girls like he should –”

Darcy met his eye, seeing him staring at her, his hooded eyes unfocused.

“I know Captain America’s not a do-gooder, but he’s done good, y’know? And him trying to raise money for the mess he and his buddies caused shows how guilty he feels…”

“You’re talking about a man who fought a Chitauri army after waking up in a world he didn’t recognize,” Darcy said, unable to keep quiet. “And as for charity –”

“How’d you get a guy like him, huh? You… do things he didn’t get back then?”

Darcy didn’t have to stretch her imagination to think of what he was implying, not when he was openly staring at her tits.

He moved even closer and Darcy balled her hand into a fist, readying herself.

“What if I took you home, huh? Would you suck my cock?”

Darcy rose her arm but she was blocked, Steve cutting between them, the Wall Street guy pulling back, his eyes wide.

“I’m fine –” Darcy said, and then Steve’s hands were on either side of her face, his head tilting to meet hers.

He pressed his mouth to hers, Darcy’s reaction delayed as her body caught up with her brain. His nose brushed hers, his lips moving, his touch becoming a real kiss. For a second, she felt his tongue meet hers. It was filthy enough that Darcy felt her stomach drop.

Steve pulled back, his lips shining, and he looked down at her mouth, and fuck if that didn’t make Darcy immediately wet.

“You’re right, it is smudge-proof,” he murmured.

He turned, glaring at the Wall Street guy.

“Apologize,” he said, his voice like ice. The stranger gaped at him.

“I’m –”

“Not me, her,” Steve said, shaking his head just the once.

“I’m sorry,” the guy babbled, and then he picked up his glass and walked away.

Darcy could feel they were being watched. Steve took her arm and pulled her out of there, muttering under his breath:

_“Not a do-gooder, but he’s done good…”_

Her eyes widened. He’d managed to hear everything. She shook her head.

“God, of course you’re fucking stuck on that part.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will never tire of "is this guy bothering you" types of scenes. Cliche? Yes... but I love it.


	6. vi. You Were Great

_Why can't you imagine a world like that?_  
_Imagine a world  
_ _Can you imagine it?_

**\- "imagine" by Ariana Grande**

**vi. You Were Great**

Darcy fell into step with him, seeing the eyes follow them through the crowd. She kept her voice to a harsh whisper, hoping no-one overheard.

“What the fuck was that? Could you _give me_ a heads up?”

Steve pulled her closer, staring down at her face as she frowned up at him.

“Was that supposed to comfort me, or were you just marking your territory?” she hissed, and he blinked at her.

“It was more authentic that way, I thought,” he said.

A couple they were talking to earlier glided by and Darcy flashed a smile, waving. The second they were out of earshot, she glared back at him.

“I was fine,” she said, “I’m not a damsel in distress.”

“You switchin’ like that is fuckin’ terrifiyin’, Darce,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist.

She felt herself stiffen but she let go, sighing.

“I’m good at this,” she whispered. “Just don’t… kiss me like that again.”

She knew what she needed. She needed to get away from him as fast as possible, because the way he kissed her and the way he was looking at her now made her feel like he wanted to swallow her whole. She couldn’t even stand to look him in the eye too long, fearing she’d give herself away. She hated that him paying the slightest attention to her made her want to clamp her legs together.

“I never got that drink,” she mumbled, and he let out a breath of a laugh.

“I’ll get you one, sit tight,” he replied, and he moved away, leaving her standing in the crowd.

She got out her phone and contemplating texting Jane everything, but she could imagine the tirade of texts to follow, telling her she was nuts, and why did she always do shit like this? She saw a text from her mother, asking about what they were doing for Christmas.

It made Darcy sigh. She didn’t enjoy Christmas at home. It was usually her mom and her boyfriend, but for the first time in several years they were both single and miserable, so it wasn’t going to be a jolly experience if she went back for dinner.

Steve returned with beers and she took one, tipping it back immediately to gulp some down.

“How was I supposed to respond to that guy?” he muttered, and Darcy felt everything shift. “I wanted to beat the crap outta him, but it’s Tony’s event…”

“ _I_ was going to hit him,” Darcy said, and he gave her a knowing look. “You should’ve just let me.”

“Maybe let’s go find him,” he said, making a show of looking around. “What d’you think? Take him outside, I’ll record it on your phone while you go to town –”

“Don’t,” Darcy said, and she’d begun to giggle, covering her mouth with her hand. “I’m picturing it now.”

They lapsed into silence as they drank, until Tony came by again, looking considerably looser.

“Oh, hello,” Darcy murmured, and he winked at her saucily. “You’re full of Christmas cheer.”

“And tequila,” Tony said, and then he pointed at Steve. “You. Don’t blow this with her. I mean, _blow_ her –”

“God,” Darcy muttered, drinking more while Steve’s eyes widened.

“But don’t blow this,” Tony said, and then he looked at Darcy. “You’re great.”

“Okay,” she said. She handed Steve her bottle. “I’m going to find the ladies’.”

It was too much. She needed to breathe. She managed to find the bathroom, seeing a massive line out the door. She texted Jane, who was bragging about having her feet up at home while watching _Planet Earth_.

“Oh, my God,” Darcy whispered. “Stop teasing me…”

Someone bumped into her elbow and Darcy moved back, irritated. The girl next to her gasped.

“Oh, my God. You’re – you’re dating Captain America,” she said.

She was blonde, with long lithe limbs and wide blue eyes. Her dress was a thin black stain material with cut-outs to the sides that accentuated her petite frame. Her cheekbones looked like they were sharp enough to cut Darcy if she leaned in too close.

She was definitely a model of some type. Darcy was sure the name would come to her later when she wasn’t so dumbstruck.

“Yeah,” she breathed, smiling. “I’m Darcy.”

The other girls with the blonde model made it seem like Darcy was looking at a set of triplets with variations of the same attributes.

“I’m Jen,” said the leader. “Can we take a selfie?”

In the line to the bathroom? Darcy thought about it, but they were already lifting up their phones and moving closer to her, their perfumes invading her. She was pretty sure these girls were barely out of high school, too. When Darcy was eighteen, she did not try anywhere near as much as them.

“So cute,” Jen said, beaming at her. “You’re so lucky.”

“We love him so much,” one of the other girls gushed.

“Oh,” Darcy muttered, looking away. “It’s better not to know him…”

It took another ten minutes before she even reached her own cubicle and she sat down with a sigh, realizing it was the first time in forever that she wasn’t standing in her heels. She checked her makeup in her camera, seeing the lipstick was still in place.

Steve Rogers’ tongue had been in her mouth. She closed her eyes for few seconds, trying to not jump several conclusions.

She stalked out of the bathroom a couple minutes later, snatching a shot from off the bar on her way back to Steve, hearing someone squeak:

“Who the fuck was that?”

She threw back the shot of vodka, grimacing as she put down the empty glass further down the row of people. She reached Steve and grabbed him by his tie, interrupting whatever he was saying to Tony.

“Wh -?”

She cut him off with a kiss, arching her body toward his, feeling his hand reach for her waist, and she closed her eyes, deepening it. It only lasted a few seconds, but the needy push and pull of them both against one another was something Darcy knew she’d take some time to forget – if she ever managed to. She pulled away with soft smack of her lips, seeing Steve’s face had changed.

She realized her mistake. He wasn’t affected the same way as her.

“You see what I mean by warning?” she whispered, and he glanced at her mouth again with those intent blue eyes, and her stomach flipped.

Her fucking stomach fucking _flipped_. Darcy watched Steve’s throat bob as he swallowed.

“Yeah,” he whispered, his voice a low rumble. “I see what you mean.”

Darcy looked at Tony, seeing he was already talking to someone else. She let go of Steve’s tie, pulling back as she tried to rein this in and pretend she hadn’t enjoyed a second of his lips pressed to hers, his fingers digging into her side.

“I’m going to go ask for money,” she said, stepping back to look around the crowd. “Maybe bite the bullet and go find Leo, or whoever his girlfriend is…”

Steve nodded and she wanted to yell, _Stop looking at me like that_ , but she didn’t dare draw more attention to them. She didn’t want their cover blown because she couldn’t play along. She decided to do this. There were two people in this arrangement, and even less than two hours ago, he’d given her an out in the car over.

She melted into the crowd, and for the next hour, she kept at it, seeing people recognize her. She made it work. She talked about Steve and the money he was raising. She took photos, shook hands. She didn’t quite get to Leo or his girlfriend, but she managed to convince dozens of people she reached to sign some checks.

Steve found her when she was busy chatting to a Texan billionaire and his much younger wife. Darcy met his eye when he came up beside her, holding another drink.

“Captain America himself,” the Texan boomed, and Darcy watched Steve react to his obnoxious volume with his eyes widening slightly.

She grinned, watching him offer his hand to the couple before glancing at Darcy.

“You ready to go?”

“Leavin’, huh?” the Texan said, laughing heartily. “Don’t mind us…”

Darcy waved goodbye, pressing her lips together stop herself from laughing too hard, Steve’s hand on the small of her back. She covered her mouth when they were out of earshot, and then Darcy dissolved into a cackle.

“Let’s share a cab,” Steve said, and Darcy followed him outside, still giggling.

She didn’t argue – she didn’t feel as if being alone with him was a bad idea. She nodded, and he stuck out his hand, smiling at her.

“You were great,” he said, when they were in the backseat, waiting in the traffic.

“I always am,” she replied, and he chuckled.

“Yeah…”

She hung off of his arm as they walked through the lobby, and they shared the elevator up to her room in comfortable silence.

“Thank you,” he said, when the elevator stopped at her level, the doors opening.

“A compliment?” Darcy said. She’d put on her best accent, laughing loudly. “Heh, FROM CAPTAIN AMERICA HIMSELF…”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve muttered, but he was laughing, covering his eyes.

“DON’T MIND US!”

“Get _out_ ,” he said, starting to push her out the elevator and Darcy cackled. “Get out. Goodbye forever…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "good bye forever" is something I say to people when they leave and I've made an annoying joke on their way out lol...
> 
> And YES, that was a Sorkinism you spotted!
> 
> I swear to God this fic is just an excuse for me to make a bunch of dumb jokes...


	7. vii. Nothing's Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little NSFW, and a little angsty.

_I've got it on my mind to change my ways_  
_But I don't think I can be anything other than me_  
**\- "Light Me Up" by The Pretty Reckless**

**vii. Nothing's Changed**

Darcy slept well, though it took some time for her to drift off. She was still buzzing from the night, her legs and feet aching from wearing her heels for too long and not sitting down long enough.

She rolled out of bed a little after ten, after she’d got sick of scrolling endlessly through Instagram and Facebook. She was in several headlines, and by each photo of her, she knew what time of the night it was. Her makeup looked more worn off in some compared to others. There was one photo that made her stare, the one some onlooker took of Steve and her together, after they’d kissed.

She could see by the way she was still holding his tie in the photo that it was the kiss she initiated. They’d managed to capture the moment of him murmuring to her with his eyes so warm, looking at her like she was precious. She believed it, and so did everyone else, it seemed.

_God, if he looked at me like that, I’d fucking die on the spot._

Darcy poured herself some coffee and contemplated her day. Her usual Saturday consisted of sleeping in, ignoring anything to do with work and then ordering pizza. She grabbed her laptop and perused her emails, seeing a few from companies trying to ask her to endorse some products. She contemplated a teeth whitening device, before crossing out and going through more messages. She hadn’t gone shopping on Black Friday but there were still some sale items on various sites. What stuck out was the adult toys site she’d bought from a few months back when she decided to get a new vibrator.

She didn’t consider herself some kind of toy aficionado but she knew what she liked, and vibrators with three or more speeds were usually her jam. She thought about her current toy and bit her lip.

She went back to her room, getting out the toy, seeing she’d charged it recently. It was a standard silver vibrator with a twisting bottom. She lay down on her stomach, switching it on as she opened a tab on her phone to find something to watch.

Darcy had mixed feelings about porn. She liked the ones that couples made together. She considered herself sex positive, but she also knew she was pretty fussy when it came to porn, and she’d watched a lot of it over the years. She scrolled through the amateur couples, seeing a few she’d already watched before. She liked searching ‘Passionate’ usually, too.

She watched a guy eating out his partner and felt the stirring in her guts, the curiosity. She thought of someone’s mouth between her legs, licking and sucking at her while she lay back. The girl in the video was moaning too loudly for her taste so she muted it, watching the guy’s tongue swirl around, working her clit and pushing a finger inside her.

If Darcy had it her way, she’d draw this out for a long time. She liked buzzing on the precipice of her orgasm for several minutes before the final plunge. She watched another video, some kind of ultra HD type of production with a porn star whose makeup was way too perfect, her skin flawless as she jiggled, bouncing up and down on some anonymous monster cock.

She went back to the couples, seeing good old missionary up close, and she thought of the drunk guy at the bar last night.

She thought of Steve, her breath hitching as she stared at the bodies rocking together. She could picture his face in that photograph, staring at her like she was the only person in the room, the only person he’d ever known.

His tongue in her mouth the first time, and the second time when she gave it back to him, that surprise heat, the needy grasp of his fingers in her side –

“Fuck,” she hissed, and she came, her eyes losing vision as she clenched.

She came again, a blissful blended orgasm that made her feet kick. She twitched, easing off of the vibrator as she panted, forgetting about the video she had open.

She crossed out, turning onto her back. She shoved the vibrator under her pillow and sat up, sighing.

She was not doing that again. She wasn’t going to spend way too long on playing with herself when she could be doing anything else with her Saturday –

She grabbed the vibrator and switched it back on, closing her eyes.

-

She cleaned the bathroom, threw out some trash and made sure to do some laundry in the afternoon. She put on _Queer Eye_ while she tried to figure out the next week of work, the voices pleasantly filling the otherwise silent apartment.

Jane called her when she was outlining a meeting agenda and she put her phone to her ear.

“Hi.”

“Hey! How was last night?”

“Great,” Darcy said, putting on a light voice. “I met a lot of people, hopefully made some serious money –”

“You started that application yet?”

“What?” Darcy said, and then she passed her hand over her face when she remember. “Right. No, I haven’t… I’ve been busy.”

 _You’ve been busy masturbating_ , a voice in her head said.

“I’ll come over and help. You still busy now?”

Darcy wished she hadn’t had Jonathan Van Ness’ voice playing so loudly, it was a dead giveaway.

“Uh, I guess not…”

“Cool, I’ll be ten minutes.”

Darcy hung up, sighing. She checked the time and saw it was after five. She threw on some clothes and brushed her hair before Jane knocked on her door. When she let her in, Jane peered around and Darcy frowned at her.

“What are you doing?”

“Steve’s not here?” Jane asked, and Darcy shook her head.

“Why would he - ? I mean, he’s… in Brooklyn,” she replied.

Jane walked over to the couch and picked up Darcy’s laptop, opening a new Word document. Darcy went to the kitchen, putting a bottle of chardonnay in the fridge while she got a tub of hummus and some crackers.

She dumped them on a plate and walked back, seeing Jane was typing fiercely.

“Uh… what question are you on?”

“Previous experience with enhanced life forms,” Jane muttered, and Darcy made a face.

“Jesus, that’s how they describe them? Sounds so… clinical,” she said, and Jane shrugged.

“’Superhero’ sounds political.”

“It does?” Darcy said, and Jane shrugged again. “Huh.”

They worked through a few questions while Darcy grew increasingly more irritated by Jane, wishing she’d said Steve was there so she’d leave her alone about this job. She didn’t know how to tell her she didn’t want it.

It was after six when she finally got out the wine and poured them both a glass. She tried to not drink hers too fast, but she was pushing it, literally moving the glass toward Jane to make her drink while she typed.

“How many references do you have?” Jane asked, pausing to drink.

Darcy shrugged. “I dunno. You, Fury… my last job.”

“No, that won’t do,” Darcy muttered. She clicked her fingers. “Tony Stark?”

She thought of Tony full of tequila last night and she shook her head, laughing.

“Didn’t you just do a fundraiser?” Jane said. “That would sound amazing on your resumé.”

“Yeah, except it’s got nepotism written all over it. Yesterday, I signed a relationship status form with Steve. The HR rep will confirm that with the panel…”

The ridiculousness of it that she was applying for a job within the company she worked for while disclosing her fake relationship made Darcy roll her eyes.

“You seeing Steve tonight?” Jane asked, and Darcy frowned. “I mean, it’s Saturday.”

“I dunno, maybe,” Darcy mumbled. She drained her glass.

“Ask him to come over. We can finish the application together. Get pizza…”

Darcy nodded, taking out her phone. She fired off a text to Steve:

_I’m pretending to invite you to my place._

Instead of texting back, Steve called her, her phone vibrating loudly on the coffee table. Darcy grabbed it.

“Hi,” she said. She glanced at Jane, who was smiling at her from her place on the couch. “ _Baby_ … Uh, you have that _thing_ tonight, right? You’re like, totally busy…”

“I’m not busy,” Steve replied, and she could picture his little grin as he said it, too.

“You sure? I thought you’d be busy. Janey’s here –”

She moved the phone off of her ear for Jane to yell hello before pressing back.

“- and we’re hanging out…”

“I’ll come over,” he said, and she could hear him picking up his keys on his end. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to…”

“No, I’d love to.”

When they hung up, Darcy wanted to hurl her phone against the wall but instead poured herself another glass, plonking back down on the couch, averting her gaze.

“He’s on his way over,” she mumbled.

He was there in about forty minutes. Darcy let him in, moving toward him to kiss his cheek while Jane watched. She glared at Steve, and he only smiled down at her, pleased with himself.

If she wasn’t so annoyed, she’d be enjoying his outfit way more. He was wearing a flannel shirt tucked into his slacks, his sleeves pushed down to his elbows, showing off his forearms.

“Hey, Jane,” he said, and he walked over to the couch, looking at Darcy’s laptop Jane was typing on. “What are you up to?”

“Actually, can I -?” Darcy cut in, stalking over. She grabbed Steve by the elbow and tugged him away from Jane. “We’ll just be a sec…”

She shoved Steve into her bedroom, shutting the door behind them. He looked around, probably noting that her bed was unmade, with the clothes and books on the floor.

“You know, you’ve got a shelf out there in the living room?” he said, gesturing with his thumb. “Also, they’ve got these things called clothing hangers –”

Darcy glared at him, balling her hands into fists.

“Shut up!” she hissed. “Shut the fuck up! What the _fuck_ are you doing here?”

Steve bit his lip, trying not to laugh as Darcy’s tirade continued, her voice sharp whispers.

“What kind of psychopath calls instead of texting back? You invite yourself over here, why? To give me a fucking migraine?”

She waved her arms around.

“You cannot barge in here just because you had nothing better to do –”

“Wouldn’t it be weirder if I wasn’t here?” he countered, and Darcy let out a frustrated sound.

“You lie! You _just lie!_ ” she bit out. “Not everything has to be so fucking complicated! You tell people you were here! I tell people you were here! Easy!”

Before he could say anything else, she lifted a finger.

“Do _not_ do this again.”

“Sweetheart,” he said, his voice a little softer, his smile faltering. “I’ve been here a hundred times before. What’s changed?”

 _Everything changed last night_ , she thought. She thought of her vibrator that was in her bedside drawer, which was slightly open. She moved to slam it shut, huffing.

“Nothing’s changed,” she muttered.

“Come on, I’ll order pizza,” he said, and Darcy shot him a look.

“I was eating pizza whether you were here or not…”

“Alright,” he said, the smile returning.

She moved toward him and his eyebrows hiked. She tugged his shirt out of his pants, before carding a hand through his hair. She stepped back.

“What’re you -?”

“We made out,” she said, and then she walked toward the door to open it.

Steve followed her, shaking his head with the smile still on his face.

When they reached Jane again, Darcy’s boss looked like she was trying to not to smile too much. Darcy didn’t look at her, instead went into the kitchen while Steve took her place on the couch. She got him a beer and handed it to him, flopping down beside him.

“I could go,” Jane said, and Darcy glanced at her, shaking her head.

“We’re almost done,” she said, sipping more wine. She picked up her phone and opened her Dominos app, perusing the menu.

“Almost done what?” Steve asked, and Darcy looked up from her phone, blinking at Jane.

“She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Steve asked, looking toward Darcy.

“Darcy!” Jane said, sounding a little incredulous. “Why didn’t you tell him about the job?”

“It’s not a big deal!” Darcy retorted. She felt herself blush. “God, I’m probably not going to even get it…”

“What job is it?” Steve asked Jane.

“SHIELD liaison for enhanced recruitments. Basically, she’d be helping people transition into the Avengers,” Jane said.

“You’d be good at that,” Steve said, his hand coming down to squeeze her knee.

Darcy resisted the urge to slap his hand away, so annoyed that now two people were on her case.

“That’s what I keep telling her but she won’t listen,” Jane said, sounding exasperated. “Will she listen to you?”

“I dunno,” Steve said, his eyes still on Darcy. “Maybe not.”

Darcy went back to her app, ordering some pizza and garlic bread. She picked up the remote a second later to turn up the volume on the TV. She still felt watched.

When she got the alert from her phone, she went downstairs without another word, coming back with the pizzas. She threw down the food on the coffee table and took out a slice, Jane’s fingers still tapping away on her laptop.

“Are you almost done with _my_ job application?” she muttered, and Jane looked at her, frowning.

“You wouldn’t do it yourself if I left you alone,” she replied, and Darcy looked away, chewing. “I asked you about it and you’d forgotten. I was just trying to help.”

“ _I didn’t ask_ – whatever,” Darcy muttered. “Are you at least going to give it a rest for now and eat something?”

Jane put the laptop aside and the three of them ate in a tense silence while Queer Eye played. Every so often Darcy would sneak a glance at Jane and see that she wasn’t smiling, her brow furrowed while she chewed quietly.

“Darcy raised about fifty thousand dollars last night,” Steve said quietly.

Darcy was in the middle of sipping her wine and almost choked, coughing as she put her glass down, Steve’s hand going to soothe her back and she managed to reply as Jane’s eyes widened.

“Are you… fucking serious?” she gasped, and Steve nodded.

“Yeah,” he said.

His hand was still rubbing her and it felt good. She didn’t want it to.

“I think you should go for that job,” he added, and she tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. “Even when you give me that look…”

“Yeah, I know that look, too,” Jane muttered.

“What look?” Darcy snapped. “What’s the look I’m giving?”

“The ‘you’re not my real dad’ look,” Steve said, his hand slipping away.

“Think you know me or something?” she muttered, but she was smirking.

Despite how annoyed she’d been, she knew she was less upset with him there between herself and Jane. By now they would have fought and maybe Darcy would be already be thinking of a proper apology. She knew everyone meant well.

Steve moved off of the couch with his empty beer bottle and both women watched him go.

“He really cares about you,” Jane whispered, and Darcy met her eye, swallowing. “When you went to get the pizza… I can tell he’s had it bad for a while.”

Jane had no frame of reference. She’d only known Darcy to have Ian in her life, and that was a mess. Jane held her gaze and Darcy felt her stomach flip.

“I won’t fuck it up,” Darcy whispered. She chose her words carefully, knowing that in all likelihood Steve could hear them from the kitchen with his superior hearing.

When he returned, she couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t look at Jane, either, not until her eyes stopped stinging.

She shoved more pizza in her mouth like it was a pacifier, staring straight ahead at the TV screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The jerk-off trope! It happened!
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	8. viii. Brooklyn-Bound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these fucking IDIOTS in love... ❤

_So how could I ever refuse_   
_I feel like I win when I lose_

**\- "Waterloo" by ABBA**

**viii. Brooklyn-Bound**

When Darcy woke the next morning she popped some Tylenol and switched on the TV, walking into the kitchen to make some coffee.

She was scrolling through Facebook when she saw a link to a video titled _Steve Rogers’ Mystery Girl,_ and being who she was, she was unable to stop her curiosity from getting the best of her. The thumbnail of the video featured Steve wearing his Captain America gear from 2012, and then a picture of her from Instagram that was at least a couple years old.

She projected it onto the TV screen as she sat down, putting her feet up on the coffee table as she sipped her mug.

_“New couple alert! For the first time ever Steve Rogers aka Captain America has been showing off his new girlfriend Darcy Lewis. They were spotted mingling and conoodling up a storm this past Friday during a Stark Foundation Gala at the Brubaker Metropolitan Art Gallery. The main question on our lips – who the heck is Darcy Lewis?”_

Darcy couldn’t help it, she didn’t want to look away. It was bizarre, hearing her name on someone’s lips, knowing she was being talked about with so many people watching. She always wanted to hear gossip about herself in middle school. She went by unnoticed usually.

_“Since Steve Rogers outed their relationship during a press conference this week, fans have been eagerly digging up what they can about Miss Lewis. Turns out she’s a Culver University graduate working in Avengers Tower. The twenty-five year-old is rumored to already closing in on matrimony with the star-spangled hunk.”_

Darcy wondered who came to that conclusion, and maybe it was like the governor’s wife who suggested Steve stopping her from working. The host on screen turned to a little panel featuring two other people, all of them grinning with excitement.

“ _Bobby, what do you think of Darcy Lewis?”_

_“I think she’s just great. This is a beautiful, adorable Christmas love story. It’s what we need, right? After a year like this one. You want to hear about people falling in love –”_

_“I heard Tinder got a massive spike of activity within hours of Rogers telling that press conference about her,”_ said a woman beside Bobby, a blonde skinny woman Darcy thought resembled the girls she’d met at the gala in line for the bathroom.

 _“That might not be related, though,”_ the original host said with a chuckle. _“Could just be people wanting to find someone before the year is out. New year, new man, maybe?”_

 _“Or woman,”_ Bobby interjected, and they all chuckled. _“It’s a couple that inspires all types of orientations. I mean, look at her. She’s so- so –”_

 _“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘quirky’,”_ the blonde said, laughing. _“She’s like… I don’t know how to say it…”_

They were showing a series of photos from the gala, ones featuring Darcy grinning from ear to ear, her gap showing between her front teeth.

_“She reminds me of like, your friend’s kid sister, right? Kind of girl-next-door, very…”_

_“I like her!”_ Bobby said, putting a hand to his chest. _“Really. She’s college educated, I was hearing people say she was so nice during their first appearance together. She could’ve just sat back and let her man talk –”_

“Ha!” Darcy said.

 _“There’s one photo I can’t… I mean, it feels like Twitter was having a mental breakdown over it –”_ the host began, and both the blonde and Bobby began to react to the picture that materialized on the screen.

It was the one that Darcy more or less go off to in her mind’s eye, the intense staring one, her hand gripping Steve’s tie.

 _“I love this!”_ Bobby said. _“And it reminds me of another photograph, if we can get it up, yeah, there it is…”_

A different photo, black and white. It was aged, but Steve looked the same age. The person he faced was Peggy Carter.

_“This was taken after he liberated prisoners in Italy during the war –”_

_“Wow, Bobby…”_

_“Thanks, I got an A on my project in middle school, I’d like to think that knowledge carried over into my career…”_

_“I see a lot of similarities with these two women,”_ the host said, waving her hand. _“They’re both brunette –”_

 _“I think that’s all they’ve got in common, honestly,”_ the blonde cut in. _“No offense to Darcy Lewis, but I think Steve Rogers has a type, and it’s cute and brunette.”_

Darcy had seen that photo countless times before. The Liberation of the Allied Prisoners of War in 1943 was one of the most widely covered events of Steve’s military career, because it was the first time he had broken free of his chorus girl days, showing the full brunt of his powers Erskine gave him.

She hadn’t thought of the photograph in the context of comparing herself to Peggy, and now she couldn’t ignore it. It was her fault, watching the stupid video. She paused the clip, staring at the way Steve looked at Peggy, and she could see – he was absorbed by her completely. They were so in love, and if memory served – it took a little while longer for Steve and Peggy to admit feelings for one another.

She switched off her TV, thinking back over the past week. Maybe she needed to rest her anxiety somehow, focus on the tasks at hand. It was a big deal that she managed to raise that much money for Steve. She needed to remember exactly why she was doing this – to get his message out there, and to stop herself from making bad mistakes with men.

She picked up her phone and pressed it to her ear.

“Hello?”

“You’re taking me out for breakfast,” she said, and she heard Steve chuckle.

She could play the annoying little friend he dealt with. She didn’t need to be more than that, and she needed to respect what had already come before her.

“I don’t want to say you owe me, but… you kinda do,” she went on.

She walked back into her bedroom, looking around for a pair of clean jeans. She picked up the ones she wore a couple days ago and inspected them with a sniff.

“Can I at least pick where we go?”

“Sure,” she said. “Brooklyn-bound, am I?”

“Yeah. It’s about time.”

She smiled. “Okay. Text me an address and I’ll be there soon.”

Nothing had to change.

-

She didn’t think anyone really recognized her on the train. Everyone seemed to be in their own world, and she was fine with that. She adjusted her beanie and tried to not think too much about the video she watched.

She liked that that guy Bobby seemed to be on her side…

She spotted him standing outside the dinner with his hands in his pockets, and she shivered as she scurried over, smiling at him.

“Hey,” he said, returning that smile with his own.

He moved to open the door for her and she ducked in, thankful that it was at least twenty degrees warmer inside. It had snowed again last night and the air was icy. She tugged off her beanie and her scarf, looking around at the booths. A waitress came over, lifting her chin.

“You again, huh?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “Can’t seem to stay away.”

“Good,” the waitress said with a grin. “Go sit down, I’ll grab ya some menus.”

Steve showed Darcy to a booth adjacent to the window overlooking the street. Darcy tugged off her coat when she slipped into the seat opposite him. It was relatively busy but sort of quiet, people eating and talking quietly. When the waitress handed them their laminated menus, Darcy could see it was a pretty standard breakfast menu, nothing too fancy like the other places in Brooklyn she’d been to. Gentrification seemed to have avoided this diner so far.

“We’re fresh outta the blueberry pancake special, they’ve been sellin’ like… well, you can probably guess,” she said, shrugging at her little joke. “Otherwise everythin’s still there.”

“Thanks,” Steve said, and they were left alone.

“I’m guessing you’ve memorized the menu,” Darcy said, and he looked at her, a smirk forming. “So you don’t have to check what you’d like –”

“Bacon and scrambled eggs and wholewheat toast,” he said, and Darcy grinned. “What can I say? I’m a growing boy.”

“Yeah, maybe your legs are hallow,” Darcy said, and he chuckled. She glanced at her menu, perusing the options. “I feel like something sweet.”

“Chocolate chip pancakes are good,” Steve murmured, and she glanced up, smiling. “Since you’ve got a helluva sweet tooth…”

“Pot calling the kettle black,” Darcy whispered.

He laughed again. He seemed to be in high spirits. She shut her menu, pushing it aside. When their waitress returned, Steve ordered himself the pancakes as well.

Darcy ate with gusto, trying to stay in the moment and just enjoy herself. It was pretty easy to get swept up in the good feelings Steve was having.

“Fifty thousand dollars, huh?” she said, shoving a forkful of pancakes into her mouth. “What can’t I do?”

“Well, I’ve got… I’m outta town tomorrow, maybe,” he said, and she swallowed, frowning.

“Mission?”

“Yeah,” he replied, and he cleared his throat. “But… y’know, I’ll be back. Hopefully it’s short.”

“Sorta hoped crime would take a break over the holidays, too,” Darcy muttered, putting down her cutlery. She sat back, dabbing her mouth with her napkin. “So that’s the thing I can’t do – stop HYDRA or whoever?”

“I think given half a chance, you could,” Steve said, and Darcy smiled. “But there’s the rules…”

“Those pesky fucking rules,” Darcy said, shaking her head.

She mirrored his infectious smile, both of them forgetting their food for a couple minutes. Darcy picked up her mug and sipped her coffee, looking out the window.

“You got a calendar I can work with?” she said, her eyes swinging back to meet his.

He got out his phone and passed it to her.

“My passcode is –”

“Let me try and guess, this might be fun,” Darcy murmured, and Steve’s eyebrows quirked. “I know I’m not a spy, but I’d like to think being around them has made me more motivated to use my wits for this type of hacking…”

“It’s not really hacking–”

“Shh,” she said, and Steve chuckled.

She squinted at him, before ducking her gaze back to his phone’s display.

“Now, it wouldn’t be something as obvious as your birthday, or birth year…”

“No,” he murmured, picking up his coffee mug and sipping.

“Not… the year the war ended,” she said, glancing to read his face. He was smiling quietly, but not giving anything away. “And I know you’re a dinosaur, but you’re not dumb enough to have your smartphone’s password be something like 1,2,3,4…”

She pursed her lips, before punching out 2012 with her thumb.

“The year you were found – oh.”

She was still locked out, with two attempts left.

“Then what…?”

“Give it back, before you lock me out for the next ten years,” he said, and she handed him his phone. He unlocked it, holding it up so she couldn’t see what he typed in.

“Slight exaggeration,” Darcy muttered.

She was handed back his phone and saw he still had the factory default background. She opened his calendar and began scrolling through.

“Toy drive?” She read aloud. “Is that with the Stark Foundation?”

“No, that’s – that’s the hospital,” he said. “Actually, it’s three hospitals, one day. It’s a big day. I did it last year.

“It’ll get more coverage if I’m there with you,” Darcy said. “More toys for the kids, more donations… yeah, that could work.”

“Thanks,” he said.

“Hey, don’t do that,” she said, waving him off. “I’m doing this so in the next life I don’t come back as a stinkbug or something.”

“You’re at least a house cat right now, sweetheart,” Steve retorted, and Darcy shot him a look. “That’s a step up from a stinkbug.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“They have nine lives,” he added, and Darcy shrugged a shoulder. “But… thank you. You’ve already done so much…”

“I’m sure if you put an ad out for a fake girlfriend, there’d be a line out the Tower and down the block,” she murmured, thumbing through more dates. “And you won’t be thanking me when I drag you to meet my mom.”

Steve blinked. “Your -?”

“What, too much?” Darcy said, looking up again to inspect him.

“No, just… you haven’t mentioned your ma before,” he murmured.

She wasn’t sure where to begin, because nothing ever sounded that great about her home life. She glanced away, shrugging.

“She… doesn’t understand my job and I don’t have much in common with her, so it’s weird, but if you’re there, she’d appreciate it. _I’d_ … appreciate it.”

“What’s her name?” he murmured, and Darcy blinked at him.

“Rose. Rosie.”

“Rosie,” he repeated, quietly smiling again.

He paid for their meal and Darcy walked ahead of him out the door, glancing down when he grabbed her hand.

“That movie pick I owe you?” he said, clasping her tight. “You still haven’t collected…”

It was true. Last night after the pizza, Jane had taken off, and then Steve followed soon after. Darcy spent the rest of her evening re-watching episodes of _Doctor Who_ , staring wistfully at the Doctor and Rose Tyler.

She tried not to read into it, because by now people were noticing who they were, onlookers in the diner staring when they walked out the door.

Darcy took a step closer to Steve, seeing the breath in front of his face. The trek back in the cold was definitely more unappealing than being alone with him. So far she’d been fine.

She thought of Peggy then and told herself to relax. This was a man who’d kissed her a few times, but always with an audience. And now he was holding her hand in the cold while people took pictures, maybe alerted _TMZ_ …

“Okay,” Darcy said. “Let’s go.”

They walked back to his place, their hands dropping to their sides when they approached his building.

“No-one comin’?” he whispered, and Darcy glanced around, shaking her head.

He unlocked his door by placing his thumb to a hidden little pad in wall beside the doorknob. There was a click, and then he took out a key to unlock it again, pushing it open.

Darcy moved inside, rubbing her hands together. It was cold inside, and Steve moved into the living room, picking up a remote for the heater.

“I usually put on an extra layer when I’m cold…”

“I didn’t know you even got cold,” Darcy muttered, and he chuckled.

“It’s been known to happen,” he murmured, pressing a couple buttons. “It’ll take a second. You want coffee?”

“Yeah,” Darcy said, and he disappeared, leaving her in the living room, shivering.

He returned a few minutes later, passing her a blanket and a mug. She managed to drape it around her and sit down, still shaking from the cold.

“Sorry,” he whispered, and he began rubbing her shoulders.

“It’s okay,” she whispered back. Their hushed conversation felt overwhelmingly intimate and she felt herself blush.

She cut the tension she felt inside by lifting her arms to rub his shoulders, too. It only made them chuckle, because he was already really warm in his flannel shirt.

“Whoa, this is crazy soft,” she murmured, feeling the texture. “Where’d you get this?”

“Uh, I got it online, Sam showed me,” he said.

Darcy kept sweeping her hands down his arms, absorbed, before placing her palms on his chest and gliding them down.

He was built like a tank. She already knew that, but hadn’t explored that thoroughly. She dropped her hands to his sides to try and see just how small his waist was.

He jumped, his hand gripping her wrist, and Darcy’s eyes snapped to his.

“Steve… are you _ticklish_?”

Steve blinked, his eyes not focusing on her eyes. “No.”

He took too long to answer, giving himself away.

“Do _not_ –”

She dug her fingers into his sides, wriggling them between his ribs and he let out a sound like a groan, pushing her off easily, his eyes bright. Darcy giggled at her discovery.

“Right,” he said, and he let go of her, retaliating with his own hands grabbing her sides.

Darcy began to squirm, her laughter filling the room, Steve’s tickling merciless.

“No, please, stop – stop, stop, stop!”

She was screeching by the time he ceased, both of them giggling, Darcy out of breath.

“You asshole,” she whispered, and he laughed.

The moment that passed between them that followed was taut, Steve’s gaze ducking as he moved back, and Darcy pulled the blanket back around her, picking up her coffee. He picked up the TV remote, offering it to her.

“Your pick,” he murmured. “As promised.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was a Ed Brubaker reference, you're right
> 
> also I'm quoting ABBA because I really don't give a fuck
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	9. ix. Lil' Cap

_Your heart's a mess_   
_You won't admit to it_   
_It makes no sense_   
_But I'm desperate to connect_   
_And you, you can't live like this_   
**\- "Heart's a Mess" by Gotye**

**ix. Lil' Cap**

“You thinking about him?”

“Huh?” Darcy blurted, turning her head toward Jane. She frowned, then her words registered after a couple seconds’ delay. “Oh, no. I mean, yeah. I am.”

She was thinking of Steve but she didn’t want to be. She was meant to be working. What Jane didn’t know of course what that she wasn’t thinking of him with a lovesick, yearning type of way when you miss the person you’re most attached to. She’d seen Jane that way many times. The roles being reversed was weird for several reasons, of course the main one being that it was all an illusion and Jane wasn’t aware of that particularly important detail.

“When’s he back?”

“This afternoon, I thought,” Darcy muttered, turning back to her paper and flipping it over, trying to remember where she got up to before she was distracted. “Though he doesn’t know for sure, either.”

She woke to a voice memo he sent her sometime in the night. She wished she’d forbid him to engage that way, but then he’d ask why. He was under the impression that they were friends and their boundaries – or lack thereof – hadn’t changed, and Darcy wasn’t about to mess it up because she couldn’t get a grip on herself.

She’d listened to the voice memo probably thirteen times. She knew it off by heart, not that it was earth-shattering in its revelation. It wasn’t even that deeply interesting, she just missed him badly and it was a comfort.

All he’d said was: _“I saw this cat sitting in a window and it looked at me like you do when I mention how things used to be back in my day. It was pissed off and cute, and I miss you. Anyway, I’ll come find you when I get back.”_

He’d been gone for most of the week and she was a mess, quietly bullying herself into submission, but really all she wanted was him to be back so she didn’t have to worry about him. She got this sometimes before their fake relationship, but back then she hadn’t kissed him, and she hadn’t known what it felt like to be _kissed_ by _him_.

She’d left his place the other day after they watched _The Lion King_ with a stupid grin on her face because he liked the movie, laughed out loud at some of it and hadn’t looked at his watch the entire time. He’d left for the mission the next morning with a short text of ‘I’m going’.

“Two weeks out from Christmas,” Jane muttered, shaking her head. “Can’t believe how fast the year has gone.”

“Yeah, I sneeze and it’s December,” Darcy added, highlighting a name. “I have about ten thousand things to do, plus that job –”

“Did you hear back yet?” Jane cut in.

“Applications closed yesterday, Jane,” she said, laughing a little. “Maybe you should ask if you’re so keen…”

“Steve’s right, you’d be really good at it,” Jane said, and Darcy narrowed her eyes. “Raising all that money, and being his girlfriend?”

“How is that considered an attribute?” Darcy muttered, rolling her eyes. “That’s like saying ‘good job’ to Amal Clooney for managing to marry George when she’s a successful person in her own right –”

“Oh, come on,” Jane said, but she wasn’t truly annoyed. “You’re talking to a woman in a STEM. I know all about that. How many people pester me about Thor instead of asking me what I’m working on as a freaking astrophysicist?”

It made Darcy smirk when her boss failed to cuss in front of her.

“And Amal worked on the Enron case, for crying out loud –”

“Where is Thor these days, anyway?” Darcy said airily, and Jane tilted her head, rolling her eyes. “Will he be strolling in with a bottle of Asgardian brandy like last year? You must know, as his girlfriend, which is ALL you’re known for…”

“Fame is… complicated,” Jane said, making a face. “I have been able to get my place at certain tables because of my research –”

“Oh, my God,” Darcy said, laughing, on the brink of incredulity. “Fame is _not_ complicated. You’re either famous or you’re not, and most likely you’re an attention attractor with no talent, overpaid and underwhelming to society.”

“Stephen Hawking –”

“You can’t mention one of the most famous scientists to make your point,” Darcy interjected. “I was offered three separate brand deals this week all around skinny tea.”

“I hate to ask what the hell skinny tea is...”

“It’s basically meant to give you dysentery,” Darcy said, holding up a hand. “People want me to advertise this tea that makes you shit yourself to my teenage followers. They want me to give literal children eating disorders. Fuck consumerism…”

Darcy let out a huff, losing her place again on the paper. She sighed.

“I’m supposed to go by a bunch of presents for kids tonight,” she muttered.

Jane began to laugh.

-

There was a knock on their door and Darcy turned her head to see Steve slip inside, his hand up.

He had smudges of dirt on his pretty face, a gash under his eye, a split lip and his hair was sticking up. The way he smiled at her made Darcy delay for a whole second before she rose from her chair, racing toward him.

He hugged her tight and she felt her stomach flip, pulling back to look him in the eye. She held is face in her hands, scanning him for any more injuries.

“Hey,” she breathed, and he smiled.

“Hey,” he replied.

“You came back…”

“My phone died,” he whispered. “Is it okay I came down?”

“Yeah…”

Darcy remembered Jane was there and took a step back, glancing her boss’ way. Jane was looking at them from her spot by the whiteboard, a knowing smirk on her face.

“Hey, Jane,” Steve said.

The voice he used for her was entirely different, his usually friendly, polite one but it was edged with his obvious exhaustion.

He looked back at Darcy, and she grabbed his hand for a second to squeeze it.

“I’m… wrecked,” he whispered.

“Go nap, I’ll come by after work,” she replied, and he nodded, rubbing his eyes. She pushed a hand to his chest, her other hand leaving his to grab the door handle.

He backed up, smiling at her.

“And shower,” she added, and he chuckled.

“Yes, ma’am.”

When he left, she sighed, watching him go to the elevator. She knew she was in trouble. She just hoped she’d be able to keep herself in check for a little while longer.

-

Steve jumped up onto the cart as he careened down the aisle behind her, halting when he got close enough to nearly hit her.

Darcy was tempted to whip out her phone and record him goofing around, but the second Steve met her gaze he hopped off, looking around, acting as if he hadn’t been acting like a literal kid in a toy store.

Darcy grabbed a tea set off a wall, tapping a finger on it.

“This is the good shit,” she said, and she tossed the set into the cart. “Anything with _Frozen_ on it.”

“Yeah, I learned that last year,” Steve murmured, looking around.

Darcy heard him hop up on the cart again and she smirked, plucking a set of Elsa and Anna dolls off the shelf. She glanced behind her and he was peering at all the toys, shaking his head.

“So much plastic… whatever happened to teddy bears?”

“Oh, there’s a whole aisle dedicated to those,” Darcy said, and he tilted his head. “We better get some Batman-themed stuff, too…”

“What was the best toy you could get when you were a kid?” he asked, and Darcy blinked.

She looked away, shrugging. “I… guess it depends on the age.”

“Okay, then… what was the best toy you ever got growin’ up?” he asked.

Darcy hopped onto the cart and he began to push her. She looked around at the dolls.

“A Cabbage Patch doll. I got one and named them Amber, but I insisted it was a boy,” she said. “Smelt of baby powder. What about you?”

“Yo-yo,” he said, and Darcy’s eyebrows hiked. He shook his head. “It was the best thing for me. I couldn’t go outside a lot of the time. I drove my ma crazy playin’ with that thing day and night…”

Darcy tried to imagine it, Steve as a child. He would’ve been adorable.

“You were sick a lot as a kid,” she said, and he nodded.

They’d talked about it before, but only briefly. Steve didn’t seem to like the subject, and Darcy could tell there were some nasty memories associated with him being bedridden.

“Not like these kids we’re visiting tomorrow,” he said, his gaze averted.

“I somehow find that hard to believe,” Darcy said, narrowing her eyes.

They turned a corner and Darcy put a few bouncy balls in the cart, walking beside Steve.

“How many times did you try to enlist?”

“... many times,” he murmured.

“You were very sick,” Darcy said, folding her arms. “You’re telling me the most you could exert yourself with as a kid was a yo-yo, and I’m just supposed to pretend that not a big deal -?”

“You want me to list of every ailment?” he muttered. He stopped walking, the cart pausing. “Hmm?”

“Wouldn’t hurt you,” she said. “But you don’t have to.”

“I had bad lungs, a bad heart, RF, stomach ulcers, partial deafness, scoliosis, anemia…”

Darcy’s eyes widened. He went down the list as they kept on walking and Darcy tried not to visibly react, especially when he looked right at her again and winked.

“And I had flat feet.”

“So you were never going to be in the Olympics,” Darcy said, and he shrugged. “I know it’s not as simple as that, you had chronic pain and could’ve died.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Many times. My ma was a nurse, that’s how we managed to asthma. My anemia was harder to deal with, and the RF –”

“What is RF?”

“Rheumatic fever,” he said.

“So basically anything bad that you could have… you had,” she said, and Steve gave a short laugh. “Dude, how are you alive?”

“Liver juice, inhalers…”

“No, really,” she said, and Steve frowned. “I understand the serum cured you of all that, but the fact that you made it to your twenties…”

She shut her mouth abruptly, shaking her head.

“I’m being tactless.”

“It’s okay,” Steve said. “Y’know, growing up, people wrote me off. I was always sick, I tried my best to push past it. I coped okay.”

“I’m… so sorry,” she said.

“It’s fine. I mean, without eugenics, I guess there’d be no… serum, and then no…”

He went quieter, sighing.

“No me now, I guess.”

There was a silence between them and Darcy felt her stomach twist with shame. She should have kept the conversation light, not been incredibly rude as always. She could make fun of him for being old, that seemed fair game, but everything else…

He was disabled growing up. He lived in a world where being different meant absence, absence from society, absence from a normal life, absence from happiness.

“What was it like, after the serum? After…”

After Erskine died, she thought, and she saw the thought pass over Steve’s face as well.

“I was starvin’. Never been so hungry in my whole life,” he said, a smile forming. “Kept knocking into shit, I wasn’t used to being this big lug…”

Darcy smiled. “We would’ve got on well back then. Before the serum, I mean.”

They were down the teddy bear aisle now and Darcy grabbed a red one with a plastic candy cane sewn onto its paw.

“I would’ve liked you,” she said, and he looked down at her as she squeezed the teddy bear, feeling its soft fur under her hands.

“I would’ve liked you, too,” he murmured.

She put the bear into the cart and Steve moved closer to her, stooping slightly, and Darcy couldn’t help herself. She began to giggle.

“I was more… this height,” he said.

Their eyes were more or less level and Darcy grinned. She looked away, her eyes gravitating to something red, blue and white behind Steve.

“Oh, my God!”

She dove for the toy, holding it up for Steve to see, and he stood up straight, his eyebrows hiking.

“It’s a Lil’ Cap Bear!” she squealed. “I always wanted one of these…”

The toy was soft and squishy, a caramel colored teddy bear wearing a Captain America suit, complete with the mask and plastic shield.

“You know you know me, right?” Steve said, and Darcy squeezed the toy.

“But this one’s _fluffy_ …”

She kept cooing and Steve shook his head, moving the cart once more. Darcy stroked the bear as she walked behind the cart, grabbing a couple more bears to throw onto their hoard.

“That what you want for Christmas?” he asked, and Darcy attention was drawn away from her new friend, her brows furrowing.

“You don’t have to get me anything.”

“Why not?” he said.

“You’ll… expect me to give it back when we break up or whatever,” she said, and he made a face.

“What? I wouldn’t do that,” he said, shaking his head.

“And I’m just supposed to keep a Captain America-themed teddy bear in my apartment for everyone to see, while they know we’re kaput?”

“I would have thought we’d be friends,” Steve muttered. “I don’t think people would be that heartbroken about it.”

“You’re telling me Sam wouldn’t give you a hard time about it?” Darcy said, and she tossed Lil’ Cap into the cart. “I know you heard what I said to Jane the other day.”

“Why would she need to know you weren’t going to… ‘fuck it up’?” Steve deflected.

Darcy glanced at the ceiling, groaning.

“Because my track record is for shit and I have a terrible taste in men? I found out Ian has had a girlfriend for some time now. During our… last encounter.”

Steve shook his head, glancing away. “Jackass…”

Darcy didn’t like how invested Steve seemed in this, so she looked behind them, pretending she’d just remembered something.

“I’m going to get a couple Barbie things, I’ll meet you at the register.”

Steve blinked. “You sure? I might get lost.”

They both knew he wouldn’t. It was his way of saying he didn’t want her to leave because she was uncomfortable.

Darcy gave a loud sigh, diving into the cart to pick up Lil' Cap again and hug him to her chest as she felt back into step beside Steve.

“Ian’s a stupid son of a bitch,” Steve said, and Darcy shot him a look. “What? He is.”

“And I’m just as dumb for going back to him every time,” she muttered. “Go on, tell me it’s not my fault, too. And now, I’m pretending to date my friend because…?”

“I asked you to,” Steve said, and she made a face. “I instigated this.”

“I was a willing participant,” she amended.

She threw more toys into the cart and Steve took a second, taking out his phone. She frowned when he held it up.

“I want a picture,” he said.

“Why?” she mumbled, pouting with Lil’ Cap in her arms. “I’m… surly.”

“No, you’re cute,” he said, and Darcy felt her stomach flip, but her frown deepened. “Especially when you’re pissed off like that. I want a picture of you with the goddamn bear…”

Darcy tried not to laugh and failed, looking at his phone while Steve smiled behind the camera.

“There you go.”

She watched him go quiet, pressing on his screen. She moved closer, watching him make his background the picture he just took.

He put his phone away and looked down at Lil’ Cap.

“But I ain't gettin’ you the bear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, we have hospital visits and adorable children!  
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	10. x. You're So Old

_Build a wall_   
_Build a fortress around my heart_   
_Oh my god_   
_Oh you think I'm in control_   
_Oh my god_   
_Oh you think it's all for fun_   
**\- "Oh My God" by Ida Maria**

**x. You're So Old**

“Reverse. Skip, skip, draw four.”

Darcy was laughing by the end of her turn, clapping her hands. She could see Steve’s mouth open in surprise as she decimated him. She glanced at Justin, the kid whose bed they sat at, and he was giggling back at her.

“That’s mean,” Steve said, and he picked up the cards they threw back into the pile, scooping them up to shuffle them. “You gotta let someone else win sometime soon.”

“Where's the fun in that?” Darcy said, shrugging. She leaned closer to Justin and squeezed his little hand. “Justin gets it.”

“Yeah,” he said, looking at Steve. “Just ‘cause I’m sick doesn’t mean you have to take it easy on me…”

“I think he’s really trying, that’s the sad part,” Darcy said, cackling, and Steve sighed extravagantly, beginning to deal more.

This was the last of the three hospitals they were visiting for the day, and the pack of Uno cards they got for Justin were already worth the trip to the store yesterday. Justin was one of the pre-teens who wouldn’t be impressed by _Frozen_ , but he wasn’t well enough to be playing with any of the Nerf guns they brought, either.

Steve looked at Abby, the nurse who was assigned to supervise their visit. Some parents were hanging around to watch, as well as other kids whose curiosity got the better of them. Fortunately, the press was not allowed to intrude in the children’s ward. They were waiting in the hospital foyer for when they’d emerge.

“We got time for one more game?” he asked, and Abby grinned, nodding.

“Sure, absolutely,” she said, and she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Darcy couldn’t help noticing her blushing, simply because it was so obvious, but if Steve took any note of it, he wasn’t letting on.

He picked up his cards, winking at Justin.

“Why don’t we team up to beat her?” he said, and Justin grinned.

“No way,” he said, laughing. “I want to beat Captain America again.”

“Alright,” Steve said, making a show of staring at his cards. “I’ll go first. Bam.”

“Yellow, huh?” Darcy said, taking way too long for her turn. “Reverse.”

“Shoot,” Steve whispered, and she and Justin began to laugh.

They played the last game, Justin beating them, and Darcy cheered, giving him a high-five, and she and Steve posed for one last photo.

They moved onto the next kid and started the process again, photos and hearing stories. It was incredible what these kids had gone through with a smile still on their face. More than a few times, Darcy felt her chin quiver with emotion, especially with the kids that weren’t sure about making it until next Christmas. She hugged them tight and squeezed their hands, conspired with them against Steve and he was a good sport about it always.

She knew it was a strange contrast, Steve dressed as Captain America minus the mask and shield while she wore a red cashmere sweater and black jeans with pointed boots.

Steve did a lot of signing of casts and toys, while Darcy handed him presents.

“Thank you,” said one little girl, her voice so small that Darcy could only make out what she was saying by reading her lips. She sat on her mom’s knee, her thumb back in her mouth a second later.

“What’s your name?” Darcy asked, leaning down so their eyes were level.

“Jane,” her mom said, as Jane had gone pink and tried to hide in her mother’s shirt.

Darcy burst into a smile. “My best friend’s name is Jane. It’s a beautiful name… I hope you have a Merry Christmas, Janey.”

Jane glanced at her, nodding. Her mom beamed.

“You two are…” her words failed her and Darcy reached out to touch her shoulder, rubbing it. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Darcy whispered, shaking her head. “You need anything –”

She took out a card from her pocket, writing her number on the back.

“My extension at work,” she murmured. She capped her pen, pressing the card into the woman’s hand. “She gonna be here for Christmas?”

Jane’s mother nodded, putting the card aside.

“Chemo… she’s spent more time here than at home this year.”

“I’ll make sure you get a Christmas dinner either way, okay?” Darcy whispered, and the woman nodded.

“You’re too nice.”

“I’m not,” Darcy said, shaking her head. “You’re being nice letting me do this.”

Little Janey waved goodbye and Darcy stood up, sensing Steve behind her.

“We finishing up?” she murmured, and he nodded.

They waved to everyone, walking out together with Abby. Darcy noted again the way she lit up every time Steve spoke. Darcy adjusted her bag strap on her shoulder as they walked out into a corridor.

She asked for a bathroom and Abby pointed down the direction the way they came in earlier and Darcy nodded. She walked out, hearing her and Steve talking.

She checked her face in the mirror and reapplied some lipstick, anticipating the crowd downstairs. She wanted to get her wording perfect for her statement. The point of this wasn’t to make herself or Steve look good, it was for the hospital and the kids that weren’t so well off.

She was tired. The first half an hour at the first hospital, she was sure she’d be awkward, but it was easy to be Steve’s sidekick of sorts. She took over easily because she was like the anti-authority figure to Steve’s Captain America.

When she walked back to Steve and Abby, she saw them both laughing, less space between them. She pressed her lips together, and Steve saw her, and she had no choice but to move closer.

“This was… I mean, you’ve made their year,” Abby said, and Darcy smiled back at her. “Thank you so much…”

“It’s our pleasure,” Steve said, and she grinned wider.

Darcy felt like a fly on the wall, picking up the empty bags that were filled before with toys for the kids. She handed a couple to Steve.

“Santa’s more than happy to contribute,” she murmured.

Abby bid them goodbye at the elevator and Darcy watched Steve’s face as she left, trying to catch him stare at her ass or something obvious, but he turned his eyes away almost instantly. They walked into the elevator, pressing a button for the foyer. A couple families came in with them, the air charged. Darcy felt very seen.

“Good day,” Steve murmured, and Darcy nodded.

The elevator was stopping at each floor, both of them pressed against the back wall of the car as people came in and out. They were finally alone and Darcy glanced up at him.

“Y’know, when we’re broken up you could come back here and get Abby’s number,” she said.

Steve’s expression seemed to change and he blinked, a frown forming. He pushed off slightly from the wall, looking away.

“Why would I do that?”

“I think I just said why,” Darcy murmured. “But in case you missed it – to get Abby’s number so you can go out with her.”

He glanced at the ceiling, shaking his head.

“Why? Why would you do that?” he murmured, and Darcy tilted her head.

“I’m –”

He looked straight at her. “So you want to set a date for that? The break-up? Want me to add it to my calendar?”

Darcy’s lips parted, and she didn’t know what to say. His whole demeanor had changed, when moments ago he seemed so happy.

“I’m sorry, but I’m being realistic,” she said, her voice sharper. “What is your problem?”

“What’s your problem?” he threw back, and Darcy felt herself bristle.

They stared at one another until Darcy glanced away, crossing her arms.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Good.”

“Good,” she snapped back.

“I’m glad,” Steve muttered.

The doors opened and Darcy dropped her arms, remembering the press outside. They walked out, the group of reporters beginning to swarm.

“Where to now, Cap?”

“Home,” he replied, and it was the first time that Darcy noticed he was tired. He glanced at Darcy and she nodded at the reporter, a man holding a phone to record their voices.

“Yeah, home,” she said, smiling. “Big day. It was lovely being welcomed by staff and families. We encourage everyone to visit the New York-Wide Toy Drive. They are accepting donations up until the end of the month, not just Christmas. Thank you, thank you so much.”

She didn’t intend to answer any more questions but they were still fired at them both.

“Cap, how did Darcy go with the kids?”

Steve looked at the woman who asked. “Really good. Excuse me.”

He sidestepped someone and Darcy was right behind him.

“You thinking about having kids?”

Darcy realized the question was directed at her and she smiled again, trying to think of something vague.

“I’m… sure I’ve thought about it,” she replied, and some of the reporters laughed while Steve didn’t react at all, pushing through the revolving doors, leaving Darcy behind.

“Thanks again, guys,” she said, and she rose a hand to wave before ducking into the revolving doors.

She moved up behind him, feeling the bitter cold hit her in the afternoon air and she shivered, watching him raise a hand to hail a cab.

“Thanks for that,” she said.

“You were handling yourself just fine,” he said, without looking at her.

A taxi pulled up and he moved to open the back seat door, but Darcy stayed still. She looked behind, seeing the reporters were still hanging around the hospital, some of them pouring out into the street.

“Darce.”

She whipped her head around, seeing Steve looking at her expectantly.

“Come on.”

She didn’t want to. She wished she could get the next one without raising suspicions. She thought about kissing him goodbye, to make sure if anyone was watching them that things were visibly fine between them, but she didn’t want to kiss him.

All she did was narrow her eyes before pushing past him to dive into the backseat. When the cab left the curb, she stared out the window, her arms crossed.

“I was outta line,” she heard him murmur, and she saw him looking at her, his frown less prominent.

Of course it was harder to be mad at him when he was so good, so willing to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” he added, and she sighed, pouting. “Really, I am.”

“Oh, sure,” she said, but she felt herself smile, looking away.

“What can I do?” he murmured, and she squinted at him. “Hmm? I don’t want you to be sore…”

“Sore?” she repeated. “No-one talks like that. You’re so fucking _old_.”

He smiled at her, the spell broken. She turned her face toward him instead of the window.

“How old am I?” he murmured, and she grinned.

“You’re so old that your bible is autographed.”

He let out a breath of a laugh. Darcy doubled down, leaning closer to him.

“You’re so old that your birth certificate –”

“What, what about it?” he murmured.

“It just says ‘expired’ on the bottom.”

He covered his face with his hand while he laughed, shaking his head. When he re-emerged, Darcy whispered:

“You’re so old… that Ben Franklin borrowed _that_ key for his kite from _you_.”

Steve’s laughter couldn’t be contained, and Darcy could see the cab driver looking at them in the rear view mirror.

“Is he alright?” he asked, because Steve was clutching his chest and howling as Darcy leaned forward in her seat.

“Yeah, he’s fine…”

He eventually calmed down, both of them falling silent. When they reached Steve’s street, the sun was beginning to set. They paid the driver and waited for him to turn the corner before walking back to the hidden front door of his apartment.

When Steve let them in, Darcy went into the living room to switch on the heater while he went to his bedroom to change. Darcy picked up the TV remote and switched it on, flipping through his Netflix queue.

“You cool if I hang around -?”

Steve was walking back in, tugging on a shirt, and Darcy caught a glimpse of his bare stomach before she looked away, letting out a breath.

“Yeah,” he said, looking at the screen. “If you want to watch a movie, make sure it’s nothing with anything running directly toward the camera or I might have a heart attack.”

She knew he meant like the first time people ever saw a train projected on a screen in a movie theatre and she grinned at him.

“Good?” he said, and she laughed. “How ‘bout that, when it’s the one in twelve that’s a _good joke_...”

Darcy nodded at the TV, and he turned to look.

“Oh, _Frozen_?”

“You said you hadn’t actually watched it. You can’t be a fake fan anymore.”

Steve smirked. “’Fake fan’?”

“Why, you’d rather watch a fucking old people movie?”

His head ducked and he snorted. “Okay. I need a drink. You want a drink?”

Darcy followed him into the kitchen, hopping onto his bench and swinging her legs as he retrieved a couple bottles, popping the caps off.

“Get your butt off of there, it ain’t sanitary,” he said, but he hopped up to sit beside her.

“Jesus, I thought the whole room was gonna shake,” Darcy muttered and he nudged her. “Your massive butt on this counter top…”

“Massive?” he repeated, and Darcy felt her cheeks flush. “How’d you know it was massive, sweetheart?”

If she was honest, Darcy was still stuck on the brief flash of his chiselled stomach moments ago, and she looked away from him now, unable to respond coherently.

“Give me, g-give me that fucking beer,” she said, and she snatched it from him, putting it to her lips.

She swung her legs and Steve copied her, nudging her again after a minute of silence between them.

“I got something for you.”

Her mind went to several different places, none of them innocent. She managed to keep her face and voice neutral, staring straight ahead.

“Yeah?”

“Hmm,” he said, and he put his beer down, setting himself down on the floor again. He turned to her.

His eyes were bright, his lips quirked in a cheeky smile, and Darcy felt it, the weight of his gaze on her, pinning her there.

“Wait here,” he said, and she nodded.

She thought about following him, maybe tackling him or at least grabbing him so he’d spin around and then –

 _I want to suck his dick_ , came the thought, and she winced.

She did. She wanted that, and she hated that it took her by surprise and yet it had been at the back of her mind for weeks. She wanted him and she’d done this to herself, being this close to him, unable to be a good friend.

She stayed perfectly still, hearing him moving around beyond the kitchen, and then he returned, holding something that made Darcy burst out laughing.

“You got me the bear!”

“Yeah, I had to,” he said, and he walked over with Lil’ Cap, handing him to her, and she squeezed it, wrapping her arms around it.

“Thank you,” she murmured, and she meant it.

“Don’t thank me so soon,” he said. “I was gonna offer to cook some pasta, since it’s gettin’ late.”

“We can do it together,” she said, and she put Lil’ Cap aside, moving toward the cupboards. “You know how to boil water, right?”

“It’ll come to me,” he replied, and he was already getting out the pot and filling it at the sink.

Darcy’s eyes dropped to his rear for a couple seconds, until she decided not to torture herself, reaching for the pack of noodles on the shelf in front of her, keeping the frustrated sigh buried inside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I played Uno last night. No, I did not win. Neither did I win the Monopoly game, but I tried. I TRIED.  
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	11. xi. Gimme A Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short but the next part will be longer! Yay! And you know I'll be back ASAP with that shit!

_You remind me of a time when things weren't so complicated_   
_All I need is to see your face_   
**\- "breathin" by Ariana Grande**

**xi. Gimme A Break**

Darcy’s Instagram exploded when she posted a picture of her posed with Lil’ Cap in her lap, her arm wrapped around his soft tummy, her lips pressed to his head.

She wasn’t verified on any of her social media accounts, so people began to follow in droves when it was established that her Instagram was really her. She tried to not pay too much attention to the followers numbers going up, but she gained almost one hundred thousand over the weekend. She’d never known so many people in her whole life. It was bizarre that all these strangers were there waiting for her.

“You’re in a good mood,” Jane said, when Darcy waltzed into the labs.

She was, goddamn it.

“For once,” Darcy muttered, and she looked over at the whiteboard with the action plan for the day that she left written there on Friday afternoon. “Oh, shit. That’s ambitious.”

“Past you wanted us to approve of three separate projects today,” Jane said, her eyebrows hiking. She lifted her coffee mug and grimaced after she took a sip. “And this is cold…”

“How long have you been here?”

“Woke up at six and I couldn’t sleep, so… since seven?” she murmured, and Darcy glanced at the ceiling, sighing.

That meant her boss was going to crash at some point. She took her mug from her, contemplating just how many times she’d need to be a coffee gopher.

They worked through the morning, and just after twelve when Darcy was planning to go get her lunch, her phone began to ring. She didn’t recognize the number but answered it instead of letting it go to Voicemail. Since she was on a roll that morning, she didn’t see the point in letting things go ignored.

“Hello, is this Darcy Lewis?”

“Yes, that’s me,” she said, and she sensed Jane watching her from her desk.

“This is Agent Michaels, I’m calling about the SHIELD Liaison Representative application you sent us last week.”

“Yes?” Darcy said, and she felt her stomach flutter.

“We’d like you to come in for a meeting this week. Tomorrow, if that’s not too soon?”

Darcy blinked a couple times, the words sinking in. She was reminded of Halle Berry for a fleeting moment – _you like me, you really, really like me_.

“S-sure, I can do that,” she said, and she swallowed, trying to regain her voice. “Absolutely.”

She was told that at three tomorrow afternoon she needed to make her way to the thirteenth floor and check in with Agent Michaels before meeting a couple people. She riffed off the details in her head, bidding Michaels a good day before hanging up.

Jane was staring at her when she looked her way again, unable to stop herself from smiling.

“Hey, I, uh… I got an interview,” she murmured.

Jane grinned. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, I got a fucking interview,” Darcy said, and Jane dropped her pen, running toward her.

“I knew it! I knew it!” Jane squealed, attempting to hug the life out of her.

When she sat down again, she texted Steve the news. He didn’t reply for a few hours, and Darcy remembered he was busy.

He Face Timed her that night when she was halfway through eating dinner on the couch. He flooded her phone screen and she smiled with her mouth still full.

“Hey.”

“Congratulations,” he said, and she rolled her eyes.

“I haven’t got it yet,” she murmured.

“You’ve got it,” he said, and Darcy swallowed, putting her food down.

She walked through to the kitchen, going to the fridge to contemplate dessert, searching for something sweet.

Her smile must have faltered.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked, and she glanced at him, realizing.

“Oh, just… I’m fine,” she lied.

He didn’t seem convinced, and she hated that a little bit, that he knew her too well to not be so easily dismissed. He stared back at her and sighed.

“Okay, I don’t know if I want the job,” she admitted.

“I thought that was obvious,” Steve retorted.

She shut the fridge door without retrieving anything and walked back into the living room, turning down the volume on her TV.

Darcy had been carrying this with her for the last few weeks, these thoughts about the new job. Though it was only part time, she’d be taking on way more, and she’d be answering to SHIELD directly.

“What do you think the job will be like?” Steve asked, and Darcy shrugged.

“Constant paperwork. SHIELD up my ass about protocol…”

“You’re not _wrong_ ,” Steve answered, using his words carefully. “But even the team doesn’t do paperwork for the most part.”

“That’s unethical.”

“What, I’m supposed to stop HYDRA from blowing up a bomb in Cincinnati and then that same day fill out a RA248B form? Gimme a break…”

“Does it give your hand a cramp or something?” Darcy asked with a smirk, amused by his gruff tone. “Your arthritis act up?”

“I know you’re jokin’, sweetheart, but that paperwork is no joke. The amount of times shit goes missing, too…”

“So I’m supposed to be like a secretary for you super assholes?” she muttered, and he chuckled.

“Maybe. Maybe a bit of a babysitter, too.”

“I’m going to get this job because of you, I hope you can live with that,” she said. “Not because I deserve it…”

Steve shook his head, and she watched him take a sip of beer.

“Why can’t it be both?” he said. “You’d be great.”

“Day One, I’ll be rebranding you as the Assholes Initiative.”

“Seems about right,” Steve said, smiling again.

There was a pause and Darcy glanced at the TV, seeing an ad for Christmas hampers.

“Come over,” he said, and she looked back at him.

That was probably a terrible idea, considering how things were between them. When she left his place yesterday with Lil’ Cap under one arm, she had to stop herself from grabbing hold of him when he said goodnight.

“I’m… busy,” she said, and she knew she sounded ridiculous. She looked at the ad still playing and then Steve again. “I have an idea, though. We get you a tree. Day after tomorrow.”

“I dunno…”

“Why not?” she said, holding up a hand. “You’ve got the space. Your giant fucking apartment. Mine’s too cramped, and I haven’t had a tree in years…”

“Where’d we get one?”

“I’d imagine there’d be some in a parking lot somewhere, being sold by some middle-aged guy named Ron or something, with a little unlit cigarillo hanging out of his mouth.”

“I get the feeling you’ve been thinking about this a while,” Steve said, and Darcy smirked.

-

When Darcy arrived the next morning for work, Jane was a flurry of productivity, almost manic with it by the time her assistant arrived. Darcy sensed a long day before she’d even get to the interview.

She was distracted all day. She kept thinking about working with Steve and the others, the amount of stress that would occur, the types of workplace hazards involved. She’d heard some of the funnier stories from Thor, but from the perspective of a colleague, about 99% of their so-called adventures sounded like nightmares.

“You look like a TV evangelist,” Jane said, when Darcy was touching up her makeup at her desk, fifteen minutes before 3PM.

Darcy frowned at her, pressing her mauve-painted lips together.

“I was going for mobster wife,” she replied, and Jane tilted her head, studying her. “But I’ll take maybe one of the Real Housewives.”

“Of what? Las Vegas?” Jane muttered.

“Meow,” Darcy cut in, and Jane blinked at her, as if she’d only just realized what she said. “I’ll see you later. Don’t burn this place down. I need it here for when I don’t get this job…”

“I didn’t say that!” Jane said, groaning. “I’m sorry… good luck.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Darcy mumbled, but her heart was beating at a sickening pace, her hands feeling clammy.

As she rode up in the elevator, she kept touching her earrings, thinking that maybe Jane had a point. She’d worn a sharp blazer and pencil skirt combination with brass earrings she had to take off when answering the phone. She saw her thumb nail’s salmon-hued polish was already chipped and she balled her hand into a fist to cover it.

She gave a long sigh.

“Jesus, stop acting like such a girl…”

She arrived at the thirteenth floor, feeling like she was the daughter who’d been given permission to follow their parent around their workplace. She walked behind Agent Michaels, a woman in her mid- to late-thirties with a sleek black ponytail and olive skin.

She was shown to a conference room, and two men sat inside. They reminded her of Coulson, both polite but impersonal at the same time when she first sat down.

“I heard it’s snowing again tonight,” Agent Brewer said, glancing at Darcy.

Was this some kind of sociopathy test? She tried to think of a way to answer the question, looking at Agent Ito.

“I’m supposed to be getting a tree tomorrow, so hopefully we’re not snowed in,” she said, and Ito smiled.

“With Captain Rogers?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“My wife has been… following that pretty closely,” Brewer said, and Darcy waited. “Now we’re getting accused of virtue signalling.”

“Oh,” Darcy said, and she remembered the shitstorm on Twitter she’d tried to ignore. “Yeah, I guess it goes with the territory.”

“Anyway, we’re here about the Avengers as a whole,” Ito said, and Darcy nodded. “With the growing team, we’re looking at bringing in people who know the ins and outs of enhanced life, but we want someone who can identify with the civilians involved, too.”

“What would be the biggest challenge for you if you were to work with say… Tony Stark?” Brewer asked, and Darcy’s eyes snapped to his.

“Death, I guess?” she blurted, and both men laughed. She wasn’t joking. “Um, or maybe his ability to break the rules?”

“None of those guys really listen to us,” Ito murmured, dropping his tone as if he was sharing a secret.

“I… understand,” Darcy said.

She left the meeting feeling cautiously optimistic, but nonetheless overwhelmed. She let out a shaky breath when she was alone in the elevator heading back to the labs. She took out her earrings, shoving them into her bag, scratching the back of her head a second later as she yawned.

She found Jane in the exact position she was in before, her head bent over some papers, but there was something taking up the majority of her own desk when she approached it.

“Those came for you,” Jane said without looking up.

The bouquet of lilies made Darcy’s stomach flip, and she plucked the card from the mass of flowers, turning it over to read the back.

_Hope you like working with the Assholes Initiative,_

_S x_

The dumb little cross at the end made her smile like an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're getting the fucking tree next chapter, it's a super complicated metaphor for their sexual attraction lmao  
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	12. xii. Pro, Con

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um.... yeah.

_I'm so tired_   
_Of playing_   
_Playing with this bow and arrow_   
**\- "Glory Box" by Portishead**

_You will be my girl_  
 _My girl, my girl, my girl_  
 _You will be my world_  
 _My world, my world, my world_ **  
\- "we fell in love in october" by Marie Ulven**

**xii. Pro, Con**

The next day, Darcy couldn’t keep still at work. She was counting the hours down until lunch, when Steve was coming to get her to go out for his Christmas tree.

She kept checking her phone and Jane kept shooting her knowing looks. She knew she was operating between two narratives: the truth and the lie. Jane thought Darcy didn’t want to show how much she liked her boyfriend, when in reality Darcy didn’t want Jane noticing how close she was to her fake relationship with her dear friend Steve. It was a muddle and Darcy pretended along with her unwitting boss, rolling her eyes when Jane smirked at her close to noon.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“I’ve never seen you like this, not even with Ian,” Jane said, and Darcy didn’t like the mention of her ex, not when she knew about Chloe.

“Whatever,” Darcy muttered, and she looked away, smirking to herself.

She was getting the butterflies in her stomach, missing him. She didn’t know how to tamper them, all those good feelings. She was believing them, too, despite everything. She kept thinking of Peggy, how she’d probably never do anything so stupid as to fake a relationship to get over a guy. She’d probably never be a guy’s side piece in the first place. She’d assert herself, made sure everyone knew how much she valued herself. Darcy was a mess by comparison.

How could see ever measure up to that? She tried to not bully herself about it, but it was getting harder. The Internet made it out like Steve was some hormone-fueled dope, experiencing something shallow for the first time ever, just to get it out of his system. It sounded like she’d managed to trick him through her feminine wiles.

She knew it was a stupid idea to make any comparisons because she and Peggy were two entirely different people, through age and circumstance. Darcy was twenty-five and had grown up in relative peacetime. She liked to assure herself that she’d have never got this close to Steve in the first place if he didn’t value her.

And did it even matter what he thought of her, really? She knew she valued his opinions, but she knew if he was uncharacteristically mean to her for being herself, she wouldn’t ever apologize for what she could not control.

She was overthinking this again. It was hard not to, with all the articles on their relationship, with the comments left on her Instagram photos, the messages on her Facebook from people who used to never pay attention to her.

She longed for it, their little life within the illusion they’d created.

By the time Steve finally let himself into the labs, Darcy was practically vibrating with anticipation, flying to the door so fast that his eyes widened a fraction at the sight of her racing toward him.

“You ready?” she said, and he nodded. She yelled over to Jane, “I’m going! Be back later!”

“Okay!”

She shoved Steve out the doorway and into the hallway, stalking over to the elevator. He stayed quiet, watching her.

They rode down to the basement and Darcy signed out a car to borrow, before taking off. The traffic felt like it was at a snail’s pace, and by the time they left Manhattan, Darcy was grumbling under her breath every few seconds, tempted to beep her horn.

She never did, because she knew it did nothing, but she could sense Steve watching her with amusement while she was hunkered over the steering wheel, her eyes darting all over.

“Come on…”

“They’re not gonna run out of trees, Darce,” he murmured.

“Do you know how late we’ve left this? How late I’ve left this? Way too late,” she muttered, turning her blinker on, waving someone on with increasingly frantic waves. “Oh, my God, mooooooove! Jesus Christ…”

“Why don’t we turn on some music, little Miss Jesus Christ?” Steve murmured, and he began to fiddle with the radio.

He switched over to a golden oldies type station that was finishing up Mariah Carey’s _All I Want For Christmas Is You_. He made a face, his hand poised to change the station.

“Don’t you dare cut off Mariah,” Darcy hissed, and he went still, dropping his hand to his thigh, his eyes wide.

“Okay, then.”

When Mariah finished, Whitney Houston came on and Darcy groaned softly.

“I might cry.”

“Then I’ll change it –”

Darcy’s hand stopped his, shaking her head. “If I cry, so be it…”

He chuckled at how dramatic she was being. The music took her out of the bad traffic for several minutes. _I Will Always Love You_ played as Darcy did little hand movements to the elaborate scales Whitney went through. By the time the chorus hit, she couldn’t help singing along badly, much to Steve’s amusement.

She knew she was laying it on thick, acting goofy like this. She was taking herself out of the equation, stopping whatever flirting that could occur.

He was wearing his flannel shirt under his brown leather jacket, smelling fresh, his sweet muskiness underneath it all. She realized then that she knew his scent – she’d memorized it at some point and now she couldn’t ignore it. She thought if she leaned too close to his neck she’d be saturated with it and want to lick him all over, but making herself out to be this clumsy idiot was helping her behave.

He needed a friend.

They reached Brooklyn, following the GPS to the parking lot filled with trees, the operation resembling a transplanted miniature forest.

Darcy’s brows lifted at Steve and he copied her.

“Don’t look at me, I grew up in the city, I have no idea what I’m doing,” he said, and she grinned.

“You’d be lost without me, huh?”

“Yeah,” he said, and he grinned back at her.

 _No, no, no,_ she thought. _Take it back. Be weird. Burp, do something stupid._

She sidestepped, walking into the line of trees, seeing other people milling around. Most of the trees were hard to decipher between. The scent of pine was everywhere, and Darcy shivered, remembering she’d left her gloves in the labs.

“How do we… pick one?” she murmured, more to herself.

She reached to touch the branches of one she stopped in front of, hearing Steve walk behind her. She leaned forward to sniff the tree, seeing the breath in front of her face.

“I guess some of these are smaller than others,” he murmured. “Sort of… thicker.”

“So size _does_ matter?” she whispered, and then squeezed her eyes shut.

She needed a filter, or several filters. Why did she ever bother pretending she was a civilised human being? Was she actually raised by wolves, or -?

“You tell me,” she heard Steve murmur, and she felt her cheeks flush.

She laughed, probably harder than necessary, to play it off. She avoided his gaze, examining the trees as they walked on. They moved out of the way to avoid colliding with a family of four, and Darcy saw their eyes flash toward them, recognizing them. It was only a matter of time before people would start pointing or asking for an autograph. She watched the family go, their youngest child openly staring at them with an open mouth.

Darcy shivered, eyes moving over another tree that stood proud and tall.

“This one, I think,” she said, and Steve moved up beside her, reaching out to touch a branch. She met his eye, unable to stop herself from smiling up at him. “Not that I really know what I’m talking about, and not that I know what I’m doing.”

“I like this one,” Steve said, his face turning serious. “The… length, and… girth.”

His eyes flitted to hers and Darcy bit her lip, doing her absolute best to suppress her smirk.

“Dumb joke,” he murmured, his eyes moving to her mouth.

“It’s okay,” she replied, against her better judgment.

The afternoon sun was hitting his hair so he looked like his crown was glowing, his breath in the air, his lips parting. She felt it, the shift between them as the joking atmosphere fell away.

Her heart began to beat faster in her chest, her stomach flipping as he stepped closer, bridging the gap.

He was staring at her mouth, his eyes so warm and beautiful.

“I really wanna kiss you,” he murmured.

Darcy blinked, feeling her cheeks blush again, keeping still. “Steve…”

“I really, _really_ want to kiss you,” he whispered, his eyes darting to hers, searching her.

She didn’t run away, but neither did she pounce. She waited, for what felt like the longest three seconds she’d ever experienced, his head moving down, her chin tilting up.

She sucked in a breath when his nose brushed hers, feeling his hand come up to cup her jaw. Her eyes shut and she leaned into it, his mouth pressing into hers.

It took less than a second for him to slant over her, pushing his tongue into her mouth, and Darcy gasped. It felt different to before, there was no-one but each other in this kiss, and it felt like the first time all over again. It was, in a way. It was their first kiss, and he all but devoured her, her whole body arching to meet him, her arms wrapping around his neck while he pulled her flush against him.

He moaned, the sound something Darcy had never heard from him before, but it was undeniable.

Darcy _ached_ , pulling at his lips between her teeth, hearing him hiss and grab at her, wanting to possess her. When she pulled back, breathless, she could see he was a different animal entirely, and she was trapped in his arms.

“Excuse me.”

Darcy’s eyes darted to the source of the sound, and an older couple were staring at them, trying to move past. Steve pulled her out of the way, his hands on her waist, his eyes glazed, his mouth wet.

When they were alone again, Darcy moved back, grabbing their tree.

“We’ll get this,” she said, and Steve nodded, looking elsewhere. “Okay? Let’s go.”

He helped her carry it back to the car, and she paid for it in cash to a guy wearing a worn bucket hat and dirty fingernails. The entire time, Darcy felt dazed, her stomach twisting, and at one point when she was standing she pressed her thighs together.

She slipped into the front seat and she dared to look at him, sure that she was trembling in her seat, fumbling her keys before she managed to get them into the ignition.

“Darce,” she heard him say, and she looked at him, shaking. “Are you okay? I didn’t… I didn’t misread something?”

“No,” she said, before she could stop herself. “No, you didn’t.”

“Okay,” he said, licking his lips. “Okay…”

She started the car, before remembering her seatbelt which she hastily put on. She took off, re-joining the traffic, putting Steve’s address into the GPS. She felt her phone buzz but she ignored it.

They drove in dead silence, no radio, just the honking horns outside the car filling the quiet.

Darcy felt sick. She kept her eyes straight forward. She pulled up at his street, looking around to see if anyone was hanging out in the street. It was pretty isolated. She glanced at her phone to check the time and saw a message from Jane.

_You guys are on TMZ. Maybe keep it in your pants?_

That was big, coming from Jane. Darcy went to Twitter and saw the new pictures – someone at the tree sale had taken photos of them, and Darcy felt white hot lust lick at her insides again, seeing herself in Steve’s arms at a different, voyeuristic angle.

Steve was taking the tree out of the trunk, glancing around, otherwise occupied. She watched him move across to the secret door and let himself in, disappearing with the tree. Darcy glanced down at the car keys in her hand.

She could run away. She should, right? She’d taken this too far. They were friends. He was in love with Peggy Carter.

She didn’t want to go. She wanted to touch him, make him moan again. Her throat felt thick as she tried to swallow.

“Darce?”

She whipped her head toward his voice, seeing him standing there, watching her. She shoved her keys in her bag and pushed off from the car, walking toward him. She moved past him, slipping inside his apartment.

He kicked the door shut and she dropped her bag, waiting in the middle of the living room.

All they did was look at one another for a full minute, Steve’s eyes anchoring her to the floor, her heart _thump, thump, thumping_ in her chest.

“You’re shaking,” he said, and she nodded.

“Yeah,” she breathed, her chest tight. “I don’t think it’s because I’m cold.”

She laughed uneasily and he moved closer, until he reached her, their hips touching. His hand reached for hers and he thread their fingers together, leaning down to press his forehead to hers.

“I can’t…”

“Why not?” he murmured, and she couldn’t believe he was saying it, _her_ Steve was telling her to keep going.

“It’s a bad idea,” she whispered.

They both laughed, but then she felt something like a sob possess her, bubbling up, and she pressed her lips together, shaking her head.

She closed her eyes, reaching with her other hand to grab hold of his t-shirt, gripping it in her fist. She opened her eyes again, staring up at him.

“We’d be good together,” he whispered, and she held her breath. “We’d be great.”

“I…”

“We can do pros and cons,” he added, and she smiled weakly. “Pro – I want you.”

“That’s not a – _fine_ , con – this will get messy.”

“Pro, you untangle all the mess,” he retorted.

He moved to cradle her face in his hands, and Darcy frowned, unable to look away.

“Con – I’m so not your type,” she said, and Steve mimicked her expression.

“What? _Pro_ , you’re definitely my type –”

“Stop it,” she snapped. “You’re making this harder...”

“Good,” he said, and he kissed her, a peck on the lips. “Pro, you want me, too.”

Darcy winced, because she couldn’t deny it. She pressed her lips together to stop herself from speaking.

“Pro, I want you. Pro, I’ll wait for you, if you’re not ready, sweetheart.”

She waited, unsure of what to say. She knew she couldn’t stop herself much longer, from reaching out.

“Pro, I want you,” he said again, softer.

He kissed her, and she melted into it, sighing. She opened her mouth to him and he swept inside, moaning, and she felt tears spring in her eyes.

She let go. She grabbed at him, their hips bumping, his hands on her waist and dipping lower, and she moaned as well, his mouth moving down her face to her neck, sucking at the skin of her throat.

“Steve… _Steve_ …”

He pulled back, that glazed expression on his face again.

“I want you, too,” she whispered, and he nodded, capturing her in another kiss.

They moved toward the couch, stepping over the tree he’d lain on the floor, and Darcy’s hands went to his belt, fumbling with the buckle. They sat beside one another, Darcy still struggling to get his belt undone. She let out a frustrated sigh that dissolved into a laugh and Steve joined her, pulling her into a hug, kissing her face. She broke away, going back to his belt, feeling his gaze trained on her.

With his belt undone and then the front button of his slacks popped open, Darcy kissed him again, her hand slipping down the front of his pants to feel him through his underwear.

He felt thick and hot under her touch, her hand squeezing as she ran it up and down his length, Steve’s breath hot on her mouth as their tongues tangled, and then she felt braver, her fingers slipping under the waistband of his boxer briefs, her nails scraping through his pubic hair.

“Darce,” he gasped, and he moaned, her hand wrapping around him, all warm velvet.

He reached for her, his hand under her shirt, moving up her side to cup her breast over her bra. Darcy stroked him as they kissed, sucking the air out of one another.

She took him out of his underwear, staring down at her hand wrapped around his shaft, rubbing her thumb through the stickiness leaking from the tip of him. He was tugging at her leggings, his own hand trying to reach between her legs, shoving down the front of her soaked underwear, his hiss filling her ears at the sensation of her wet cunt under his fingertips.

She could smell the musk of them both in the air and she moaned, her chest heaving.

“Wanna feel you,” he whispered, and he sounded wounded, moaning as she stroked him harder in retaliation. “Show me… I wanna feel you come.”

She rocked her hips, their eyes glued to one another, and her face burned under his too intense stare, his brows knit together, watching her begin to come undone.

“Show me,” he whispered again. “Show me, baby…”

“God, I’m gonna –”

For whatever reason, the pet name spurred her on, a secret little name only for her. She felt it grow, the warmth deep inside her core, her blood rushing, and she tensed all over, her eyes flying shut.

She came, his mouth pressing to hers at the last second, and she went still. She floated for a couple seconds, before sucking in a breath, gasping for air, meeting his eyes once more, her hand starting to move again.

His kisses were sloppier, his breath coming in pants like hers, and she felt him grow hotter, harder than ever in her palm, and then he grunted, the tendons standing out on his neck.

_“Darcy…”_

He came, and she’d never forget the sight of it, his face screwed up, so beautiful even when he couldn’t contain himself, spilling over her fist, the wet warmth almost startling her when it hit her skin.

The air seemed to change, and what had just happened seemed to sink in, and they stared at one another, stunned by what had transpired in a matter of minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	13. xiii. I've Had Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've lost control but that's okay...

_Who needs an overcoat, I'm burning with love_   
_My heart's on fire and the flame grows higher_   
**\- "I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm" by Irving Berlin**

**xiii. I've Had Worse**

Darcy almost stumbled when she moved off of the couch, walking down the hallway without looking back.

She shut the bathroom door behind her and went to the sink, glancing down at her hand, seeing the mess Steve had made. She stared, feeling hot all over, her stomach flipping. She grabbed a tissue and attempted to wipe the majority of it away, and then she washed her hands under the faucet.

She tried to get hold of her breathing, wanting to slow down, and she put her face in her clean hands, closing her eyes.

This could go one of a few ways, and none of them sounded good, except the obvious one that was absolutely the worst idea of them all.

She could play this off as handjobs between friends. What a great way to bond, masturbating each other on the couch! It sounded callous to her, and she didn’t see herself doing that to Steve.

She could go out there and act like nothing happened, but that also seemed too mean, and frankly, stupid. She wanted something to happen. He wanted something to happen.

What was she supposed to do? She let out a shaky sigh, rubbing her face.

The knock on the door made her jump.

“Darce? You okay?”

“Uh,” she called, “Yeah… I… no.”

“You want some chocolate?”

Oh, God, he was so cute. She couldn’t handle it. He had chocolate, what the fuck… Darcy bit back a groan.

“Uh, do you have something for the trunk? To get the needles out? Like a vacuum cleaner?”

“Yeah…”

She heard him walk away and she glanced at herself in the mirror again, to check everything was still in place. She opened the door, peering around to see the hallway was empty. She walked into the living room, seeing his back to her and she cleared her throat.

He turned, his eyes searching her, and she could smell sex in the air from before – the room felt smaller, her stomach flipping and twisting.

“I have to get back soon,” she said, and he nodded before looking down at the plastic pieces he was fitting together.

She went to move the car, backing it into the driveway as close as possible. She opened the trunk and saw Steve attach and extension cord, turning it on to clean the trunk.

“Should’ve put a tarp or something down,” she said, when he moved back and shut the trunk again. “Didn’t really think that one through.”

“You… wanna leave?”

“Yeah, I said I’d get back,” she said. “I mean, to Jane. I-”

Her sentence fell away and she looked away, unable to handle eye contact. She felt like a coward.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s…” Steve seemed to be struggling, too. Then he shook his head. “No, fuck it, I’m not sorry it happened.”

Her eyes snapped to his, and his gaze averted, checking their surroundings.

“Can we talk about it?” he said, and she nodded, unable to push back.

She followed him back inside and they wandered over to the couch, both of them sitting down, and Steve leaned forward, his hands on his knees. Darcy’s hands were in her lap, and she bit her lip, waiting.

“You regret that?” he said, and she met his gaze.

“I…”

“I know you’re scared,” he said. “I was scared, too… I wasn’t lookin’ for it.”

He was being so honest that she was at a loss for words, unable to stop staring at him as he spoke.

“I don’t – shit,” he said, and he passed a hand over his face. “I know we’ve still got the party in a couple days. Do you… Do you need time?”

Darcy swallowed, and all he did was look at her for a minute, waiting.

“Please, sweetheart, please say somethin’.”

“I, uh, I need to go,” she said, but she reached for him, grabbing his hand. He squeezed her fingers. “But I want to stay over tonight. I just need a few hours. I’ll come back. We can finish the tree.”

He looked away, nodding.

“I need some time,” she added, her voice quieter.

She moved to get off the couch, his hand dropping. He got up, following her to the front door. When she turned to him, she stood on tip-toes to kiss his cheek, but at the last second he turned his head to kiss her on the lips, and she sighed, surrendering to his touch.

She pulled back eventually, her hand resting on his chest, their foreheads pressed together.

“I need time,” she said, and he nodded silently.

On the drive back, she hardly took notice of anything. She kept thinking of the couch, the sounds he made, his face overcome with ecstasy.

She returned the car, went back up to the labs and didn’t look at Jane when she came in. Her boss was in the middle of reading something and didn’t notice her come in until she picked up Jane’s empty coffee mug.

“You want a refill?”

“How’d it go?”

“Huh?” Darcy asked, and Jane flashed a smile.

“The tree, and making out in public like that,” she said, “How’d it go? Is he happy?”

That question was so loaded to Darcy and she looked away, shrugging.

“I guess,” she murmured. She moved toward the machine on the other side of the lab, Jane following her.

“Did you guys have a fight?”

“What makes you think that,” Darcy muttered, loading the machine with a pod and pressing a button.

Jane moved her head so she was directly in Darcy’s eye line.

“Because you look pale,” she said, her eyes traveling all over her face. “Paler than usual, I mean.”

“I’m fine,” Darcy said.

She knew she seemed deflated, but it was only because she was weighed down by her own thoughts. It had nothing to do with what Steve said or did. It was all her fault, these stupid insecurities.

“Are you sure?”

“What, what am I supposed to do if there was something wrong, Jane?” Darcy snapped, and Jane frowned. “I don’t have time for that. We’ve got work to do, and I have to keep this shit up until the end of the year, at least. There’s too much to do, _fuck_ …”

“Are you upset with me because of the job?” Jane said, and Darcy tilted her head, edging toward incredulous. “I know you didn’t want it –”

“You’re right, I didn’t,” Darcy said, widening her eyes.

The coffee stopped pouring and she handed the mug to Jane, walking back to her desk and throwing herself into her chair.

“It’s all a fucking…. _illusion_ ,” she said, gasping a little at the end, and oh, God… she started crying.

Jane’s eyes widened in horror, and she put her coffee down, moving toward Darcy with hovering hands, unsure of what to do.

“Hey, it’s okay…”

“No, it’s not,” Darcy mumbled, and she put her face in her hands, starting to tremble.

Jane’s hands eventually landed on her shoulders and Darcy wept for several minutes, until she couldn’t do it anymore. She didn’t want to wallow, because then she’d never have to courage to move from her chair.

“I’m a fraud,” she whispered, grabbing a tissue and blowing her nose. She tossed it away, Jane still standing by her desk.

“Welcome to womanhood,” she said, and Darcy let out a breath of a laugh.

She sniffled, rolling her eyes. “God, I refuse to be a cliché. Let’s get some shit done, then I can cry some more.”

-

She felt a little better by the time dinner rolled around, and she grabbed a leftover salad in the lab fridge to devor. She kept checking her phone but saw no new messages from Steve. She wondered if he’d changed his mind.

It was a little after seven when Jane finally got sick of catching her sneaking glances at her phone, nodding toward the door.

“Get outta here,” she said.

“You sure?” Darcy said, and Jane rolled her eyes.

“Yeah. You feeling better?”

Darcy nodded, a little surprised. She’d been wobbly before, but now that she’d had time away from Steve, she was able to settle herself. She hoped the spell hadn’t been broken, the one between her and Steve. She thought about what might have happened if she stayed, and she couldn’t help thinking of Ian and how things used to fall to the wayside when she was with him.

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, grabbing her bag from the floor. “Bright and early.”

Darcy raced back up to her apartment, grabbing a bag of decorations she’d left before.

She checked her phone again, contemplating calling Steve. She didn’t want to give him to opportunity to ghost her, so instead she headed toward the subway. She shoved her headphones in and tried to stay neutral, her expectations low, but it was impossible.

She kept seeing Christmas lights and thought of him in the parking lot, kissing her like he did, putting everything into it.

She reached his street, looking out for any spectators. She kept her head down, waiting for a teenager on his skateboard to turn the corner. A bus came careening down the street and she kept still in the shadows. The silence of the street felt heavy. She glanced toward Steve’s front door and took a deep breath.

“Come on,” she whispered, and she walked briskly up, biting her lip.

She knocked on his door, and the wait felt torturous. She half expected him to not be there, or maybe he’d pretend he was gone –

The door opened and she stared up at him, blinking.

“You came back,” he said, and she nodded.

She pushed past him, walking into his living room, seeing he’d propped up the Christmas tree, its branches bare. She dropped her bags, and she knew it was ludicrous, pretending she was there for any other reason than the obvious one –

She turned toward him, his head ducking to kiss her, their lips crashing together. She could hear he was playing a record, some Christmas big band tune. They moved out of time to the music, his hands cupping her ass, his tongue pushing between her lips.  
  


_The snow is snowing and the wind it is blowing_

_But I can weather the storm_

_What do I care how much it may storm_

_I've got my love to keep me warm_   
  


His eyes were darkened with lust when he pulled back, his warm breath on her face.

“Can we -?” he began, and Darcy glanced at his wet mouth, licking her lips.

He kissed her again, seeming to be unable to contain himself, hands pushing off her coat, and Darcy’s beanie joined it on the floor, her boots kicked off a second later. She managed to get her hands under his shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his stomach, and she took hold of his belt buckle again.

He moaned, Darcy echoing him, their hands frantic. She pulled back, needing air, her hand about to dip into his underwear like before.

“Can we make love?” he murmured, and the question made Darcy physically react from the earnestness of it, the phrasing – _make love_ , not _fuck_ , not some joke between them.

There was that ache again, the same one she felt when they kissed the first time that day.

He picked her up, carrying her out of the living room and down the hall. She’d never been in his bedroom before, and it was flooded with the sweet scent of him.

They landed on the bed, and Darcy tugged at her shirt, Steve doing the same. Their mouths began to miss one another in the desperate flurry of movements. She wanted to kiss him, but only so she’d never stop touching him, it lacked finesse, but Steve was the same.

She moved to scrape her nails over his broad chest, only to grab at his belt again, desperate to reach the secret parts of him. The fumbling would otherwise be silent if it weren’t for the clumsy smacking of lips and panting breaths.

It hit her – the reality of it – and she paused, drawing back. He stopped, his hands going still on her hips.

“Wanna slow down?” he murmured, and she shook her head. “Good…”

She tried not to read into it too much, but she couldn’t help noting how his face changed when she was naked in front of him, the way his eyes flashed with heat, his cheeks coloring under the soft light, his hair mussed and lips parted.

He gathered her in his arms, and she began her descent, sucking in a breath as he began to fill her. He felt bigger than from what she gauged earlier that afternoon. She felt her face begin to tingle, overcome by the stretch.

Their mouths didn’t close as they began to move, their tongues tangling. Darcy tried to find an angle, her knees already beginning to ache.

Their hips grinding together wasn’t what she expected at all. She huffed, trying to pick up speed, but it wasn’t working.

“This…”

“What if I -?” Steve began, and he took hold of her to dictate the pace, and Darcy shook her head.

“No…”

“Wait – hold on,” he murmured, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing their chests together, sealing her mouth with a kiss.

Darcy broke away, leaning back. Their eyes met.

“This is bad,” Steve said, and Darcy felt herself begin to smile. “This is bad, right?”

They both began to laugh and Darcy put her face in her hands, moving off until he slipped out of her. He wrapped his arms around her until he was hugging her to his chest, their breathless laughter filling the room.

“Maybe let’s take a second?” she whispered, and he kissed her forehead, chuckling.

Steve scooted back, until he was resting on his pillows with his hands still holding her against his bare chest, his lips brushing her temple.

They lay there for a couple minutes, until Darcy caught her breath.

“I’ve had worse,” she said, and she began to giggle.

“Good to know, Darce,” he replied dryly, and she moved her head up to meet his eye.

Her hand trailed down his stomach and over his hip, reaching to stroke him. Steve’s eyes changed, his mouth moving to meet hers in a slow kiss.

She moved slower, almost gentle, drawing little breathy sighs from Steve as she worked him over.

“Darcy,” she heard him gasp, and she pulled back, throwing a leg over him.

They tried again, Darcy’s eyes glued to his. He deserved her full attention, and she began to rub herself against the length of him, tucking him inside when she’d teased him for a couple minutes. They both gasped, and she took him to the hilt, beginning a climbing grind of her hips.

“Better?” she whispered, and Steve’s mouth fell open, his hand cupping her ass again, his other hand gripping her jaw.

“Fuck,” he gasped. _“Yeah…”_

Darcy rode him, pulling him into a kiss when she felt herself closing in on that sweet release, dragging back and forth, her hand reaching his on her butt to press his fingers where he split her open.

“You feel –” she gasped, and then she dissolved into a moan, clenching around him. “Oh, my God…”

She began to laugh by the end of her orgasm, feeling dazed, her limbs looser. She slumped forward and he caught her, planting his foot and turning them so she was under him, wrapping her thighs around his hips.

“That was so hot,” Darcy babbled, and he began to laugh, pushing back inside her.

He slowed, rolling his hips, thrusting into her hard. It made Darcy grit her teeth, and she fought the urge to close her eyes.

“Fuck,” she whispered, his ear by her lips. “Fuck me. Fuck me…”

“God,” she heard him moan, and he began to move faster, pulling back to look at her face, to watch her.

He let out a huff and Darcy recognized he was close, his hips moving faster than ever. He began to pound into her and Darcy couldn’t keep quiet, moaning as she clung to dear life.

“Can I – fuck, can I come inside you? I didn’t even ask,” he groaned, and Darcy nodded.

“You can,” she gasped. “Come for me, come for me…”

“I’m gonna come so hard,” he gasped, and grabbed at her, shoving deep inside her, his hips stalling.

He bucked once, twice, moaning, his massive shoulders rolling as he came.

“Fu-ucking hell,” he whispered, and he went still, collapsing onto her.

They both panted, sticky with sweat, and Darcy felt him press a kiss to her cheek, sighing as he softened inside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	14. xiv. Santa Hat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a really rough couple of days. I'm hoping I can move past it and keep working on this story because it's been bringing me so much joy. ❤

_We cannot be friends_  
_Cannot pretend_  
_That it makes sense_ **  
\- "Now I'm In It" by HAIM**

**xiv. Santa Hat**

Darcy went through the night in the same bed as Steve, a living furnace, so the bitter cold morning air caused her to experience an almost violent shiver as she slipped out to go to the bathroom.

She wore the same shirt as yesterday, shaking as she checked her face in the mirror, seeing she’d left some of her makeup on. She attempted to restyle her hair, her hands useless, until she found a comb in the cabinet. She grabbed the tube of toothpaste and used her finger as a surrogate toothbrush, refusing to use Steve’s.

She wandered back into his bedroom, seeing he had thrown an arm over the space she occupied earlier, his face buried in his pillow. She could see the steady rise and fall of his back as he slept on, and she picked up her phone to check the time.

“Steve…”

He stirred, and she inched toward the bed, picking up his hand and swiftly ducking under the covers again, his arm wrapped around her.

He jolted.

“Jesus!”

“Sorry,” she whispered, unable to stop herself from laughing. “I know I’m cold.”

“That’s an understatement,” he grumbled, but he kept his eyes shut, turning his head over in her general direction.

“I have to go,” she whispered, rubbing her nose against his warm neck.

“What time is it?” he muttered.

“Seven –”

“Seven?” he repeated. “Go back to sleep.”

He pulled his arm tighter around her and she was pinned against him, unable to move.

“Hey. Lemme go,” she said, attempting to wriggle out from under his arm. She huffed, trying to lift his limb. “You’re supposed to only use your… powers… for good!”

His eyes opened and he flashed a cheeky grin, and Darcy pinched his side, making him jump.

“Hey!”

“Would you let me go?” she muttered, shoving him.

He obliged with a sigh and Darcy got up again, looking around for her leggings. She shivered. He turned onto his back, watching her jump up and down on the spot.

“Take the day off,” he yawned, rubbing his eyes.

“I know you’re not joking,” Darcy replied, and Steve smiled again, shameless. “I have to keep my job. At least until the end of the year…”

She sat down on the bed and Steve reached for her hand, squeezing it.

“Y’know, girls used to do unspeakable things for stuff G.I.’s had back in the day,” she murmured. “So when you come by in the labs, I expect some nylons.”

Steve chuckled. “Right. I’ll check my rations… except I can’t do lunch today.”

“Oh,” Darcy said, and she felt the disappointment stronger than she expected. “You need space?”

He shook his head. “Intel meeting.”

“Can’t you just put out a general PSA for archvillains? No mischief until January 1st?” Darcy said, and Steve smiled at her, shaking his head.

“I think that would only encourage people to act out,” he murmured. “You really headin’ off?”

“Yes,” she said, taking her hand away. “We have the Christmas party tonight.”

It was a SHIELD event so Darcy felt less inclined to dress so over the top. She knew it was going to be a long day, with a mountain of work waiting for her.

“I have to go,” Darcy said, shrugging a shoulder. “My man will be there.”

“Yeah?” he replied, sitting up a little straighter.

“That big ol’ beard, that belly…”

She began to giggle.

“I get to sit on his knee,” she said, putting on a wistful voice. “Oof. The inherent eroticism of a Santa hat…”

She winked at Steve, walking out the bedroom before he could stop her, moving down the hallway to grab her boots and bag.

The Christmas tree stood proud in the living room, swathed with extravagant silver and gold tinsel and baubles. She was picking up her handbag when she felt hands on her sides, and Steve lifted her up to kiss her.

“Who’s to say you’re not on the naughty list?” he murmured, and Darcy laughed.

“That’s precisely how I get all my presents,” she whispered. “And don’t pretend like you’re not there, too, trying to get me to skip work when you know _you_ have a meeting…”

“Maybe I wanna make up for lost time,” he retorted, putting her back on the floor, his arms still wrapped around her.

She sighed into another kiss, her stomach flipping. They spent most of the last twelve hours wrapped up in each other, and she kept catching him looking at her differently, with the kind of reverence she thought was only reserved for one person in his life previously.

She didn’t dare mention Peggy. For him, it had only been a couple years since he’d been in the ice, but for her and the rest of the world, that relationship had been legendary, like something out of American folklore.

 _Lost time_. That was one hell of a way to put it.

“I should go,” she murmured, and she pulled away. She shoved down the doubt as best she could.

She ordered a taxi to pick her up a street over and she left Steve with a lingering kiss, an excited little thrill stirring in her, knowing he was there, this beautiful boy for her to touch. He looked especially beautiful with his hair mussed first thing in the morning.

-

_“Is this a family occasion? Absolutely. Is kissing in public like this appropriate for this type of setting? No.”_

Darcy rolled her eyes extravagantly, her earphones in as she sipped her coffee. She’d managed to get a significant chunk of work done that morning before a news anchor decided to declare Darcy Lewis as Christmas’ number one enemy.

“Am I an asshole? Yes,” she muttered, looking at the anchor whose shrewd expression occupied the entirety of her phone’s screen. “Do I ask inane questions that reflect my low IQ? Yes.”

She stashed her phone away, grumbling under her breath as she began another stack of expense reports she’d neglected for the project proposals she’d been editing.

Jane walked in, Tony Stark in tow, and Darcy sat bolt upright in surprise.

“Tony!”

“Lewis,” he said. “How’s the war on Christmas?”

Darcy felt her face harden into a stern frown. Tony kept walking, unfazed, following Jane to her whiteboard. He glanced over his shoulder at Darcy.

“Angelica Kogen and I go way back,” he went on, and Darcy folded her arms. “Said I was the Antichrist.”

“Surely _before_ you stopped making weapons,” Darcy said, and he shook his head.

“Nope, about two months ago,” he said. “And don’t call me Shirley.”

He hung around with Jane for the next hour while Darcy tried to read the chicken scratch an intern handed her. She kept glancing at her phone, seeing no messages from Steve.

That wasn’t a good sign. She’d only slept with him twice and she was already this attached. Okay, so she knew she was attached anyway, but she hoped it wouldn’t be this fast. She remembered how she and Ian in London hardly spent more than an hour apart.

By watching Tony, she was understanding more why Agents Brewer and Ito mentioned him during the interview.

“Lewis, would you get me a coffee?”

“No,” she snapped, and Jane grinned behind Tony’s back. “And you better not be like this when I’m working with you next year.”

“Why, you hear back?” Jane cut in, her face lighting up.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at the billionaire, deciding to bluff.

“Maybe.”

“I’ve seen the shortlist,” Tony said, and Darcy’s face fell.

“You haven’t.”

He tapped his nose. Darcy scoffed.

“You _smelt_ something?” she snapped, being deliberately obstinate, which made Tony smirk.

“Enjoy… this now,” he said, waving a hand around. “Because you’ll miss it when you’re upstairs with us –”

“You mean with the _Assholes_ Initiative?” Darcy interjected.

Jane’s eyebrows hiked while Tony’s grin widened.

“You’re so worried about me?” he said, and Darcy shook her head.

“I got you figured.”

“Good,” he said. He took a few steps closer to her, his eyes going to her phone resting on her desk. “Because you’ll want to start working on your boyfriend.”

“What?” Darcy said.

“You think I’m trouble? He tell you about all the paperwork he _doesn’t_ do?”

Darcy blinked once, twice.

“Hmm. Yeah, I’ll be your favorite in no time,” Tony murmured, giving her a wink.

-

Darcy kept having to stop herself from getting too caught up in what Tony said as she got ready for the party.

He was trying to freak her out, make trouble, and be a general shit-stirrer. Maybe it was a slow day and she should have let it go, not shown off about her job prospects. He had to be just trying to psyche her out.

His words swirled round and round as she shoved a Santa hat on her head, just as her phone began to ring. She saw it was Steve calling and her stomach fluttered.

“Hey,” she said. “You here?”

“Maybe.”

“What – what does that mean?” she asked.

She picked up her bag, walking out of her bedroom. She checked she had her keys before opening the front door, nearly walking straight into Steve.

“Hey,” he said, grinning down at her.

He was wearing a button up blue shirt with its sleeves pushed down to his elbows, his eyes traveling up and down Darcy’s dress.

“Helluva dress,” he said, and she ducked past him, moving toward the elevator.

He managed to catch her in a kiss, and it was too hard for her not to melt into it, closing her eyes. She broke away once the doors opened, revealing a few personnel also on their way down. One man nodded at Steve.

“Captain.”

“Rowlands,” Steve replied, using his Captain America voice.

Darcy followed him inside, and they rode in silence. She felt like a five-three Christmas elf, surrounded by far more sensible people, and by the time they arrived at the lobby her face was burning with embarrassment.

The lobby was flooded with people, and Darcy felt Steve’s hand take hers, anchoring her for the few brief seconds before she heard the familiar voice of Sam Wilson.

“Hey! Lewis!”

She turned her head, and she was hugged a second later, Sam’s eyes widening when he took in her outfit.

“I… overdressed, didn’t I?” she murmured, and Sam shook his head, perhaps to be polite.

“Well, maybe you had a different… idea about what the dress code was,” he said, and Darcy’s eyes scanned the room, seeing most people wearing work clothes while she wore head-to-toe red velvet.

“What was the dress code?” she muttered. “‘Get dressed’?”

Steve looked like he was trying not to laugh.

“You could’ve warned me!” she hissed.

She heard a bell ringing and a boisterous ‘ho, ho, ho’ and she turned her head toward a Santa walking past, who promptly did finger-guns at her one his way through the crowd of charcoal grey, black and white.

“Oh, my God,” she groaned. “Everyone’s going to think I’m with Santa…”

“You’re not?” Steve murmured, and she glared at him. “I didn’t think you were too dressed up.”

“How would you know?” she snapped. “Not all of us look like you –”

He frowned as she waved in his general direction.

“- comically handsome.”

“Comically handsome?” Sam repeated.

“Yeah!” she said, pointing at them both. “You don’t have to worry about looking like dickheads. Sam, gimme your jacket. Where’s your jacket?”

“Didn’t bring one –”

“Awesome, so I guess I’m going back upstairs…” Darcy muttered. “Unless everybody gets really drunk _really_ fast…”

She stayed close to Steve’s side with Sam as they walked through the lobby, keeping her smile in place, waving occasionally at people she recognized.

Steve lowered his head so his lips were at Darcy’s ear.

“Five minutes,” he murmured. “Then we’ll go back to your place.”

“You sound like you’re _assuming something_ ,” she retorted, lifting her brow. “You still owe me pair of nylons –”

He stopped short and Darcy almost stumbled, watching as Steve’s face changed. Darcy noticed Sam also went still, and she looked forward, seeing a blonde woman standing with a drink in her hand.

She wore a sharp grey pantsuit, and she was beautiful, with a look on her face that Darcy knew was recognition, but it was more than that.

“Sharon, hey,” Sam said.

_Sharon._

She heard about Sharon. Sharon Carter. As in, Peggy Carter’s niece Sharon. Darcy stared at her, snapping her mouth shut.

“Hi, Wilson,” she replied, but she was looking straight at Steve.

Darcy's eyes darted to the side of Steve's face, and she saw this throat bob as he stared back at Sharon. 

His hand felt limp in hers, and Darcy felt her stomach drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	15. xv. Sharon

_Baby, believe me_   
_And you had every chance_   
_You destroy everything that you know_   
_(Uncontrollable)_   
_If you don't need me_   
_Just let me go_   
**\- "Flesh Without Blood" by Grimes**

**xv. Sharon**

Darcy let go of Steve’s hand, moving toward Sharon.

“I’m Darcy,” she said, her pulse too thick for her body, some kind of nausea taking over her.

Sharon looked at her with an unreadable expression, offering her hand.

“Sharon, it’s nice to meet you,” she murmured, and Darcy didn’t look back at Steve to gauge his reaction.

One piece of tail meeting another? She’d been in this situation before, but she never cared so much. She wasn’t about to tell anyone that, though. She knew what she looked like. If anyone took her photo tonight among the drudgery they’d pick her out, and the Internet would be unforgiving as always.

She was a little attention seeker with her tits pushed up under her fitted red dress. Swap the Santa hat out for a pair of horns and people would think it was Halloween.

Darcy was livid but kept a smile on her face while she spoke to the blonde, and she wondered just how many people were listening in on their conversation.

“I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other before,” she said, and Sharon gave the barest hint of a smile in return.

“I’ve been in Marrakesh for the last few weeks,” she said, and she glanced at Steve. “Christmas in New York, though. Incomparable.”

Darcy nodded, giving a little titter. Sharon began to move away, lifting her drink to the men behind Darcy.

“Merry Christmas,” Darcy said, and Sharon nodded at her.

“You, too.”

Steve didn’t say a word, and Darcy glanced at Sam, seeing his face was frozen in surprise, his eyes wider than before.

“Darce –”

She tried to not visibly react to Steve reaching for her and she took a step away from him, making a show of looking around. She heard Steve murmur something to Sam, who took off, saying something about finding beers.

Darcy kept her eyes averted, raising her hand to wave to Jane who was waving back at her from across the room.

“I think we should talk,” Steve said, and Darcy’s eyes swung to meet his, her smile still on her face when she leaned closer to him.

“Don’t touch me,” she said through her teeth and he dropped his hand that had been hovering by her arm.

Jane reached them and Darcy saw her boss was wearing her clothes from before, plus a new coffee stain.

“Wow, people really didn’t want to try tonight,” she said, and Jane tilted her head, confused, before realizing what Darcy meant.

“Oh,” she said. “Yeah, you’re overdressed.”

“Why did no-one send me the memo that this agency is basically joyless?” Darcy muttered, and Jane shrugged. She rolled her eyes at the music that changed over. “Why did people even bother coming?”

She met Jane’s eye and they said together: “Free booze.”

Sam re-joined them and Darcy took the beer he offered her, putting it to her lips. She heard the Santa from earlier ringing his bell. She kept gulping until she had to take a breath, sighing, before polishing off the bottle.

She was aware of Steve, Sam and Jane’s eyes all on her, and she put a fist to her mouth to muffle her burp.

“I’ll be right back.”

She walked off, weaving through the crowd. People would stop to look at her as she moved through. She overheard some of the comments without meaning to:

“Oh, God. Can’t she tone it down?”

“She’s always like this. Remember that first week she was here with Foster? Those tacky _Star Wars_ t-shirts?”

“I don’t think she owns a single piece of clothing in her actual size…”

She turned her head to find the source of the bitchy commentary but was met with blank stares, and she blushed, moving further into the sea of dreary shades.

More voices she managed to catch:

“She dresses like a kindergarten teacher and now she’s Santa’s skank –”

“Don’t, she’ll hear you…”

Women and men degrading her, but she kept her head down, finally getting to the bar that stood against the wall.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

She saw Tony, and she tried to not openly scowl.

“Thirsty,” she replied, sidling up beside him. She felt his eyes on her, but not in a lecherous way, more like she was a curiosity.

“You look like you could use a drink,” he replied, nursing his own glass of scotch.

She gestured one of the three bartenders, a young guy in a silk vest whose eyebrows rose at the sight of her. Darcy stared back at him, unimpressed.

“Shot of Belvedere, please.”

“Expensive taste,” Tony murmured, and the barkeep poured her the shot before moving away and Darcy picked it up, looking down at the glass. “You handing out presents later?”

“Fuck you, Tony,” she replied without looking at him, and she threw back the drink before slamming the glass back down.

Tony only laughed, louder than she expected, but she still refused to acknowledge him any further. She took out her phone from her bag as she signalled another shot.

She saw a new sea of notifications, the majority of them as rude as she expected them to be. She wondered how else she ever expected this to go, dating Steve publically.

Maybe she wasn’t as smart as she thought she was. What made her think she was worthy of all the attention in the first place? People worked hard for their money while she was getting offers in her inbox every day, people were homeless. People sucked and fucked for the type of fame she had.

She knew Steve was behind her when she threw back the second shot, but she didn’t turn around.

“Can we talk?” he said, his voice hushed.

“Sure,” she said, looking down at her empty glass. She pushed it aside, spinning around, leaning back on the bar like Tony was beside her.

Steve’s brows were knit together and she wished she didn’t care about whether he was happy or sad. She felt hurt, foolish. She didn’t want to show it.

“Oh, you mean alone?” she added, and she picked up her bag again, shrugging.

She pushed past Steve, melting back into the crowd.

“Would you… would you slow down?” Steve asked, and she kept going, until they left the lobby, ducking outside into the cold.

“Why, is a civilian suddenly faster than you?” Darcy drawled, unable to stop herself.

The air was bitterly cold and she crossed her arms over her chest, coming to a halt on the curb. She finally looked at him, and he looked torn.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and she shrugged a shoulder.

“It’s okay, we’ve been together, what, seven weeks?” she said, looking around.

She wasn’t speaking loud enough for the smokers around them to hear but she could never be too careful. Steve wasn’t playing along.

“Don’t do that,” he said, and she tilted her head.

“Do what?”

He looked away, laughing without mirth. “Jesus, you’re… stronger than me.”

Darcy felt her resolve begin to crumble at his choice of words, the weight of his statement so heavy. If she was honest, she wanted to scream at him. She wanted to shake him.

“Making up for lost time, huh? I thought you said you were a bad liar,” she said, and his face fell. “You got me. You could look outside of that gene pool, though. Gets a bit weird if you’re moving onto the niece after –”

“Don’t,” he hissed, and she snapped her mouth closed. He took a step closer to her and she realized then that he scared her, when he hadn’t ever before. She hadn’t dealt with this side of him up close.

“Am I wrong?” she said, and he looked away. “I’m not. Sam didn’t seem confused. Seemed like everyone else was aware of that relationship, except me.”

He didn’t argue with her so she let out a little exasperated sound, laughing.

“Right. God, I’m an idiot,” she said, looking away. “We’d be good together, we’d be great? I am a _sucker_.”

“You’re not going to even give me a chance to explain?” he said, and Darcy felt her eyes sting. “That’s it?”

“What’s to explain? If she wasn’t a big deal, you would have told me about her,” she said, and he frowned. “You were supposed to be my _friend_.”

They fell silent and Darcy could feel the cold more, and she shivered, hoping she wasn’t about to cry. Then another thought occurred to her and she couldn’t keep the emotion out of her voice.

“Was she the bad date you had a few weeks ago?”

Steve met her eye and she felt the anger rise up in her again.

“Was _Sharon Carter_ the bad date you went on before all this?”

“Yes,” he said, and Darcy gasped.

She stalked off, ignoring his calls after her, pushing back inside the front doors. She walked up to the elevator, feeling the tears begin to bubble up inside her and she smashed the button to call it, her breathing heavy.

She ducked into the elevator, closing the doors behind her, and she began to sob, her stomach churning. She leaned against the wall as she ascended, feeling her phone begin to buzz.

It was Jane, and Steve. And a bunch of random strangers. And then her mom.

She got inside her apartment and kicked off her shoes, pressing her mom’s contact number before putting her phone to her ear.

She kept crying softly, sniffling as she walked through the apartment. She was exhausted.

“Darcy?”

“Hey, Mom,” she murmured, and her chin quivered. She let out a shaky breath. “What did you want to tell me?”

“I’m going to Tahiti for Christmas!”

Darcy could picture Rosie’s face, lit up.

“You met someone.”

“Yeah,” she said, laughing. “At my age, I know it’s pathetic –”

“It’s not,” Darcy cut in. “I’m happy for you.”

“Well, I know you roll your eyes at me, but I’m a romantic. I can’t help it. Anyway, he booked the flights as a surprise. I had no idea. I know it’s short notice –”

“It’s okay,” Darcy breathed, lying to make it easier, lying to get the conversation over and done with. “You go have fun, bring me back some presents…”

She let her mother talk for several minutes. The boyfriend was a divorcee with three adult kids and some grandchildren, a little older than Rosie tended to go for, but she was surprised.

“I wasn’t looking for him, I swear. But he’s so sweet.”

“Yeah,” Darcy said, her heart feeling heavier by the second. “I know what you mean…”

When she hung up, she sniffled, looking down at her phone. Steve’s texts stuck out the most.

_If you want to call this off, I understand_

_I’m sorry for keeping you in the dark_

She opened her calendar and checked what was on for tomorrow.

A fundraiser brunch. In Brooklyn.

She sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will resolve in time! ❤
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	16. xvi. It's You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know what I'm doing" I scream into the void...

_I don't know where I'm going_   
_But I know what I'm showing_   
_Feelings, that's what I'm pouring_   
_What the fuck is your motive?_   
**\- "I THINK" by Tyler, The Creator**

**xvi. It's You**

She was less angry with Steve the following morning.

She still had a lot of regrets, especially her outfit choice last night. When she was getting ready in her apartment, she finally answered Jane’s call.

“You could have at least warned me about the party dress code,” she muttered.

She’d propped her phone up on the bathroom sink on speaker as she began sticking bobby pins into her hair. She was trying to do a fancy chignon from memory, but everything was too messy even for a deliberately tussled style. Darcy didn’t have the confidence to pull off something that looked like sex hair…

“I had no idea,” Jane said. “You saw me. I thought I’d be the worst dressed –”

Darcy sighed, dropping her hands from her head, turning from side to side. She started over with her hairbrush, before checking the time on her phone.

“Shit. I need a stylist,” she muttered. At least she had no zits that morning, just the dark circles under her eyes from too little sleep. “And maybe a gallon of Starbucks…”

She could hear Jane was already making herself another cup of coffee in the labs, as if her assistant had prompted another craving.

“Can I ask – and I need you to be honest…”

“Uh-oh,” she heard Jane reply, and then the distinct sound of the coffee machine whirring.

Darcy winced, passing a hand over her face.

“Did you know about Sharon and Steve being a thing?”

She heard the pouring sound on the other end and she waited, wondering if Jane was trying to think of a way to be gentle with her answer.

“I didn’t,” her boss began. “But it doesn’t surprise me.”

“Right,” Darcy said. She would have said the same thing if she wasn’t involved in the situation.

It made sense – a shared experience of SHIELD, their sense of justice, their strength of character. From what Darcy knew about Sharon, she was always the first to arrive and the last to leave with meetings. She went above and beyond. She had many friends within SHIELD.

She shouldn’t have slept with him. Every time she thought of her night she spent in Brooklyn, she felt a wave of hurt. All she wanted to do was cry, but she hadn’t cancelled any plans. She was going to meet with him in Brooklyn and then go to a shelter for a tour of the facilities before handing out supplies for people visiting during the morning rush. She knew they would be dealing with a very sanitized version of New York’s much larger homelessness.

“You’re a psychopath,” she whispered, when she’d finally finished getting ready, staring at herself in the mirror.

She took a cab that dropped her off around the corner from the shelter, and she spied some press already milling around the entrance. They sprang into life when they recognized her, and she took a deep breath, falling into someone else’s shoes.

“Darcy, Tammy Nelson from _NY Beat_ , we’re wondering about the Santa get-up from yesterday…”

“We’ve all been there,” Darcy said, her line exactly what she rehearsed. “We’ve all gone to a party and worn something embarrassing. I didn’t get the memo, I’ve never been the most… corporate person.”

“I heard you were being promoted internally,” someone added.

She looked at the guy who said it, a man in his thirties with a pair of thick glasses and a smug look on his face.

“Can’t say I know what you mean,” she replied, taking a few more steps toward the front door.

She could see the familiar figure of Steve beyond the glass. The same reporter kept his phone close to her face, expectant.

“You… need another explanation?”

“A friend of mine saw you walk out of that party pretty fast last night,” he added, and Darcy tilted her head.

“The wardrobe faux-pas sort of put me off the atmosphere.”

“You’re saying it was hostile?”

 _Yes._ “No,” Darcy said, shrugging. “I wanted an early night. Excuse me.”

She pushed the door open and shut it behind her, ignoring the other questions fired her way. She could see someone picking apart everything she said. She wondered how her job application had somehow got out. If there was a leak, there would need to be an internal investigation. She tried to push that aside as she walked up to Steve.

There were several staff standing by as she moved to kiss his cheek.

“Hey,” she said, smiling at him.

He was subdued, giving a polite amount of attention before glancing at one of the men wearing an apron.

“You ready?”

They were shown around and Darcy unintentionally noticed Steve again and again. He was deep in thought, asking questions as they went around the kitchens and the rec rooms.

“For some, this is the only social interactions they have,” the supervisor said. His name was Sully and he had a large anchor tattoo on his forearm that he waved around indicate facilities or pictures on the wall. “Some of these men won’t have anywhere to go for Christmas.”

“Right,” Steve said, nodding. “And… there’s the waiting list, too?”

Sully nodded. “These are the lucky ones.”

“Right,” Steve said, his jaw ticking.

Darcy watched his face as Sully told them more, their journey ending in the kitchen. A woman named Meredith with her two assisting chefs were in the middle of preparing the next round of meals for the day. Darcy took off her coat and gloves.

“Can I -?” she indicated the chopping board one of the women stood in front of with a knife. “Someone hand me something to do…”

Everyone burst out laughing but she was serious, taking over chopping onions while Steve was shown how to unstack the sanitizer for all the cutlery and dishes.

People began to file into the dining hall as Darcy was pulled away from the chopping board along with Steve. Sully handed them both gloves, aprons.

“Still better than my outfit from last night,” Darcy said, and she heard several people giggle. She tugged on the hair net Sully added and looked up at Steve. “Right?”

For a few seconds, she forgot about their fight and they were back to before like when they visited the hospitals. He beamed at her.

“How many cats died for your coat?” he murmured.

“It’s not real fur, Grandpa,” she threw back.

Serving people was the easiest part. They had some stews and casseroles on the go, the steam making her hair begin to frizz, but she knew looking good was never the point of these events.

“My daddy was freed in Italy by Captain America,” said one man who shuffled through. He said it to Darcy, and her eyes widened.

“Really? Oh, my goodness,” she said. “That’s… I’m so glad he did that for your family. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here, huh?”

The man was missing most of his teeth but his smile was still wide and proud and Darcy glanced at Steve, whose expression had changed.

“Steve, did you hear that?”

“Yeah,” he said, and he put his ladle down to reach over the counter, touching the man’s shoulder with his hand. “Good to meet you.”

“Is he always like this? Bad at taking compliments?” the man said, and Steve promptly blushed, ducking his head. “My daddy said he was always a bit of a dope.”

“Wow,” Steve said, laughing now. “He wasn’t wrong.”

Darcy giggled, before looking down at the food in front of her. “You get yourself a roll for your soup?”

The man was distracted, still talking to Steve.

“She’s gorgeous,” he said, before winking at Darcy. “My _God_ …”

Darcy felt her own face redden and she laughed some more.

“Don’t be afraid to come back for seconds,” she said, and he finally began to move on, wriggling his fingers at her.

Steve kept chuckling as the line moved on and Darcy felt her stomach flip. She couldn’t control herself, feeling tears spring in her eyes, and she reached out to grab his arm.

“Stop,” she whispered, breathless.

They took a picture in front of the center with Steve shaking Sully’s hand. The reporters kept a polite distance away, but once Steve and Darcy left, hailing a cab, the questions started up again.

Once they were alone again, Darcy felt something shift, and Steve was silently looking out the window.

“Do you remember the day we met?” she murmured, and his eyes swung to meet hers.

They were sitting in traffic, their driver absorbed by his private phone call, waving his hand around.

“It was at the Tower,” he replied, and Darcy shook her head. He frowned. “Or did you mean how we really met?”

There was the version they made up for the press in case they were ever asked. Darcy was referring to the truth.

“Summer. Year and a half ago,” he said, and Darcy nodded.

She was finding it easier to be around him if she didn’t look at him. She could hear the amusement in Steve’s tone as he began to reminisce.

“How’d you put it? ‘Take the stairs –’?”

“Take the stairs if your knees can stand it, Grandpa,” Darcy said, feeling her lips quirk. “It was hot that day and you thought you were entitled to the elevator, no matter how many people were already crammed in.”

“I took the stairs.”

“Yeah, because you’re insane,” she muttered. She took out her phone, unlocking it to sift through the rest of the day’s schedule.

The silence between them felt different, heavy with things left unsaid. Darcy knew she should start to move along, be professional, either dig her heels in or walk away.

“I liked your dress,” Steve said.

She wasn’t expecting that. She looked at him, seeing those blue eyes staring back at her. She shifted in her seat.

“I didn’t know people weren’t gonna dress up,” he added. “It was the first Christmas party I’d been to for SHIELD. I never wanted to…”

Darcy held his gaze and he pressed on, trying again.

“I never wanted to try before all this,” he said.

They finally began to move again but the traffic was still bumper to bumper, horns honking around them. Their driver yelled something out his window.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and Darcy felt her chest tighten.

She knew he meant it. She made herself nod, to at least acknowledge his apology. She hadn’t replied to his texts.

“We’ll just get through the week. And then the next one,” she murmured, looking down at her hands. “Hopefully people will feel charitable, and it won’t feel like a waste of time –”

“Nothing ever feels like a waste of time with you, Darce,” he cut in, and her eyes snapped to his.

“It’s over,” she said, and she made herself watch him visibly react. “The… other stuff. Me staying over. The pros and cons.”

“Right,” he said. He didn’t sound mad. He looked away, his jaw tensing.

They rode back in silence, and they separated once they walked into the Tower.

-

Darcy refused to go home at a reasonable time that night or the following day. It was Friday again and she’d spent a lot of her time at her desk avoiding her personal life.

She stayed long after Jane left, Christmas tunes playing from her laptop as she wrapped a stack of presents that had grown over the last couple days.

She heard a familiar voice coming from the doorway when she was curling a bit of ribbon before adding it to the pile beside her desk.

“Lewis!”

It was Sam. She looked up, seeing him walk over with a bag in one hand, a smile on his face. She mirrored him, picking up a hardback book and some more paper to measure out what she needed.

“I heard you’re wrapping presents,” he said, and she nodded.

“Small donation for my troubles,” she said, gesturing to the tin she’d put on her desk. “For the shelter in Brooklyn.”

She took the bag from him, lifting out a candle that made her raise her eyebrows.

“It’s for my sister. It was either that or lotion,” he said. “Amanda, the girl at the counter said it was popular.” 

“Well, if Amanda says,” Darcy muttered, moving the book out of the way to begin measuring out paper for Sam’s present. She glanced at him again. “Did you buy it to impress Amanda?”

“It didn’t work,” Sam admitted, and she chuckled. “But maybe my sister will enjoy it like she said.”

Darcy began cutting paper with her scissors, folding the paper and grabbing the tape from the little dispenser at her elbow.

“How… many people have you wrapped for?” Sam asked, looking at the growing pile.

“I lost count,” Darcy replied, shrugging a shoulder. “If I’m honest, I’d do this shit for free. I mean, as a kid I used to want to be the lady at Macy’s who wraps all the presents.”

Sam watched her as she finished up, getting out his wallet from his back pocket. They swapped, a fresh ten dollars in her hand for the wrapped candle.

“You’re an excellent wrapper,” he murmured, turning the candle over to inspect it before stowing it away again.

“You should see my mix tape,” she said, winking. “Get it? Wrapper –”

She picked up the tape dispenser.

“Mix tape? Wrapper?”

“Yeah, I got it,” Sam said, shaking his head. “You get one joke, Darcy. That was it.”

“Hmm,” she replied, settling back in her chair and going back to the book from before.

She waited, knowing better. He wasn’t there for her help or to make a donation. She was sure he heard about her doing this through the grapevine.

“Steve’s, uh –”

“What did he tell you?” Darcy asked, without looking up.

She liked the repetitive movements of wrapping. Cut, fold, tape, label, set aside.

“I’m not defending him,” he went on, and she glanced up at him, her eyebrows raised. “Really, I’m not.”

“But?”

“He and Sharon aren’t a thing,” he said, and Darcy scoffed.

“Okay,” she said.

She wondered exactly what Sam knew, whether he’d been told their relationship was for publicity. She didn’t think it was Steve’s style to blab about that type of thing, but she’d been shown just how wrong she was about him before.

“Really,” he said, and Darcy had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “You should ask him about the last date they went on.”

“I really… don’t want to,” she muttered, but she could see Sam was serious, his smile faltering for a moment.

When he left her alone, Darcy went back to wrapping, only to run out of steam. She stared at the pile of gifts and then glanced at the time on her laptop. It was past eight o’clock. She needed to pack it in and go home.

There was a lump in her throat as she picked up her phone, muting her music with fumbling fingers. She scrolled through her messages and pressed the call button.

“You didn’t have to pick up, but you did,” she said, her voice wobbling.

She heard Steve sigh on the other end.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I didn’t let you speak,” she whispered. “Not even in the cab before…”

“Where are you?”

“The labs. Steve…”

He waited but her sentence fell away, her breathing shaky. She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart racing.

“Can I come and get you?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “Yeah.”

She hung up, sitting back, staring at her phone. She put it aside, picking up another gift. She began to wrap again without music, her movements the only sound. It was another half an hour before the lab doors opened again and she looked up, seeing Steve walking over.

“You’re… really not helping with the whole elf narrative,” he said, but neither of them smiled at the joke.

Darcy put down her scissors to give him her full attention as he stood by her desk.

“I am so sorry,” he said, and she nodded, her eyes misting. “I should have told you about Sharon. I should have been a better friend. You’re right about everything.”

She sniffed.

“Sam said to ask –”

He looked away, shaking his head. “I didn’t want him interferin’ –”

“That last date with Sharon,” she went on, and Steve’s face changed, something in his eyes.

Was it fear? Darcy sat up straighter. Seeing it in front of her made it harder to ignore. It made it harder for her to push back, to push him away.

“He told me to ask about it, how bad it was.”

He glanced away, considering his words.

“We went to this Thai place. Table at the back, no-one really noticed us. At the start, within a minute of her sitting down in front of me, I knew what was happening.”

“She was dumping you?”

“Yeah,” he said, a little smile on his lips. “But she was telling me what I already knew. I was distracted. She thought it was –”

He let out a breath.

“She thought it was Peg.”

“Oh,” Darcy said, and she felt her stomach drop.

Steve moved closer to her and she froze up, seeing him come toward her, his hands falling to her shoulders as he stooped.

“But it wasn’t. I spent the next two hours just talking about you.”

Darcy stared at him, waiting for more, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She went back over everything, every instance between them, to refute this.

“Why’d you freeze up at the party?”

“I wasn’t expecting her back from her assignment,” he said. “I was going to tell you –”

“Did you two ever sleep together?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head emphatically. “We weren’t meant to be.”

“But Peggy –”

He touched her face.

“Darcy, it’s you. It’s _you_.”

She didn’t know what to say. He kept stroking her face.

“I should’ve told you. Told you everything,” he murmured. “But I thought I’d screwed it all up.”

Darcy screwed up her face, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hands. She huffed.

“God, you can’t say shit like that. You can’t.”

“Why?” he said, taking hold of her face again. “Why not? Who says I can’t?”

Darcy chuckled despite herself. “You sound like you wanna fight somebody…”

“Yeah,” Steve replied, smiling. “I’ll fight somebody. Lemme at ‘em…”

“You’re so _stupid_ ,” she mumbled.

He pressed his lips together, his jaw tensing. She reached for him, cupping his jaw in return, his eyes searching her.

“You better make a move before I –”

He cut her off with a kiss, and Darcy whimpered, the force of him pushing her back and he grabbed hold of her to keep her upright. They tussled together, only breaking apart when Darcy needed air, and she felt rubbed raw, her chest heaving.

“No more secrets,” she hissed, raising a finger. “No more.”

“Okay,” he said, staring at her mouth. “Then you come home with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I was kind of overwhelmed by the amount of negativity Sharon garnered in the last chapter but go off, I guess
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	17. xvii. Couch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! ❤

_And he see the universe when I'm the company_   
_It's all in me_   
**\- "God is a woman" by Ariana Grande**

**xvii. Couch**

Darcy clung to Steve’s hand and didn’t let go until they were sitting on his couch back in Brooklyn, and even then, she only kept touching him in other places.

His arm lay across the back of his couch while Darcy was tucked into his side, the TV mostly forgotten. Her hand lay on his thigh, gently squeezing as she gazed up at him.

She rose her other hand to glide up his face to thread her fingers through his hair. She could make out the tiny freckles on his nose this close up, his long eyelashes standing out on his cheeks when he closed his eyes when he surrendered to her touch.

He kept them closed as she murmured:

“You just happy chillin’?”

He made a contented sound and Darcy moved closer, until her nose brushed with his. She leaned in, closing her eyes to brush her lips to his.

He moved against her, his hand coming up to clutch at her face, his tongue nudging her lips open to deepen the kiss. Darcy moaned, the heat of it spurring her on, her fingers curling in his hair. His arm came down to wrap around her, pressing her chest into his.

He only pulled back when she was thoroughly kissed, her whole body buzzing with arousal, and he gave her a slow peck with his eyes hooded, his lips wet under the low light.

“Steve…”

She pulled back, turning her head, and she yawned. She was unable to stop herself, her mouth wide before she managed to cover it with her hand. Steve chuckled, kissing her face.

“Sorry, I…”

“You sound sleepy, sweetheart,” he murmured.

“No, I’m…” she meant to apologize and yawned again. “ _Jesus_.”

Her eyelids felt heavy. She felt like she’d been run ragged. The week had been long. She rubbed her eyes, grunting. It only made Steve chuckle more, kissing her hair and cuddling her.

“We’ll go to bed,” he whispered.

Darcy attempted to grab at his hair again, widening her eyes for several seconds to implore him.

“No, I spent so long not doing this –”

“We’ve got time, I promise,” he murmured, and Darcy let out a little gasp, as she was suddenly lifted from the couch, bridal-style.

He carried her out the living room and down the hall, switching off the lights as he went, leaving the tree’s lights still blinking. Darcy nuzzled into his neck, kissing his skin.

He moved into his bedroom, setting her down on the mattress.

She was undeniably exhausted, though she’d tried to fight it. She moved to tug off her pants and slip under the covers, unable to fight off sleep. She turned her head into the pillow, watching as Steve took off his shirt, her hand reaching to touch his broad back.

He turned over, slipping under the covers next to her, curling himself around her, his lips brushing her cheek.

“Don’t make me come over there,” she slurred, and she felt the vibrations of his chuckle behind her, her eyelids too heavy to stay open.

-

She woke alone and she made a soft groan, glancing around. She sensed it was early, the soft light coming from under the curtains bathing the room in a pale blue glow.

She sat up, listening out, pulling back the covers. She could hear murmuring from beyond the door, and she crept out the door and followed the sound down the hallway.

Steve was on the phone, his face changing when he saw Darcy wandering over to the couch. He wore his boxer briefs and nothing else. It felt warm enough that Darcy didn’t shiver. He must have come out there some time ago to speak.

She moved closer, until she was in front of him, taking hold of his face and he murmured into his phone. She ducked to kiss him, hearing someone’s muffled voice on the other end. She pulled back, Steve’s hand on the hem of her shirt before it dipped down to smooth his hand over her rear.

He had a cheeky glint in his eye, and Darcy narrowed her eyes, assessing him.

“No, sir. That I can attest to,” he said, his focus on her legs before heading back up to her face.

He went quiet as the person on the other end kept speaking, and Darcy’s hands rubbed down his arms and then reached for his stomach, feeling the muscles. She pressed another kiss to his mouth, a more possessive edge to it, pushing her tongue into his mouth to taste him. His hand flexed on her ass before gripping her, and Darcy felt the thrill rush through her.

She moved down, nipping at his chin before ducking to kiss his neck, smelling his sweet musk behind his ear, her hands gliding down to his waistband.

She pushed him with her hands further into the couch.

“Yes. Yes, there are number of directions it could go –”

He managed to not audibly react when her hand reached inside his underwear, but Darcy could see his eyes flash with heat.

“- but that’s not a big concern, not yet.”

She pulled him out, his eyes glued to her as she began to stroke his cock. He was already hard, feeling hot and heavy in her hand.

She leaned in for another kiss, their tongues tangling, her hand pumping him hard and fast. She could hear he was sticky, she could feel it when she rubbed the tip of him with her thumb. 

“Understandable, sir. Yes.”

She broke away, setting herself down on the floor, her face level with his crotch. She ducked down to run her tongue along the underside of him, Steve’s hand coming down to grip her shoulder.

“Uh-huh,” she heard him murmur, and then she took him in her mouth to the back of her throat.

She pulled back with a happy sigh, pumping him, checking his face. His mouth fell open as he listened, his eyes meeting hers.

She kept her eyes open, wrapping her lips around him again, moving down, taking what she could until she felt her gag reflex nag at her. She kept working him over in greedy sucks, closing her eyes. She felt his hand move from her shoulder to cup her cheek.

“That’s not… I’m not sure if… _Yeah_ …”

She looked up, seeing his eyes had shut, his brow furrowed. He was overcome, and it was intensely satisfying to render a man helpless like Steve was now.

She could taste the vaguely salty taste of his precome, she could feel the ridges of his cock as she moved slower, mapping him out with her tongue.

“I understand. Yes. Yeah,” he managed to say, after clearing his throat.

Darcy began to pick up sped again, feeling the urge to pull back and giggle. She pressed her thighs together, feeling herself become rapidly needier between her legs.

“I will follow up soon… Yes. Thank you, sir.”

She looked up, her mouth full, to see Steve hang up, his phone slipping down.

He let out a moan, gritting his teeth.

“Christ, you’re killin’ me,” he hissed, and Darcy finally pulled back, gasping.

“Can’t have that.”

“Get up here,” he said, and she shook her head, moving back down to suck on him, louder and messier than before.

They watched one another. What Darcy’s movements lacked in finesse she made up for in enthusiasm, and Steve couldn’t keep quiet the further she went.

“If you don’t stop, I’ll make you stop,” he threatened. “I’ll – _fuckin’ hell_ , your mouth…”

“Mmm,” she replied, pulling back with a loud pop. “You sure you want me to stop?”

He yanked her up and she let out a surprised giggle, Steve’s body turning so he pulled her under him, pressing her into the couch, his hands tugging down her underwear while she shoved his boxer briefs further down his broad thighs.

With her underwear on the floor and his soon after, he tugged at her shirt, kissing her roughly when he managed to reach her again, her legs resting on his shoulders.

“Oh, my God,” she gasped, when he sunk into her, filling her to the hilt with a few short thrusts.

He captured her in another kiss, his hips beginning to move. He pulled out and slammed into her, Darcy’s moan muffled as she cried out.

It had never been like this before. By comparison, the other time he was gentle. He took from her now, pinning her beneath him, sucking the air out of her.

“I was on the phone to the DOJ,” he said, and Darcy felt a giggle bubble up. “You think that’s funny, sucking me off while I’m on the phone?”

God, hearing him say that out loud, his voice all rough in her ear drove her nuts and she moaned, nodding as he pounded into her.

“I wanted it, I wanted you,” she gasped, and he chuckled, sucking her neck a second later. “I wanted to suck your cock.”

“Fuck…”

“I wanna do it again…”

She began to wail, unable to keep it in any more, the merciless smacking of his flesh into hers the only other sound. She squeezed him tighter, her nails digging into his arms.

His mouth moved up, their noses brushing, his warm pant on her lips.

“Wanna take care of you first,” he whispered, and she felt his hand move between them, rubbing her clit while his hips never slowed.

She clamped down on him and she was lost, going still, sure she was vibrating out of her own body. By the time it was over, she could hear he was close, too, his panting more frantic.

She moved back, almost toppling over as she managed to wriggle out from under him before kneeling again, reaching for him to wrap her mouth around him once more, bobbing her head fast while he moaned long and loud.

His come hit the back of her throat, his whole body taut. She licked it all away, swallowing what she could before pulling back. They both panted, Steve tugging her back up again to hold her, their skin sticky with sweat and arousal.

Her whole body was slack, slumping in his arms as their breathing began to slow, his hands in her hair while he kissed her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **sarahbeniel** : nobody ever said No to a smut filler chapter
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	18. xviii. Burger Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cutesy-smutty factor is about to go up by 1000%, I hope you enjoy. ❤

_You're the only one I want by my side when I fall asleep_   
_Tell me what I'm waiting for_   
_Tell me what I'm waiting for_   
_I know it's hard, but we need each other_

**\- "SUGAR" by BROCKHAMPTON**

**xviii. Burger Prince**

The rest of the weekend was spent that way, together in Brooklyn. It helped that it snowed a lot, the outside world less appealing.

Darcy took it as the universe telling her to stay in bed, and she was more than happy to. It felt like they were making up for lost time, not that she’d ever regret their earlier stages of friendship. This added to it. She felt on top of the world… at least until she knew work was waiting for them back at the Tower.

She arrived at the labs on Monday morning, literally dragging her feet as she shuffled through the glass door, having kissed Steve goodbye on her way through. She wished she could call in sick, but Jane would immediately be suspicious. Another downside to working for your best friend – she was privy to things like you spending two days straight in bed with your new boyfriend, physically very healthy.

“Don’t give me that look,” Jane said, when Darcy pouted at her when she lifted her head from her stack of papers. “I haven’t seen Thor in nine weeks. I am not feeling sorry for you at all.”

“He knows it’s ten days out from Christmas, right?” Darcy said, pulling off her coat. She wore a red turtleneck today, feeling too aware of the marks Steve left on her neck and cleavage.

Not everyone could heal fast like he did. He had a spring in his step but no other obvious signs of what he got up to.

Jane looked grumpy, shrugging. “Whatever. Oh, Ito and Brewer sent through a message before.”

Darcy felt her heart in her throat, her eyes widening.

“Nothing exciting,” Jane added, holding up a hand to halt Darcy from jumping to any conclusions. “They need to see you about a leak.”

“Oh, great,” Darcy groaned, throwing her head back as she rolled her eyes. “So I haven’t got the job and they think I’m going to the press about the liaison job.”

“Think about it from their perspective,” Jane said, and Darcy shot her a withering look. “I know you hate me playing Devil’s Advocate, but who else could benefit from it? If you tell the press you’re getting promoted, SHIELD have questions to ask about why you haven’t been promoted if it goes the other way.”

“The questions they should be asking are, why are you guys totally lame? Why are you cockblocks? Why are your Christmas parties snooze-fests?”

Jane folded her arms and Darcy sighed.

“Fine. I’m Johann,” she muttered, and Jane tilted her head, puzzled. “As in, Johann Sebastian Bach. _I’ll be Bach_ , get it?”

“That’s terrible. Never speak to me ever again,” Jane said, but a smirk was forming on her face. She handed her a piece of paper with the message on it.

Darcy walked out, grabbing her coat on the way. She pressed a button for the elevator and waited, looking down at Jane’s chicken scratch.

She rode up to level three and asked for Agent Ito, only for him to appear within seconds of her arriving at the receptionist’s desk.

“Darcy. Can we talk?”

“Yes,” she said, feeling her cheeks heat. “Sure.”

She followed him down the narrow hallway. She took off her beanie and tried to pat her hair down, aware that she looked drastically different compared to the last time she was there.

“I didn’t recognise the person at the front desk, I thought maybe the Agent from last time –”

“We let her go,” came another voice, and Agent Brewer appeared, walking alongside them.

“I’m confused,” Darcy blurted, and they stopped at the conference room, Ito’s hand gesturing for her to move in first.

Tony Stark was sitting facing the door, a smile spreading on his face.

“Lewis.”

“Tony,” Darcy said, and she glanced at Ito and Brewer. “What is this?”

“Agent Michaels was fired for breaching her NDA,” Tony said, getting up, and Darcy frowned. “She’s the leak.”

“Jane said –”

“I wanted to see the look on your face,” Tony said. “Congratulations.”

He offered her hand and Darcy stared down at it, gaping.

“You… are meant to shake it,” he said, and she looked at Ito.

“He’s fucking with me,” she said, and Tony laughed. Her cheeks flushed again. “Pardon my language, sir, but why… why me?”

“You’re qualified,” Brewer answered.

She finally moved to shake Tony’s hand, feeling strange.

“Are you sure?” she said, and Tony shrugged.

“Put it this way. The medium is the message,” Brewer added, his brow lifting.

Darcy frowned, wondering what on Earth he meant. The medium is the message? Tony Stark, alone, in a conference room?

“He’s my boss?” she blurted. “What happened to me being a _liaison_?”

“Technically my name is on the building,” Tony stage-whispered, before stuffing his hands into his pockets. He glanced at Ito and Brewer. “We’re good here. I’ve got papers for her to sign.”

Darcy watched them leave and then glared at Tony.

“You should be celebrating!” he said, holding up a hand. “No? Okay, then. I need your blood.”

She was handed a pen and she assessed the papers Tony had laid out for her.

“It’s your basic run-of-the-mill, y’know, if you try to fuck us over we’re obligated to kill you –”

Darcy met his gaze, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

“- I think you’re allowed to request how you’d be taken out, though.”

“Obviously choked out by Romanoff’s thighs,” Darcy muttered, and Tony laughed. She signed at the bottom, pocketing the pen. “And I’m keeping this.”

“Your first act of business?” Tony said, and Darcy rose an eyebrow.

“Well, since the aforementioned spy is currently in Europe and it’s December 15th, I’m gonna postpone any major meetings or events,” she said, and Tony smirked. “If that’s alright with you, _boss_.”

“Oh, you’re gonna regret calling me that,” he said, taking the papers and folding them, chuckling.

“I’m regretting all of this already,” she threw back. She took out her phone and began composing a text to Steve before firing it off.

_I got the job._

“How is Cap?” Tony asked, and Darcy put her phone away, giving him a long stare. “He mention anything about Kazakhstan?”

“Wasn’t really on our minds,” she muttered. She watched Tony smirk at that. “Y’know what? That’s not something we discuss anymore. Not… that part of Steve.”

“Okay,” Tony said. “I wouldn’t be surprised that comes up a lot despite your best attempts at divorcing those two aspects of your relationship.”

“I’ve never worked with him before, but I get the feeling it’s no worse than the press we’ve done this month.”

“I would not… be thinking that so soon,” Tony said carefully.

Darcy frowned. “Whatever.”

They walked out of the conference room and she pressed the button for the elevator. When it dinged, she nearly ran straight into Steve, who’d lit up at the sight of her.

“Hey,” he began, and then he noticed Tony and his smile faltered a little. “I mean, hi, you two.”

“You two can take the next one,” Tony said, and he ducked into the elevator, pressing a button. He looked at Darcy pointedly. “Lewis. Welcome, I promise it’s all downhill from here.”

“You’re not my dad,” Darcy said, and Steve’s lips quirked.

“Alright,” Tony replied, the doors beginning to close. “I’m not gonna unpack that one right now…”

Left alone, Steve turned to her, pulling her into a hug.

“I got your message,” he murmured, and he kissed her cheek.

Darcy had watched him shave that morning in his bathroom, and she could smell his aftershave still lingering on his skin. She kissed his neck in return.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, and he pulled back to cup her cheek.

“For now,” she said. “But thanks.”

He kissed her on the mouth and she sighed, closing her eyes. She did feel good. She was trying not to read too much into why she was chosen. If it was nepotism, she’d be determined to prove she was deserving of the role, whatever this new role was.

When she pulled away from the kiss, Steve’s eyes were darker and she smirked.

“You pleased with yourself?” he whispered, stroking her cheek.

“Not nearly enough,” she retorted, and he chuckled, a low rumble that went right between her legs.

Her fingers curled into his shirt as he kissed her again with more heat, their tongues tangling. They shuffled toward the elevator and Darcy pressed the button. They only broke apart when the doors opened, and luckily it was an empty car again that they could slip into. Darcy’s hand hovered over the numbers, her eyes meeting Steve’s.

“Your place?” Steve asked, and she grinned.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, you got a sec?” he said, and she giggled.

“I was hoping for better staying power than a _second_ , Grandpa,” she retorted, and she saw his eyes flash, his arm wrapping around her waist to tug her closer.

She managed to hit her floor’s number and the doors closed. Halfway up, they stopped for a few Agents to pour in, both of them trying not to laugh, their hands joined. Darcy dissolved into a giggle when they ducked out of the elevator, her hand in her bag to grab her keys.

Steve pressed up behind her, kissing her neck. By the time she got them inside, he was picking her up.

Darcy couldn’t stop laughing, because it all felt so good, and Steve’s enthusiasm was flattering. He gathered her in his arms and threw her over his shoulder, walking down the hallway and into her bedroom.

It was longer than a quickie. Darcy supposed her teasing before had only encouraged Steve to be almost torturously thorough with her, his head between her thighs for twenty minutes before he finally pushed inside her.

Darcy felt drunk, too hot for December, filled to the hilt and moaning under him as he fucked her hard and fast with the precision of a metronome.

Afterwards, when he was flopped down beside her on her mattress, he glanced around with a frown, both of them still panting.

“Do you ever make your bed?”

“Hey, shut up,” she said, slapping his chest. He caught her hand and kissed her fingers. “I’ll have you know it’s rare to make one’s bed on par with Army regulations. Not everyone is as anally retentive as you…”

“You lost me at anal,” Steve said, and Darcy began to laugh, his joke surprising her.

She rolled over to kiss him, crowding him into the mattress.

“Yeah?” she whispered, and he gave a little shrug. “Just when I think I’ve got you figured out…”

He caught her in another kiss and she moaned at the possessiveness of it, still feeling looser from before, the air smelling of sex.

He broke away first, glancing at her mouth.

“We could go on a date,” he said, and she nodded. “Like regular people. No cameras.”

“Oh, yeah?” Darcy replied. “And then anal?”

“You said it, sweetheart,” Steve said, the heat rising in his cheeks. “Not me…”

Neither of them were in any hurry to leave her apartment, and sometime later Darcy was redressing, checking her phone.

 _“Miss Lewis ---”_  
  
“Oh, Jesus Christ!” Darcy yelped, clutching her chest, glancing around.

“It’s JARVIS,” Steve said, and she nodded, her eyes still wide. “Tony’s AI.”

_“Miss Lewis, I was confirming I was functioning at ideal capacity for you. Mister Stark’s override granted me access to your living quarters.”_

“Right,” Darcy said, passing a hand over her face, her heart still hammering in her chest. “Thank you, uh, JARVIS.”

Steve was buckling his pants, trying not to laugh. Darcy slapped his arm.

_“Miss Lewis, Doctor Foster is requesting your presence –”_

“I’m sure she is,” Darcy muttered.

_“Also, Captain Rogers is expected on Level 12…”_

“Yeah, okay,” Steve said, and he glanced at Darcy.

They kissed and Darcy pouted, frowning.

“Work.”

“ _Fuck_ work,” she whispered, and he shook his head.

“I gotta pretend I’m responsible, at least until five o’clock,” he murmured, kissing her again. “Though ‘fuck work’ sounds like fun. More of what just happened, I hope.”

“You sound so fucking old,” Darcy said, and he smiled.

“Yeah, how old am I?”

“You’re so old you knew Burger King when he was Burger Prince,” she murmured. “Maybe you won’t get that one. Burger King is –”

“I know what Burger King is, sweetheart,” he retorted. “I’m taking you out to dinner later, okay? So go downstairs and work. So _I_ can work.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes, still smiling. “I have mixed feelings about your bossiness.”

“Don’t,” he said, and she grinned wider. “Or I’ll never leave this goddamn bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Bach line you can have, not that you want it, it's mine lol...
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	19. xix. 3,200 miles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I've been busy the last couple of days with a brand new kitten in my family. I'm hoping to give you a chapter count with the next update and I'm hoping to have this story finished by Christmas. Thank you everyone for reading and sticking with this story! ❤

_You're so golden_  
_I'm out of my head, and I know that you're scared_  
_Because hearts get broken_

**\- "Golden" by Harry Styles**

**xix. 3,200 miles**

“JARVIS, what is the meaning of life?”

Jane bounced a highlighter off of Darcy’s shoulder, shooting her a look.

“Stop pestering the A.I.”

“It’s a pressing question,” Darcy retorted, unable to stop a mischievous grin spreading across her face. “JARVIS?”

_“That is an incredibly loaded question, Miss Lewis –”_

“Ha!” Jane said, throwing her head back.

_“May I suggest some philosophy titles for your Christmas wish list?”_

“You may,” Darcy said.

She was still familiarizing herself with the disembodied voice of her A.I. that followed her all through the Tower. She also had her phone upgraded with the new tech. Though she knew it wasn’t a real person who helped her and spoke to her, she believed it may be possible to have an A.I. with a legitimate personality. She appreciated he was beginning to grasp her sense of humor.

“Level something for me, JARVIS,” she said, picking up the highlighter to toss it back at Jane. “What’s with the British accent?”

_“I am modeled off of someone Mister Stark knew growing up.”_

“Oh?” Darcy said, her interest peaking. “I’ll try not to read too much into that.”

_“He worked for the Starks as a butler.”_

Darcy made a face. “Oh, no. I would have preferred you being a dude he had a crush on when he was away at boarding school or something like that…”

She gave a wistful sigh, making Jane snort. “Perhaps a lingering glance across a hallway, yearning for years at a time, hands holding under desks…”

_“Sorry to disappoint, Miss Lewis.”_

“You can un-disappoint me by checking if –”

_“As you inquired earlier, Doctor Banner is still not answering calls. I can leave another message.”_

“Well, fuck me, right?” Darcy muttered.

It was only the day after she found out she was the new Avengers liaison and she was already having issues with handling her new colleagues. Bruce was incommunicado – which apparently was a common occurrence. He didn’t like people knowing where he was. Clint was in Ohio with his family for Christmas, while Nat was in Croatia. Thor was literally off Planet Earth while Steve and Tony remained in New York.

Darcy cleared her throat. “It’s fine. Leave another message, say that I am requesting if he would be so kind to let me know if he’s dead or not. That’d be… awesome.”

She met Jane’s eye and her boss’ eyebrows hiked.

“You told me I was good for this job,” she said, and Jane shrugged.

They lapsed into silence and Darcy sighed, moving back to her desk. She was already behind before she got the new role. Having two jobs now meant flipping between the two, and she needed to get back to reading about Kazakhstan.

“Why do I get the feeling that this is like me being the only one doing the class reading?” she muttered. “Steve never mentions this.”

“Doesn’t he have a photographic memory?” piped up Jane, and Darcy gave another sigh.

“Yeah…”

-

Darcy couldn’t stop giggling, covering her mouth with her hand as Steve looked at the ceiling, shaking his head.

She wasn’t able to process his new appearance in a mature way. She’d managed a more forgiving disguise of a simple curly blonde bob while Steve rocked a thick moustache and long beard, his thick sunglasses masking the bright blue of his eyes.

“Would you stop?” he said, and Darcy made a wounded sound.

“You look like… ZZ Top,” she gasped, and he pushed down the sunglasses, staring her down.

“You’re saying that name like I should know –”

“It’s not a good thing!” she said, dissolving into a cackle.

“Well, your wig looks like ramen noodles,” he retorted, and Darcy snorted, covering her mouth.

She had to look away, grabbing him by the wrist to tug him into the elevator doors when they finally opened. They weren’t alone as several agents already occupied the car, so Darcy kept her hand clamped over her mouth until they reached the lobby a couple minutes later.

She threw her head back and cackled as they walked hand-in-hand.

There was a distinct change in the atmosphere as they walked through Central Park. Being anonymous meant Darcy wasn’t looking around to check if they were recognized. Everyone else seemed to be in their own world.

When Steve leaned down to kiss her, Darcy pulled back, shaking her head.

“I can’t,” she said, another giggle surfacing.

Steve rubbed her nose with his. “Why not?”

“Some other dude’s hair all up in my mouth…” she murmured, but then she tilted her head to brush his lips with hers.

It tickled and she drew back, both of them making a face.

“Ew,” she said, rubbing her mouth with her hand like a child afraid of cooties. “Maybe later, if you get some mulled wine into me.”

They reached the ice skating rink that Darcy had hyped up for him since yesterday when he told her they’d go on a date ‘like regular people’. It was naturally busy, the icy weather not deterring the crowd that skated in the large circle of ice in the middle of the park.

Darcy paid for their skate hire and put on an extra pair of thick socks before lacing up her boots, glancing around at the crowd.

“You ready to fall on your ass?” she said, and Steve grinned at her.

“Are you?” he threw back.

“Sure,” she replied, and she manage to stand with some difficulty, her ankles wobbling.

They moved toward the ledge and Steve stepped off with ease, causing her to huff.

“Show off.”

He glided away as Darcy gingerly moved across the ice, her hand on the side. She watched as Steve began to glide in the circle, lapping her by the time she managed to stand properly without the support.

“You want help?”

Darcy shot him an irritated look, feeling stubborn. She shook her head, moving carefully. Some children much smaller than her were skating past without trouble and Steve smirked behind his beard and Darcy fought the urge to flip him off. She knew if she did that, the movement would cause her to topple over.

He moved up beside her, grabbing her hand and her elbow to keep her in place.

“You got it,” he murmured, and then he tugged her along.

“Steve, _Steve!_ ” she yelped, her stomach dropping. “Please!”

“I won’t let you fall,” he said, calm as ever. “You’re okay.”

She took deep breaths, attempting to glide, pushing forward. They were going painfully slow, but she was enjoying the way he kept her steady, his eyes warm. He’d taken off his glasses and she could see his familiar baby blues.

They went around the rink a few times and she began to get used to it, and she felt a smile creep up on her, her hand in Steve’s as they glided faster.

“I’m gonna try it alone,” she said, and she began to unfurl her fingers, pulling away from him.

She managed three whole seconds alone at the same speed before she went down, her butt breaking her fall as she let out a surprised squeak. Her wig fell forward and she couldn’t see, pushing it out of her eyes as she tried to get herself back up.

“You alright?” Steve asked, looming over her with his hand outstretched for her to grab.

His eyes were bright with mirth but he didn’t tease her, though she was sure he was tempted to. She took his hand and he wrenched her upright, helping her with her wig before leaning in to kiss her again.

“Still gross?”

“I don’t mind so much,” Darcy replied, smiling into the kiss.

They broke apart and he nodded at the little booth on the other side of the rink.

“C’mon, I’ll buy ya a drink.”

They sat together in the bleachers, Darcy’s hands wrapped around her hot chocolate while Steve sipped his own, their breaths in the frigid air as they spoke.

“You read that intel yet?” she asked, and Steve met her gaze.

“Yeah.”

“I should go over it with you, and with the others when I can –”

“It’s alright,” he replied. He tapped a finger to his temple. “I got it.”

“Hmm,” she replied, though she didn’t need convincing. “I may have heard about that photographic memory of yours. Must be interesting to have. Useful.”

She thought of several moments between them that she’d love to remember for all time, and it must have shown on her face, because Steve leaned in to kiss her, his eyes flashing with heat.

He pulled back, licking his lips before drinking more hot chocolate.

“It is,” he finally replied.

He was glancing over at the crowd of people and his smile faltered. Darcy studied him, wondering what he was thinking.

“Steve?”

He didn’t reply, and he didn’t blink. He ducked his gaze to his lap, letting out a breath.

“Steve,” she said, reaching for him, touching his face. “Where’d you go?”

He eventually moved his head back up, looking her in the eye. Her question became _when_ , not _where_ did he go – though she didn’t ask it out loud.

“You okay?” she murmured, and he nodded, a frown forming.

“I looked at the ice too long, I guess. Made me think of –”

He cut himself off, shaking his head. Darcy squeezed his hand but he’d gone quiet. She didn’t want to push so instead she changed the subject.

-

Darcy had her feet up on her desk with her nose in her phone when Tony walked into the labs, Jane already on her way out.

Darcy’s boss was too absorbed in what she was reading to acknowledge Tony, who seemed quieter than usual.

“What brings you to my lair?” Darcy murmured.

“You know who foot the bill for that desk?” he said, and she glanced up from her phone, bored. “Take your feet off.”

“Jesus,” she muttered, obeying him with an elaborate roll of her eyes, slamming her feet down.

He glanced over at the closed lab doors and then back at Darcy.

“I need a favor.”

Her brows lifted and he put up a hand in warning.

“I’m not allowed to gloat?” she said, putting down her phone as she crossed her arms. “What would you even need help with?”

“It’s Pepper,” he began and Darcy blinked. “I’m having an issue with all the…”

He waved his hand, his sentence trailing off.

“So, I need you to pick something up for me. We weren’t supposed to be doing gifts. I distinctly remember having that conversation with Pepper, but I know she’ll be getting me something –”

“Maybe stick with that,” Darcy cut in, and he frowned, exasperated. “Don’t buy into the whole consumerism of Christmas.”

“Hey, Trotsky!” Tony said, eyes wider. “You’re the one with your desk covered in decorations.”

He pointed at the new sign pointing toward the window that read _North Pole, 3,200 miles._

“Also, that’s not North. North is that way,” he said, pointing to the left. “I can pay you to do this.”

She watched him take out a money clip and she tilted her head, trying to guess just how much he had on him. He held up a $100 bill and she moved to take it from him but he snatched it back.

“You don’t tell Pepper I got you to do this,” he added, and she narrowed her eyes, taking the money and throwing it on her desk.

She picked up her phone again, shrugging. “What’s the theme?”

“What?”

“The theme. What does Pepper like? What’s a no-go zone?”

Tony shrugged.

“You don’t know?” Darcy said, and Tony moved to leave.

“Come up with something and then have JARVIS send me the bill…”

He turned his back to her, heading toward the door.

Darcy stood up, looking down at the money.

“Hold on,” she called, and Tony paused, eyebrows hiked again. “You’re asking me to buy a present for your significant other _on top_ of me proofreading research papers for Jane, as well as the event I’m going to tonight with Steve.”

Tony rolled his eyes.

“You know, I could fire you,” he said, and she scoffed.

“Okay. You wanna set up more job interviews? I’m sure you could grab an intern from upstairs.”

“Why are you making this difficult?” he said.

“Because you have pretty high standards for someone who has no other option,” she retorted, folding her arms. “You have to do better than that.”

He sighed, coming back over. He took out the money clip again, pausing for thought.

“You shouldn’t flash that cash around me,” Darcy said, and he met her gaze, brows lifting.

He took the notes out of the clip, counting.

“There’s eleven-hundred here.”

“Gimme all of it,” she said, holding out her hand.

“Jesus,” he hissed, slapping it into her open palm and she grinned.

“The clip, too,” she said, clicking her fingers and he obliged.

She grabbed her bag from the floor and took out her wallet, stuffing the notes inside as Tony watched her.

“That’s not covering the present, by the way,” she said, putting her bag away. “This is my fee for keeping quiet if I run into Pepper anytime soon.”

“That’s extortion,” he said, and she shrugged.

He narrowed his eyes at her, backing toward the door once more.

“This better be worth it.”

“I could have said that whatever you came up with would’ve been fine,” she said, flashing a triumphant smile. “Because it’s the thought that counts.”

He made a face of pure irritation and Darcy giggled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Tony** : No-one is more annoying than me!  
>  **Darcy** : Hold my beer
> 
> Next time - Darcy and Steve at a gala and people MIGHT FINALLY USE THE 'L' WORD!
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	20. xx. Good sport

_No matter what you say or what you do,_   
_When I'm alone I'd rather be with you_   
**\- "3005" by Childish Gambino**

**xx. Good sport**

Darcy answered the door in her robe, seeing Steve standing there minus the beard from their last date. He beamed at her, leaning in to kiss her hello.

“Hey,” he said, his eyes warm. “Thought I’d swing by instead of waitin’ downstairs. That okay?”

“More than okay,” Darcy replied.

She knew she was laying the affection on thick. It helped that she had Steve to break up the stressors of her day. They’d both been so busy all day, unable to see one another until now. Darcy moved back through her apartment to her bathroom, taking her seat in front of the mirror again to keep applying makeup.

Steve leaned against the doorway, his arms folded as he watched her. He wore his suit already with his winter coat over the top. Darcy smirked as his eyes dropped when she pushed down her robe off her shoulders to avoid getting powder on it.

Darcy’s strapless push-up bra was doing wonders for her chest. She grabbed a pouf from a little box in her makeup drawer and began dusting a fine glitter on her shoulders and décolletage, Steve’s eyes following her movements with mounting interest.

“Tony came by the labs,” she began.

Steve was distracted. “Hmm?”

“Tony,” she said, “He came by the labs. Gave me the task of buying Pepper’s Christmas present.”

She put the pouf back, her eyes meeting Steve’s in the mirror. She pointed at him.

“That’s top secret.”

“Who am I gonna tell?” he replied, and she smirked. “You got any ideas?”

“No,” she murmured, studying her face. She picked up her eyeliner pen and leaned forward, her hand poised to start drawing. “And I’ve got no time as it is.”

She went quiet as she carefully began to line her left eye, holding her breath. She appreciated that Steve understood the importance of being quiet at that moment. He only began to speak when she moved back, inspecting her line.

“What do you want for Christmas?” he asked, and Darcy’s brows hiked.

“Didn’t think you’d be getting me a present. You got me Lil’ Cap already.”

“That was just so you’d stop being a pain in my ass,” Steve retorted, and Darcy grinned.

“I’ll never stop being a pain in your ass,” she replied, and he chuckled.

“Right,” he murmured. “Still, I’d want to give you something.”

Darcy didn’t have much interest in people giving her presents. Even with hints and wishlists, for the most part, people got it wrong. She didn’t mind money in envelopes, or gift cards. She liked giving more than receiving presents.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, leaning forward to do her other eye.

Steve watched her work, waiting until she put the pen away, moving toward her to kiss her neck.

“C’mon, what’re you dying to get?” he whispered, and Darcy shook her head.

“Nothing,” she said.

He watched her apply mascara and her fake lashes, before she dropped her robe to the floor.

“Whoa, hey,” she heard Steve breathe and she felt her face flush under his stare.

She was wearing a skimpy thong that matched her maroon satin bra. She wasn’t a fan of the concept but she knew that it looked good, and she knew she wouldn’t get away with wearing her usual boyleg underwear with the dress she was about to put on.

She moved past him into the bedroom, taking the dress out of the dry cleaning bag it hung in behind her door. Steve waited for her in the hallway as she pulled the dress on.

“What do you want for Christmas, then?” she called.

She smoothed down the material of the dress, glad that it was creaseless.

“Nothing,” he said, and Darcy chuckled.

She opened her door again, revealing Steve, whose eyes fell to her dress. The rich red of its colour contrasted perfectly with her pale skin, matching her bright red lipstick and nails. Darcy broke into a smile, gesturing to the way the neckline gathered into a bow on one shoulder, her other shoulder bare and shimmering in the light.

“I’m the present,” Darcy said, and Steve smiled.

“That you are.”

He moved toward her, lifting his hands to touch her face, but she sidestepped him, holding up a finger.

“Nuh-uh,” she warned. “You’ll mess up my makeup.”

“Who said I have to be kissing you when I tear your dress off?” he retorted, and Darcy made a show of gaping at him, pretending to be shocked.

“ _Excuse_ me,” she said, and he pressed his lips together, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “The cheek! The _nerve_ –”

“Alright,” Steve said, his hands dropping to her waist, stepping closer to her.

Darcy glided her hands up his front to wrap her arms around his neck, giggling as he narrowed his eyes at her.

“You can’t blame me,” he went on, and Darcy mimicked his narrowed gaze teasingly. “Wanting to make up for all the time I spent _not_ doing that.”

“Horny old man,” she whispered, and his hand slid down to grab a generous handful of her butt.

-

The gala was an extravagant affair put on by the Mayor’s office. Darcy posed with Steve at her side at the entrance to the event, her long hair over one shoulder with Steve’s arm wrapped firmly around her waist.

It was different in so many ways, the main reason being that they were only pretending before, and now it was real. Darcy hadn’t spent a lot of time telling Steve exactly what she felt about him, but she hoped it showed, in gestures and other ways.

He always kept a hand on her throughout the night, either on her waist or with their fingers thread. All they were expected to do was mingle with the people who came by. Darcy only saw Tony hanging around with Pepper in the background, the couple never coming closer to them.

They were swamped with strangers’ eyes and Darcy felt too nervous to do much but smile and wave or shake hands. She didn’t like this feeling of being vulnerable. At least when she was faking it before she didn’t have to read into every little moment, every comment that was made. She’d managed to create a distance between herself and the public, but now she couldn’t anymore.

“Darcy, hi!” came a familiar voice that filled Darcy with dread.

It was Angelica Kogen, the woman who tore Darcy a new one for making out with Captain America in public for the whole world and God to see them…

Standing there now dripping in diamonds and a silver dress, she looked like the embodiment of an ice queen. She wasn’t alone, there was the man Darcy suspected to be her supportive husband latched to her elbow. He wasn’t what she expected, which was a retired football player – instead, he looked perfectly ordinary, with rimless glasses. He looked like someone’s dentist.

“Hi,” she replied, stepping closer to take Angelica’s hand and then the man’s beside her. “It’s good to meet you.”

“I’m so glad you’re a good sport,” Angelica said with a megawatt grin.

Maybe her husband actually _was_ a dentist.

“Oh, well,” Darcy said, keeping her smile in place. “It’s Christmas.”

She felt herself cringe inwardly at her own choice of words but the Kogens began to laugh, the husband adding:

“But enough about work!”

Darcy hated the false laugh she gave, and she noted that Steve was either incapable or chose not to indulge as well. Angelica’s smile faltered for a second, her hand outstretched to Steve.

“I’m a huge fan,” she said.

“Can’t say the same,” he retorted, and Darcy glanced at him, her eyes wide. “No offense, ma’am.”

“None taken,” Angelica replied, but it was obvious she did it take it to heart, the hand Steve didn’t shake going to rest on her hip. She gave a short laugh that lacked warmth. “I thought you were all about free speech. This is America, after all.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, and Darcy could see in his eyes that he was barely containing his disgust. “I’m told I’m just a grumpy old man for the most part, but back in my day fascists were called fascists.”

“Right,” Angelica said, and Darcy thought she might see her wisdom teeth by how wide she was smiling. “But I like to represent all sides of the political spectrum.”

“I don’t recall you mentioning the veteran’s shelter Darcy and I were at a few days ago,” Steve said. “You only tend to mention us when you’re trying to make a point about the left and how we need to preserve the sanctity of Christmas in these godless times –”

“I guess it was too soon to call you a good sport, Captain Rogers,” Angelica cut in. “But that’s alright. We can agree to disagree.”

“You think Nazis are just another opinion everyone’s entitled to,” Steve said, and her smile finally vanished, which only spurred him on. “You’re promoting the scum of the earth while people have their morning coffee.”

Darcy glanced at Mr. Kogen, who looked annoyed, this mouth a thin line.

Steve let out a humorless chuckle. “I’m sorry, was that mean? To the Nazis?”

Darcy found her feet, grabbing his hand and steering him away before another word could be said. They weaved through the crowd until they met the wall, and Darcy turned to Steve, inspecting him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said, his jaw ticking. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do the grandstandin’…”

“Are you kidding?” Darcy said, and he blinked at her. “You’re incredible. I never would have done that. I felt like such a fake back there. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think –”

“As the liaison, I’m sure you know how much damage I’ve inflicted on the team from that outburst alone,” he muttered, but he was smiling at her a little. “You’re gonna have a PR nightmare.”

Darcy scoffed and he chuckled.

“Who gives a fuck?” she whispered.

He kept glancing at her mouth, his hand squeezing hers.

“We took so long to…”

“What?” she said, and he smiled a little wider, leaning closer to her.

“I’ll ruin your lipstick…”

“I don’t care,” she said, and he kissed her.

Her stomach flipped as he pushed into her mouth with his tongue, a neediness to it that made her grip him tighter in return. When he pulled back his eyes rested on her mouth once more.

“Smudge-proof,” she whispered. “I only told you before not to get too worked up because I wanted there to be some type of anticipation.”

He cupped her jaw and she loved his eyelashes up close, so long and beautiful.

“What were you saying before?” she asked. “We took so long to what?”

“Do this,” he whispered. “You’d think I’d’ve learned my lesson.”

Alluding to Peggy always triggered the same reaction in Darcy. She mentally drew up a list of all her strengths and weaknesses with Peggy Carter’s beside them. She always came up short. She made herself nod, not wanting to ruin this moment with Steve.

She couldn’t help thinking of something so obvious – that Peggy would never do this. She’d never fake her way through an evening with New York’s elite.

“What happened at the rink?” she murmured, and Steve’s smile faltered. “Who were you thinking of then?”

He dropped his hand, his throat working as he swallowed.

“I’m sorry,” she said, feeling her stomach drop, the atmosphere so suddenly chilled. “I shouldn’t bring that up without warning.”

“It’s fine,” he replied. “It wasn’t… I mean, I think I saw men in the snow, like in Italy.”

Darcy nodded though he wasn’t looking at her anymore.

“Just feels like the second I get used to somethin’, the past just…”

She nodded again, squeezing his hand. “It’s okay.”

She wished she had something decent to say, but she had no idea what he was going through. No-one really did.

As she watched him now, she could see ghosts were filling his mind’s eye. She was a stark reminder of a time so much further from what he was familiar to.

She wondered what the hell he saw in her.

Someone touched her arm and Darcy glanced toward the source, seeing a governor’s wife from the Stark Foundation gala. She was wearing pearls and matching earrings and beamed at Darcy, absolutely clueless to what was going on.

“You again, I’m so glad I found you,” she said, and Darcy leaned toward her to offer her cheek to kiss.

When they were eventually left alone again, Darcy knew she should have stayed in her apartment with Steve instead of coming here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry, was that mean? To the Nazis?" is a line I've had in my head for two years and I'm so glad to finally use it. 
> 
> P.S. I know I promised people using the 'L' word but I guess I wanted to give you emotional maturity blue balls...
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	21. xxi. Code Silver

_Give me your love and I can make_  
_The most impossible things come true_  
_Blue shadows never, sunshine forever_  
**\- "Roses In December" by Dick Powell**

**xxi. Code Silver**

Darcy’s alarm began to fill her bedroom. She’d set it to a gradual tone that reached an irritating volume by the time she grabbed her phone to hit snooze.

She unlocked it as she rubbed her eyes, scrolling through her notifications. She felt Steve shift beside her and she remembered last night, how they left the gala soon after meeting Angelica Kogen and her husband.

She heard Steve pull in a deep breath and move up to kiss her shoulder.

“What’s with the… glockenspiel?” he mumbled, and she smirked. “Would’ve thought you’d make it Christmas music.”

“Don’t want to associate any of those songs with my morning alarm,” she replied, liking a comment that someone left on her photo with Lil’ Cap. “Don’t wanna hear it years from now in Macy’s and have an anxiety attack…”

His lips moved to her neck and she bit her lip, trying to suppress the shiver that came over her. Steve sensed it and chuckled into her skin, his hand skirting under her shirt and moving up to reach her breast. She felt his other hand on the waistband of her shorts, starting to pull them down.

“Why do you wear clothes?” he murmured, and Darcy snorted.

“Is that real question?”

He pulled down her shorts and underwear, starting to tug her shirt up.

“You don’t have to wear clothes around me,” he said, and she dropped her phone, helping him undress her the rest of the way.

She began to giggle and he turned her onto her back, both pairs of their hands pulling down his boxer briefs he slept in. He kicked them aside and his cock bobbed between them, hitting Darcy’s stomach before she took hold of him, stroking him as he clutched her thighs to push them further apart.

“Gimme a kiss,” he whispered, smiling down at her, but Darcy put her other hand up to cover his mouth, shaking her head.

“My breath –”

“I don’t care,” he said, and he pressed his lips to hers a second later, plying her mouth open with his tongue.

Darcy shut her eyes, sinking into it, her hands leaving his body to glide through his hair. She was rewarded with his soft groan, and then she felt his fingers reach between her legs and she moaned.

“Don’t tease me,” she whispered.

“I ain’t,” he replied, and she loved that, how his Brooklyn twang came through more sometimes. “Just wanna make sure…”

“I’m ready,” she said, and he chuckled, still playing with her, her hips lifting a little to meet his hand.

He watched her face as she was overcome, feeling the neediness set in, her inevitable impatience as he worked her clit with his thumb, his two fingers pushed inside her.

She tried to keep her eyes open, to try and focus on his eyes looking down at her with reverence, but she felt herself tighten up, clutching his fingers as she drew nearer to the edge. She wanted to be immersed in the feeling of being this wanted, but her body craved the release.

_“Steve…”_

She clenched, and he sealed her mouth with a kiss, her whole body trembling as she came. When he pulled back, his fingers leaving her, she sighed, reaching for his cock again.

It was intense. He made love to her with his eyes glued to hers, their foreheads together as they rocked, the blankets pushed aside as they moved. At one point, he moved back to slip out of her, turning her over onto her stomach, pushing one of her knees up to push into her from behind.

“Oh, my God,” Darcy gasped, and Steve moaned along with her, his hips knocking into her ass, his arm wrapping around her chest to hold her against him.

It felt amazing, filled to the brim, her body tingling with arousal as he began to build her up again, and he was right with her, moving faster.

His hand came up to cup her chin and he kissed her, and Darcy couldn’t keep quiet with every drag of him against her clit.

“Wanna see your face,” he whispered, panting against her mouth. “Show me…”

“Fuck,” Darcy moaned, and she went still again, her own hand pressing down between her legs, and she tensed all over.

She was floating, Steve’s hips stalling, and then he crashed along with her, spilling deep inside her. He kept her in place, somehow able to not completely collapse on top of her though Darcy felt boneless and drunk. He pulled out of her, burying his face in her pillow with his hand still resting on her rear, petting her as she groaned.

“Gotta move,” she whispered, her legs feeling useless as she pulled herself up, moving to duck out to the bathroom and clean up.

She returned to him, Steve’s arm wrapping around her waist to pull her close, his dick wet and softening between them. Darcy glanced down and chuckled, her hand squeezing his hip.

He met her gaze, heavy-lidded, his other hand stroking her face with a knuckle.

“You’ve gone all pink,” he whispered, and she smiled down at him.

“You, too.”

“Hmm…”

They were lost in one another’s gaze, until there came a loud roar of a klaxon, and Darcy jolted. Steve sat up, grabbing his underwear from inside the tangle of blankets at the end of her bed.

“JARVIS?”

_“Code silver, Captain. All available units have been alerted.”_

“Shit,” Steve hissed, and he jumped out of bed, picking up his suit pants and his undershirt, while Darcy scrambled for her phone, seeing the alert also pop up on her display.

“Active shooter?” she said, trying to recall the codes she’d had to memorize for her new title.

_“Yes, ma’am. Central Park. NYPD are already on their way. ”_

“Oh, my God,” Darcy said, thinking of all the people who could be down there, the number of possible casualties.

Steve grabbed his phone and his shoes, glancing at Darcy.

“JARVIS, I need a confirmation of weapon type and a description, you on that?”

“Yes, Captain. Agent Wilson is also en route –”

Darcy’s heart was in her throat, her body and brain feeling out of sync as everything moved too fast. Steve moved toward her, planting a quick kiss on her lips.

“I’ll see you,” he murmured. “Love you.”

She blinked, her face flushing further. “Love you, too.”

It came out as a nearly incoherent babble but Steve was preoccupied, running out of her bedroom before she could gauge his reaction. Did he even know he said that?

She heard the front door slam soon after and she grabbed her pyjamas to redress, her heart racing.

“JARVIS, I need eyes on the scene. Where’s my laptop?”

_“In the kitchen ma’am… amongst your papers.”_

She sensed the AI was trying to be polite about the mess that was her apartment, and she stalked out to the kitchen, looking over the chaos to retrieve her laptop. She opened it, pressing the screen to have it read her fingerprint, the processors whirring as it started up.

“Come on, come on…” she whispered.

It took less than a second for the screen to be flooded with a view of one of Central Park’s many entrances. It was a huge space to cover.

“JARVIS.”

_“This is where the alert came from. A concerned civilian witnessed a suspicious individual carrying a case into the park five minutes ago.”_

Darcy watched as several men she recognized as police officers barreling into the park. She thumbed through her phone contacts for Sam and pressed the call button.

“Lewis,” came Sam’s voice, and Darcy watched the feed of the park entrance be flooded with personnel as she nervously wet her lips with her tongue.

“You aerial? What can you see?”

“No sign of the suspected gunman, but there are a lot of spooked joggers and tourists…”

“Alright. You update me when you can. Hopefully –”

Her phone beeped and she pulled the phone away from her ear, seeing Tony’s name on the display.

“I have to go, I got another call. Tony?”

“Lewis!” he said, “How’s the Christmas shopping front?”

Darcy made an incredulous splutter, her eyes still glued to the footage on her laptop.

“Are you… even serious right now?”

“Calm down,” he retorted, and she could hear he was outside and possibly already flying down to the park, his tone unperturbed. “Nine times out of ten, these calls are a false alarm. People want to see what they think they see. Paranoia.”

“God, I hope you’re right,” Darcy said.

“So -?”

“So _what_?” she snapped, and she cringed. “God, get off the phone and do your fucking job, Tony. I’ll talk to you later.”

She hung up on him, letting out a frustrated growl. For the next few minutes, she gnawed at her lip as she watched the screen, her eyes darting to check her phone in her hand every ten or so seconds. She held her breath when she saw Steve’s name pop up on her display.

“Steve!”

“It was trombone case.”

Darcy let out a shaky breath, passing a hand over her face.

“Come again?”

“The old lady whose call came in – she saw a guy carrying a trombone case. He wasn’t a shooter. Poor kid nearly had a heart attack when Tony grabbed him…”

“Oh, my God,” Darcy hissed, though she was a little relieved that Tony had been right. “What happened? The NYPD got it under control?”

“For the most part,” he replied. She heard him sigh. “Except people have their phones out, recordin’ us with this kid.”

“Fuck,” Darcy hissed.

“Yeah,” Steve murmured. “I better go. I’ll come by for the debriefing. We’ll meet you back at the Tower soon.”

When Darcy hung up, she let out a sigh, the adrenaline already beginning to wear off. She felt tired and she rubbed her eyes, slamming her laptop shut.

-

“How bad is it?” she mumbled behind her hands as she cradled her face.

She was hunched over in her chair in the labs, Jane hovering by her desk to watch her monitor that was playing the morning news. She still hadn’t heard from Steve or any of the others. They were probably still wrapped up with the commotion at the park.

“It’s…”

“Jane,” she whined, and she dropped her hands.

“It’s really bad,” Jane said, lifting her mug to sip her coffee. She promptly walked away, as Darcy turned up the volume of her computer, reading the script that ran at the bottom of the screen.

_THIS IS COMING OUT OF YOUR POCKET!_

Angelica Kogen looked incensed, her perfectly arched eyebrows moving up and down as she spoke.

“Will taxpayers be footing the bill for this incident today? Yes. Is this grossly unfair? Absolutely.”

Darcy sighed.

A picture of Steve popped up and Angelica’s eyes narrowed slightly.

“On closer inspection of the footage we saw of Captain America moments ago, we can clearly see glitter on his face. Cute. You’re probably asking like I did earlier, where did this come from?”

Darcy rubbed her eyes, already knowing where this was going. They put up a photograph of herself and Steve standing beside each other last night, the light-catching glitter dusted onto her skin distinctly visible. She looked happy there, and so did Steve.

“Darcy?”

She was too distracted by Angelica Kogen’s train of thought to respond to Jane and she held up a hand for her to wait.

“So Captain America was so wrapped up in his lady friend, Little Miss Streetwalker herself, Darcy Lewis –”

“What the hell?” Darcy squawked, both hands now up. “I was _nice_ to you!”

“Darcy!”

“WHAT?” she yelled, and she glared at Jane, only to cover her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut. “I’m sorry. Jesus.”

“The printer’s doing that thing again,” Jane muttered, and Darcy wandered over to her boss, looking at the display on the machine as Jane watched Angelica Kogen, a frown deepening on her face.

“Captain America is too loved up to do his job properly, and we’re the ones paying for it,” she concluded, pointing right at the camera. “We’re going to cross live to our reporter Julian at the site of the gross incompetence this morning…”

“Why are they crossing live?” Darcy hissed, before smacking the side of the printer.

“Angelica, I _can_ confirm that Captain America is still apologizing to the boy that he and Tony Stark traumatized this morning,” came the voice of the second reporter, sounding like he had a permanently stuffed nose. “Some witnesses say that we’re lucky no-one was killed.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Darcy snapped, rolling her eyes. “What witnesses?”

“Were tears shed, Julian?” Angelica prompted, and Jane tutted.

“Yes.”

“God, these people,” Darcy muttered with a bitter chuckle. She hit the printer again. “JARVIS, what’s wrong with the printer?”

_“Perhaps rebooting would –”_

“Are you telling me to turn it off and on again?” Darcy deadpanned.

_“Yes.”_

She did as he so shrewdly advised, and it began to whir loudly before finally spitting out the paper that Jane was in the middle of printing. Darcy turned back to her desk, crossing her arms as Angelica Kogen kept blathering on, more or less blaming Steve for the state that the country was in as a whole from a psychological standpoint.

“The Greatest Generation? I don’t think Steve Rogers should be in the same category as those men.”

Darcy crossed out of the video with a growl.

“Fucking…”

She didn’t finish her sentence, instead pushed off her desk to grab another coffee, silently fuming.

-

Steve called her when she was out of the labs, wandering through a department store, the elaborate choices becoming overwhelming.

“Hey, this a good time?” he asked, and she made a soft groaning sound. “You… shopping for Pepper?”

He’d noted she’d blocked out the hour after her lunch for this expedition. She then remembered what she hadn’t been focusing on for the last few hours since that morning – what they said to one another as he was leaving.

As if sensing this as she went quiet, Steve went on:

“Are you… feeling okay? About this morning?”

“Specifically?”

“Three little words,” he said immediately, and she felt her stomach flip. “Now I’m feelin’ like a jackass for bringing this up now and not in person…”

A perfume saleswoman came toward her and Darcy shook her head fiercely, ducking away to weave through some displays of golden reindeer.

“Where are you?” she asked.

“Thought I’d give you space, considering your schedule. I don’t know how we’re meant to talk to the press.”

“ _Don’t_ ,” Darcy said, probably a little sharper than she intended. “I mean, leave it to me. Do _not_ let Tony find a microphone anytime soon.”

“He thinks this is hilarious,” Steve muttered, sounding ticked off. He sighed. “I’m sorry Kogen said all that about you.”

“It’s fine, I’m used to it,” Darcy said.

She began to walk toward the jewelry counter. She hoped maybe she could tap into Pepper’s inner Smeagol as she ran her hand along the glass, a security guard standing in her peripheral vision.

“It’s not fine, baby,” he said, and she felt herself give a little smile despite the bad feelings, distracted from her task. She pointed at a necklace and a woman came over to open the case.

“We still need to debrief,” she said, and she shook her head at the necklace that was held up for her, the clerk indicating the one beside it.

Darcy made a so-so gesture with her hand.

“Jesus. I’m stuck on ideas,” she muttered.

“See anything _you_ like?” Steve asked, and she could picture the eager look on his face.

If he was there with her, she’d melt, but luckily she was onto his game.

“You’re not getting me anything from here,” she said.

She pointed at a delicate silver watch, moving closer to squint at it when the clerk retrieved it. She gave a thumbs-up.

As she arrived back at the Tower, she was in a better mood. Not only had she managed to find something for Pepper, she also grabbed a gingerbread house making kit to possibly do later with Steve. She called for the elevator, looking down at her bags, ready to push Angelica Kogen out of her head.

What did that woman know? Nothing. Whose day was she going to ruin? Not Darcy’s…

The elevator doors opened and Darcy went still, recognizing the blonde woman who exited along with about a dozen other agents. They all wore varying shades of black and grey while Darcy wore her ugly sweater with a snowman on its front.

“Sharon,” she blurted, and Sharon Carter stopped walking, staring back at her. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she said, giving her a once-over.

She was beautiful. Darcy knew that already but she had an intelligence to her eyes, her gaze dropping to the bag Darcy held before a muted smile spread on her face.

“Been out shopping,” Darcy said, and then she wondered what Sharon saw.

Maybe she thought Steve had given her money for what she bought, since Sharon was looking at the name of the store on the bag, Darcy’s scuffed boots reflective of a much tighter budget.

“For my mom,” she added, improvising.

She flashed another smile that Sharon didn’t return in full. Darcy tried to not read into it too much, but she could see other people walking by, eyes traveling over the two women.

“Not the gingerbread house making kit,” she said, and Sharon blinked. “That’s for me and… Steve.”

“Cute,” Sharon said. “I would’ve thought you’d be up to your neck in work.”

Darcy felt her face flush and her smile dropped. She looked down at Sharon’s waist and saw the holster partially hidden by her jacket. Darcy thought about her refusal to learn to use a firearm. Her taser was currently sitting in her desk in the labs, and she hadn’t used it in a good year or so.

 _Stop it_ , she thought. _Stop being pathetic and weird. Steve loves you._

Darcy put on another smile, but it lacked warmth, and she could see Sharon read it that way by how her face changed.

“Oh, _no_ ,” she said, waving a hand. “We all know I got the job by sleeping with Steve. It’s just a title.”

Sharon blinked at her, her mouth opening.

“Darcy –”

“It’s all good,” Darcy cut in. “I’ll get back to stapling papers and my Instagram followers. See you.”

She could feel Sharon’s eyes on her when she moved past her to call the elevator once more. She slipped into the car without looking back, feeling her face burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sharon's reserved nature is for contrast purposes! We like layered women!
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	22. xxii. I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back to the dumb jokes, but who gives a shit, I'm happy!

_So can we make the most out of no time?_   
_Can you hold me?_   
_Can you make me leave my demons and my broken pieces behind?_   
**\- "WILD" by Troye Sivan**

**xxii. I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm**

Back in the labs, she wrapped Pepper’s watch and sent Tony a message for him to collect it.

_“Incoming call from Mister Stark –”_

“Put him on hold,” Darcy said, not looking up from her task. She was taping down the corners of the paper, about to whip out the ribbon.

She saw Jane smirk in the corner of her eye.

“ _He’s being quite insistent –”_

**_“Lewis, you’re being paid to answer my calls. Do I really have to override JARVIS every time I want to speak to you?”_ **

Darcy tilted her head, faking confusion.

“Speaking?”

_**“Lewis!”** _

“Is this Nick Fury?” she said, grinning now. Jane had begun to giggle. “You scallywag, Nick.”

Tony made an exasperated sound. _**“I feel a need to vent to the general public coming on! I’ll call a press conference.”**_

“What is it, Tone,” she muttered, beginning to tie the ribbon around the gift. “You better be ready to talk about what the fuck happened this morning…”

_**“Meet me up here in your office, then.”** _

“I have an office?” Darcy said, glancing at the ceiling. “For real?”

_“He’s gone, ma’am. The office space is on the ninth floor.”_

With JARVIS back, she gave a little sigh, picking up the present and glancing at Jane, who was reading over some papers. She lifted her hand to wave at her without looking up but Darcy shook her head.

“Come with me,” she said and Jane made a face dragging eyes away from her work.

Darcy moved toward her, grabbing her hand to pull her away. Her boss began to protest but she eventually sighed, walking beside her as they made their way out of the labs to the elevator.

“You can be my backup in case we run into any unsavory characters,” Darcy said, shrugging a shoulder.

Jane’s frown deepened. “Have you forgotten where we work?”

They got to the ninth level, the elevator opening to a bare wall, and Darcy ducked out of her car to peer around, Jane beside her. She turned her head, looking down a single long corridor.

“Are we in _The Shining_?” Jane hissed, and Darcy snorted. “I’m serious. This is creepy.”

“I can’t be the only person whose office is on this floor,” Darcy murmured, and they began to walk down the corridor, trying random doors that didn’t open along the way. “A whole level to myself? That’s stupid.”

“It sounds like Tony Stark,” Jane retorted, and Darcy made an affirming sound. “I mean, he’s brilliant, but he has more money than sense.”

“Which works, because he’s a billionaire,” Darcy muttered, and Jane grinned. “Dude, I didn’t know I had an office. I don’t even know what my… title is.”

Jane shrugged.

“Am I, like, a consultant? I feel like I’d be called that,” she went on.

“I don’t like it up here,” Jane muttered.

A door suddenly burst open and both women jumped back, and Tony seemed to jump out of nowhere, a grin on his face.

His eyes landed on Jane. “You brought a little friend.”

“I’ll command her to bite you if the need arises,” Darcy said, narrowing her eyes at him, while Jane did not look amused.

Her two bosses were usually like this together.

“Catch,” Darcy said, tossing the present to Tony. “It’s a watch. You’re welcome.”

He caught it with one hand, turning it over to inspect the wrapping like it was a novelty.

“Time is money,” she added. “Literally. Glad to know you’re good for it.”

She was referring to Tony already paying her back within minutes of her purchase. She moved to look into the room he just came out of, seeing not much inside but a standing desk and a TV screen on the wall.

“How come you didn’t tell me I had an office?” she asked Tony, and he shrugged.

“Oh, you know,” he said, looking from her to Jane. “Holidays. Crazy-busy, with the festivities, all the shopping-”

Darcy muttered “asshole” which only made Tony chuckle while she rolled her eyes. She crossed her arms like Jane had, assessing him with a cold stare. 

“I need to do something about this morning,” she said, and Tony nodded, brows hiking for a second.

“Can’t say it’s anything new, especially with Fox News,” he murmured.

Darcy walked over to the window and looked outside, seeing the view of Manhattan. It was meant to snow again that night. Jane and Tony joined her, Jane’s head resting against the glass. Darcy let out a sigh.

“If you tell me _I told you so_ …”

“I’m not,” Tony said. “But I’ve seen Cap get a cat out of an old woman’s tree before,” he said, and Darcy glanced at him, frowning. “We don’t get much of a say about how we’re used.”

“That seems like a waste of resources,” Jane said, her breath fogging up the glass. She began to draw a smiley face, Tony watching her. “You should have some kind of system in place.”

“Sounds like it was a prank,” Darcy said, her eyes glued to the moving traffic below. “I wouldn’t put it past someone doing that to get back at Steve.”

“What did he do?” Tony asked, a smirk forming. “Salute too fast and spill a drink on someone?”

Darcy didn’t rise to the bait, instead kept her eyes elsewhere, her tone deadpan.

“He called Angelica Kogen a Nazi. Or a Nazi apologist or something like that.”

“That’d do it,” Tony said.

“Yo –”

They all turned to see Sam Wilson standing in the doorway, a dubious smile on his face.

“I just got a text to meet up here.”

Darcy looked at Tony who shrugged.

“Where’s Steve?” she asked, and Sam’s brows hiked.

“I’m… not sure. Thought he’d be here already,” Sam replied. “I can go find him –”

“No need,” Darcy said, walking toward Sam.

He moved out of the way for her to get out the door, stalking down the hallway with everyone behind her. She spun around, putting up a hand.

“I need everyone to take a second to breathe, alright?” she said, and she was met with three blank faces. “That’s code for get the fuck outta my face.”

“So I’m just supposed to not say a word to anyone about this incident?” Sam said, and Darcy frowned. “Wait – am I an Avenger, now?”

“Yes,” Darcy said, before Tony could say a word. “Welcome aboard. There’s no pay rise and the hours are shitty.”

She looked at Tony and then Sam.

“I’ll do some interviews. I forbid you both from talking to the press.”

Sam shrugged, seeming pleased while Tony made a face, putting up a hand.

“Hang on –”

“I’ve got a few fires to put out, Tony,” she interrupted. She looked at Jane. “We’ve got those proposals to review and then I’m building a gingerbread house.”

“Come again?” Tony said. “I thought this was _important_.”

“Hardly,” Darcy drawled, just to annoy him. She did care a lot, but she was trying to micromanage it all on the fly. “This isn’t my dream job.”

She looked at Sam again, giving him a genuine smile.

“I’m really glad you’re here. You’re my favorite Avenger.”

Sam burst into a smile as Tony rolled his eyes, and then Darcy looked at Jane.

“And Thor. They’re my top two.”

They got to the elevator and Jane pressed the button, the four of them waiting. Sam met her gaze.

“Can I ask what your dream job is then? If it’s not this?”

“Sock model.”

“Sock… model?” Sam repeated.

“Oh, totally,” Darcy went on. “All cozy and shit. I love socks, but I don’t want people to _see_ my feet, y’know? I want there to be an air of mystery –”

“Jesus Christ,” Tony muttered, glancing at the ceiling. “Why? Why me? What did I do to deserve…?”

Darcy smirked at Sam while Jane pressed her lips together as she giggled.

-

Darcy knocked on the unmarked door, hoping that he was home.

She’d tried calling with little success. She was starting to understand why Tony warned her about Steve’s disobedience. She hoped that her personal relationship would sway him, but it was still early days. She suspected he thought he was helping her.

Her stomach flipped when she heard him unlock the door, revealing himself a second later.

“You’ve still got some glitter –” Darcy said, and Steve moved his hand to touch his cheek where she was pointing until she broke into a grin. “I’m kidding.”

“Very funny,” he replied dryly, and she ducked under his arm to go inside, Steve shutting the door.

She pulled off her beanie, looking over at the Christmas tree in the living room. There were a few wrapped presents at the bottom of it now and she looked at Steve, frowning.

“Don’t presume that those are yours, sweetheart,” he said, and Darcy put her hands on her hips.

Steve’s eyes fell to the bag she was holding.

“What’s in there?”

“Gingerbread house making kit.”

“Oh,” he said. “What I always wanted…”

Darcy pulled out the box from inside her bag, tutting.

“Y’know, you’re about as close to a Grinch as you can get –”

“Oh, boy,” he murmured, moving toward her to take the box from her, reading the back. “I’ll try to not take that personally…”

Darcy snorted, watching him turn the box over, shaking his head.

“You are old,” she replied, and he glanced at her, narrowing his eyes.

“How old am I?”

“You’re so old your candles cost more than your birthday cake,” she retorted, and he smirked. “Speaking of which, we can put on some old music while we work.”

She took out her phone, picking up the TV remote in her other hand to sync her music to play through its speakers. Steve opened the box, pulling out pieces of gingerbread.

“There’s so much plastic…”

“I know,” Darcy said. “You don’t have to remind me. I hate it, too.”

“During the War, plastic production went up by 300% -”

“So what you’re saying is… it’s your fault,” Darcy said, pointing at him. “I accept your apology.”

Steve shut his mouth, shaking his head. When Darcy put on her playlist, watching Steve’s face to see his reaction. He was busy reading the instructions on the back of the box, and then he glanced up, tilting his head.

“I haven’t heard this in… God,” he murmured, ducking head and shaking it, a smile forming.

It made Darcy move toward him, the box between them as she reached for his face, her hand gliding up to cup his jaw.

“What was that song we had on the other day? When… I was touching you on the couch?”

“How did it go?” Steve murmured, closing his eyes as she stood on tiptoes to kiss him.

 _“The snow is snowing and the wind is blowing…”_  
  
“That’s _I’ve Got My Love To Keep Me Warm_ ,” he replied, chuckling. “Fitting.”

Darcy pulled back, glancing at her phone, typing the song in and putting it on. Their eyes met and she smiled, the box put aside as she was pulled into him, her arms wrapping around his neck.

“It could be our song.”

“I don’t really dance,” Steve murmured, and Darcy nuzzled his nose with hers.

“Not even for me? Not even on Christmas?” she whispered.

“It’s December 18th,” he retorted, and she grinned wider. “But if you play your cards right…”

“I’ll get a dance with Mister Two Left Feet himself?” Darcy said, pulling back in mock surprise, her hand on her heart. “My goodness –”

“Alright, cut it out, sweetheart,” he said, but he was laughing along with her, tilting his head to kiss her again. “You wanna get that gingerbread house out?”

“You’ll do that with me?” she whispered, and he nodded.

“Sure,” he replied. “But it’s not like we’re lacking in sugar these days…”

“We don’t have to eat it right away, we can display it,” she said, and he chuckled. “We’ll put it aside until next week.”

They lapsed into silence, the song playing out as Steve’s hands gripped her waist, his mouth moving against hers. He deepened their kiss, his hand reaching to cup the back of her head, holding her in place as he drank from her, a moan ebbing from his soft lips.

“Steve…”

“Hmm?”

She moved back, looking deep into his eyes.

“What is it?”

She could read it in his eyes, what she was hoping to say to him. He felt it, too. Her stomach flipped as she took a deep breath.

“I love you.”

He made a soft sound that Darcy couldn’t discern – it seemed to slip out of him not by choice. He held her tighter, pressing a kiss to her lips without closing his eyes.

“I love you, too,” he said, and Darcy felt her eyes mist.

“You do?”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling at her now. He blinked a couple times, his throat bobbing. He rubbed her shoulder, looking away. “Let’s get the house started now or I never will.”

“I don’t wanna –”

“Okay, good,” he said, and he cut her off with a kiss and Darcy whimpered at the heat of it, and it was lifting her seconds later, moving her so she sat on his lap on the couch.

By the time it was over, Darcy was a trembling mess, pliant and sweaty in his arms, her heart so full she felt like it could burst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, there's only three chapters left...
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	23. xxiii. The Whole Not Dying Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I meant to update (and finish) this story by Christmas but I've been derailed completely. If you follow me on Tumblr, you'd know that my cat passed away after his health utterly deteriorated. I'm feeling very frustrated by the world in general but I'm grateful for all my readers. I'm uploading this chapter on Christmas Eve, and I hope tomorrow is tolerable enough. Thank you for sticking with this story.

_Old fears, helped to ease them in my mind_  
_New tears say that they will dry in time_  
**\- "Hallelujah" by HAIM**

**xxiii. The Whole Not Dying Thing**

“You heard the term ‘mortgaging your future’?” Darcy asked, watching Tony shotgun his fourth espresso in the space of twenty minutes. 

She was currently poised at her desk, typing out a press release while her boss hung around, making use of the coffee machine she had installed.

“Maybe,” he replied, putting his tiny cup down. “Write it down somewhere and I’ll read it later.”

“Oh, ha, ha.” Darcy glanced at her screen, typing some more. “If you start to have heart palpitations–”

“I won’t,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Though now that you mention it, my left side is sort of twitching.”

“Your whole left side?” Darcy asked, and Tony made a face, shrugging.

“It’s fine. I’m sure there’s a defibrillator somewhere here…”

“You know there isn’t. Also, you know I need a fire extinguisher up here. I’m otherwise violating several codes –”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony said, moving up beside her to peer at her screen. “You’re not really a fan of commas, are you?”

“Why use commas when I can just write short sentences?”

She knew her morning in Brooklyn with Steve was the reason she was able to deal with Tony better now. With slow smiles and sparkling blue eyes and adorably tussled super soldier hair, she’d almost forgotten the shitshow that occurred yesterday.

“It’s my left arm, and my left eye,” Tony went on. He covered his eye with one hand, staring at the wall. “Yeah, my left eye.”

“Stop drinking my coffee.”

She sighed, stopping her typing to reread what she’d written. Tony pointed at the screen.

“You don’t want to be writing ‘emergency’ or ‘danger’ in that.”

“I don’t want to be writing any of this,” she retorted. “Also, how else am I meant to describe what you do? The Avengers… continue their _services_ of… safety… regulation?”

“What did you major in, again?”

“Political science,” Darcy deadpanned and Tony laughed. “It’s not funny.”

She kept typing, hearing Tony make himself another shot and she glanced at him, narrowing her eyes.

“That’s pretty impressive that you can touch-type while glaring at me, Lewis. Maybe that’s your superpower."

“Is your superpower your inability to die?” she drawled, swinging her gaze back to her screen, her nails clacking on the keyboard with increasing tempo.

“You mean _immortality_?” he said, and she sighed loudly. “Cheer up –”

“How are you so calm?” she snapped, and she promptly stopped typing, squeezing her eyes shut. “Kogen said that the President should get involved with you guys. That doesn’t concern you at all?”

“Nobody is Iron Man but me, alright?” he said, and she rubbed her eyes. “And there’s no-one who can be Cap –”

“That doesn’t mean they won’t try to prosecute you if something major happens. There are online petitions with thousands of signatures.”

“They’ll love us when the next disaster occurs,” Tony muttered, his face changing to something more stern, and Darcy looked away, thinking of Steve.

Sensing that she felt uneasy, Tony moved so he was in her eye line and she glared at him once more.

“Hey – _if_ there’s a disaster,” he said. “And besides, the whole not dying thing… Steve and I have that in common.”

“It’s not just that,” she muttered. “It’s about what I can do to help.”

Tony put his cup aside. “Be there when he goes to sleep at night. Answer his phone calls. Send dumb texts when he’s on a mission and his body clock is a mess.”

“Is that what Pepper does?”

“Yeah,” he said, and Darcy made a face.

“So why can’t you channel some of that sentimentality into your gift-giving, instead of making me do it? You have an AI you created yourself. You’ve designed weapons, your arc reactor. Even if you did a dumb cardboard photo frame with spray-painted pasta pieces on its border… no, wait, I don’t think any grown man giving that as a present should be applauded for that…”

Darcy was mid-rant when her phone began to buzz and she took it out of her pocket, glancing at the display.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Darcy?”

“Speaking?”

“Bruce. Uh, Bruce Banner.”

“Bruce? Finally,” she replied. “What the hell, man? I’ve been trying to get in touch for days. Where are you?”

“I usually block out the whole of December.”

“So you’re not coming back anytime soon?” Darcy asked.

She walked toward the window as she heard a rustling on Bruce’s end, and she strained to make out what was said next.

“I’m – the New Year --”

“Patchy?” she heard Tony quip and Darcy turned around to glare at him.

“ _I’m going to kill you_ ,” she mouthed, which only made him smirk. Bruce kept cutting in and out, his sentences coming and going. “Bruce?”

“He insists on having no assistance from JARVIS,” Tony called, “just so he can avoid anyone trying to call him as easily as possible.”

“I don’t think he’d –” Darcy began, but she was interrupted.

“Was that Tony?” Bruce said.

“Yeah, he says you’ve done this deliberately.”

“Can’t – say – I’m –”

“Bruce?”

There was silence and Darcy gave an extravagant sigh, hanging up. She walked back to her computer and began typing again.

There was a tense silence for less than a minute, and Darcy wasn’t sure truly whose fault it was that the bickering started up once more. Tony seemed to bring it out in her, and she seemed to goad Tony in return.

“So, how are we feeling?”

Tony was putting on his best therapist voice, which only had Darcy huffing.

“Glory is fleeting, Lewis. Remember - beware the Ides of March…”

“I hope you crap your pants from all that coffee!” she retorted, typing faster than ever, her words riddled with errors the further she went.

-

Darcy spent the rest of her time writing the press release thinking over what Tony meant - the Avengers had never been about glory, fleeting or otherwise.

Darcy bit a sugar cookie in two that she swiped from a gift basket someone left on Jane’s desk. It was in the shape of a Christmas stocking and Jane watched Darcy devour it, folding her arms.

“I envy you for your teeth,” she muttered.

Darcy glanced at her, finally coming back to the present.

“I envy your baby bird metabolism.”

“I envy your boyfriend being here for Christmas,” Jane mumbled.

Darcy’s eyes widened as her boss looked away. Jane’s chin began to quiver and Darcy swallowed hastily, moving toward her as Jane burst into tears.

She’d never seen her like this before. When it came to Thor, Jane was usually open about missing him, but she never sobbed openly. She did it alone, and she’d come into the labs sometimes with red eyes. This was way scarier, knowing she couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“I’m fucking…. fine!” she snapped, swiping at her eyes as Darcy’s hands settled on her tiny shoulders. “I’m fine. Really.”

“We can talk about it,” Darcy said, and Jane glared at her.

“ _No_. I don’t want to.”

“Okay.”

Darcy bit her lip, turning away to head over to her desk, picking up the other half of the cookie and shoving it into her mouth. She proofread the press release a couple more times before sending it off to one of the press contacts she’d acquired as the liaison. She knew that within an hour the Times would have it on their website and Twitter.

She kept glancing over to Jane to check her, seeing her boss with her shoulders hunched, frowning hard at the papers she was reading.

She thought about going back over just to sit with her, but then her phone began to buzz and she glanced at the number, not recognizing it.

“Uh.”

She unlocked it, looking toward the window.

“Hello?”

“Darcy?”

She recognized the husky timbre of Natasha Romanoff, and her brows hiked, her heartbeat picking up.

“Natasha!”

“You’ve been trying to call me. You know it’s my time off, right?”

“Yeah,” she managed to reply. “I – look, it’s been kind of shitty back here.”

“Tony?”

“Uh, sort of.”

“I know about the trombone case. I keep up-to-date.”

Darcy could almost hear the smirk spreading on the spy’s face from thousands of miles away. She rubbed her eyes.

“You’re not coming back, I get that. I just thought I’d try to contact you, since I started this new job. Sorry for disturbing you.”

“You’re not,” Natasha replied, and Darcy heard a distant bang that made her pull back the phone in surprise. “I’m finishing up here.”

“Steve said you were in Croatia with a Count of some kind,” Darcy said.

Like her conversation with Bruce earlier, she tried to make out the other end of the phone, for some kind of clue. Natasha’s reception seemed crystal clear, though.

It was so obvious. Natasha didn’t give a shit about anyone from work knowing where she was, because her attitude was “If you want me to come back to work, you better drag me back there yourself”. She didn’t care about hiding like Bruce did.

“Everything okay?” Darcy asked eventually.

She heard another couple of bangs.

“Yeah,” Natasha said. She sounded like she was moving. Darcy could hear the scrunch of footfalls, somewhere off-road.

Another couple bangs.

“Natasha!”

“You read about Kazakhstan?” Natasha asked, sounding unperturbed.

“Yeah, why?”

“I was in Kazakhstan. And then Croatia. The Count was a mark.”

“Right,” Darcy said, though she hadn’t read that detail.

Natasha wasn’t on vacation at all. She was doing some other side mission Darcy wasn’t privy to. She glanced at the ceiling, taking a deep breath.

“And before you ask, no, Steve didn’t know about it,” Natasha added, and Darcy made a face.

“You know about me and Steve?”

“Darcy, please,” the spy deadpanned from whole continents away. “You’re world-famous now for being his girlfriend.”

Darcy contemplated another cookie, listening to what was definitely gunshots echoing on Natasha’s end. A minute or so later, another cookie in her hand, she heard Natasha finally speak again.

“With Tony, the best policy is to do whatever it was you were planning regardless of whatever annoying bullshit he tries to put you through. You’d be surprised how many times I’ve had to stop myself from strangling him –”

“I really don’t think I’d be that surprised, at all,” Darcy cut in. “So, Christmas? You’re going to be shooting more HYDRA grunts or will you be back here?”

“Most likely, I’ll be gone until New Year’s. I don’t really do press, Darcy. I don’t really like putting my name to my face,” the spy replied. “Or the other way around.”

“Right,” Darcy said again. “Thanks, I guess.”

When she hung up, she sighed. Jane was absorbed in her work, so Darcy went back to her computer to refresh Twitter. The statement was released already, and people were jumping onto it mostly to laugh about it.

Her phone began to buzz again and Darcy let out a growl, another unknown number popping up. She unlocked her phone, putting it to her ear.

“What?”

“Hi,” she heard the speaker reply, a little reproachful. “Is this a bad time?”

“Sharon?” Darcy blurted, and then she cringed. “I mean, is this Sharon?”

“Yeah. Are you in the labs?”

Darcy bit her lip. “Yeah. What’s up?”

“If this is a really bad time, I’ll come by later…”

Darcy glanced around, trying to figure out just how bad an idea it could be to let Sharon Carter into the labs. Her desk was covered in Christmas decorations. Darcy was also wearing a pretty crude t-shirt that day under her sharp blazer. It read in red puffy text: _Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?_

Steve loved it.

“Uh, no. I’ll come meet you.”

They agreed to meet in the lobby and Darcy marched out there ten minutes later, her palms feeling clammy, her guts twisting. She hadn’t been this nervous since her job interview. It more or less felt like the same thing. Sharon was about to scrutinize her up close, and Darcy had no-one to guide her through it.

She spotted Sharon standing with her hands on her hips, her shirt sleeves pushed up to her elbows, her holster visible on her belt. Her long blonde hair was loose and falling down her back, her eyes different to the last time she saw Darcy.

“Hi,” she said, smiling at her. “You didn’t have to –”

“I wanted to,” Darcy said, not letting Sharon get the rest of her sentence out.

Sharon nodded, swallowing.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and Darcy blinked at her. “For being abrasive. For letting you say those things about yourself.”

“Isn’t that what people think of me, though?” Darcy said, folding her arms and watching a group of agents walk by, all of them taking note of the two women conversing. “That I slept my way into this job?”

“Yeah,” Sharon said, and Darcy appreciated her honesty. “But I never thought that of you.”

“You don’t know me,” Darcy retorted. “You never even tried to reach out to me.”

“No, I didn’t,” Sharon said, and her eyes ducked. The movement surprised Darcy. “And I’m ashamed of that. I should have welcomed you and Doctor Foster. The rest of us upstairs sort of keep to ourselves.”

Darcy nodded. She didn’t have any work friends who were SHIELD agents. She knew that she could have tried a little harder, too.

“And at the party, you tried to be friendly,” Sharon said. “I came back from my mission, after hearing you and Steve finally got together. I was jealous.”

Darcy stared at her.

“Not because I want Steve,” she added. “I broke up with Steve already. That was my choice, and I knew we weren’t going to work out. But then he talked about you like… well, I’d never heard anyone talk about another person that way before. At least, not for a really long time.”

Darcy nodded, knowing what she meant.

“Peggy. About Steve,” she murmured, and Sharon nodded.

“I just want someone to look at me the way Steve looks at you,” she said. “And I hate that I took that out on you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Really, Darcy,” she said, and Darcy nodded, accepting it. “I’m so sorry.”

Darcy looked toward the lobby doors, watching people stream in and out.

“We could get hot chocolate,” she said, and Sharon gave a little smile. “If you’re not busy right now.”

“I got time,” she said.

Darcy didn’t even know what they’d talk about, but they fell into step together, and Darcy felt so much better, the tension melting away.

As they reached the doors and Sharon pushed one open to step outside, the familiar klaxon blare that Darcy heard in her apartment yesterday started up and they both froze, their eyes meeting.

“Oh, shit,” Darcy hissed, taking out her phone.

Sharon did the same, both of them stalking back into the middle of the lobby. Other agents were taking out their phones, people looking at one another.

“JARVIS,” Darcy said, after putting the phone to her ear and opening his app.

_“Samobor, ma’am. HYDRA attack on SHIELD agents.”_

Darcy looked at Sharon, who was saying:

“Agents down. Croatia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Tony:** Beware the Ides of March~*~  
>  **Darcy:** MAKE ME
> 
> P.S. That shirt Darcy's wearing is based off of a real shirt I saw a month ago and DIDN'T buy and I've regretted it ever since
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	24. xxiv. Hans Gruber

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're on the home stretch! I hope you had safe and happy holidays so far. ❤

_So, soldier_   
_You've been hiding that secret under your shirt collar_   
_You both breathe easy_

\- "So Soldier" by #1 Dads

**xxiv. Hans Gruber**

While the klaxons blared, Sharon and Darcy dove into the cramped elevator.

Darcy was sick with worry, and she knew it showed on her face, because Sharon was gripping her hand among the crowd of agents trying to reach upstairs. She thought about what it all could mean – agents down, meaning people were shot.

“Any news on Natasha?” she asked Sharon, whose other hand was holding her phone to her ear like Darcy was doing with hers.

She shook her head. “Inconclusive. But it’s a mess, Darcy.”

“JARVIS, where’s Steve and the rest of the Avengers?”

_“En route to the ninth floor, ma’am. I have alerted them of the situation and there will be a brief meeting.”_

The elevator kept stopping at each floor, agents dashing out to their floors, and Darcy kept being jabbed by elbows and hands at the crowd swelled and dissipated. The seconds dragged and by the time they reached her office, she was shaking.

“Where’re you going?” she asked Sharon, seeing the blonde’s mouth had become a thin line, her frown prominent.

“We’ll try to find contacts who can give us more information,” she said. “You have to go –”

Darcy stepped out, the doors beginning to close.

“I have your number!” Sharon called, and Darcy nodded.

She bit her lip, dashing down the long corridor. She almost collided with Steve, who’d run toward the sound of her arriving.

His hands went to either side of her face and she could see he was already dressed in his suit, minus his mask. His shield was probably sitting in the room he ran out of.

“You okay?” he asked, and Darcy nodded.

“Sharon was with me.”

“Sharon?” he repeated, and Darcy nodded again.

“Yeah, we talked. She called me. Right after I spoke to Nat…”

She glanced away, thinking about Natasha and those echoing gunshots that hadn’t concerned her at the time.

“I was just talking to her,” she mumbled.

“Whatever’s happened, I’m sure Nat can handle it,” Steve said, but she could see he wasn’t in the smiling mood. His brow was furrowed. “Sam’s comin’. Tony’s already here.”

They walked together, hand in hand, and sure enough her boss was swiping through hologram files that were projected above his head. He glanced over his shoulder at Lewis before looking back at the files.

“It’s HYDRA, right?” Darcy said, and Tony made an affirming sound. “It’s HYDRA on Christmas? So how am I not supposed to reference Hans Gruber?”

Tony turned his head again, looking at Steve.

“Hans Gruber is –”

“I’ve seen _Die Hard_ , thanks,” Steve cut in, and Darcy finally saw his lips quirk.

“Unfortunately, it’s more _Goldfinger_ than _Die Hard_ ,” Tony muttered, flipping through more files. “They managed to disable JARVIS’ communications with Natasha’s phone and attachments –”

Darcy glanced at what Tony was swiping through, seeing fragments of documents that were stamped with TOP SECRET and CONFIDENTIAL in varying stages of decay. She frowned, trying to decipher some of the longhand scrawled across one lined paper.

She considered herself pretty good at reading illegible text. She was a research assistant, after all. Jane’s handwriting was worse than a first-grader’s.

“Just as long as we’re not dealing with a Doctor Szell type,” came a familiar voice that had the hairs on the back of Darcy’s neck stand on end.

She turned toward the source, seeing Nick Fury walking through the doorway with Sam Wilson in tow. The Director’s one eye swivelled to meet Darcy’s.

“Lewis.”

“You referring to the HYDRA supervillain?”

“Szell’s probably a little too obscure for young Darcy’s knowledge of film references,” Tony said, and Darcy narrowed her eyes at him.

“I’ll get you a copy,” Fury said dryly. “Maybe after the minor inconvenience of my missing agents. But the movie itself isn’t exactly a crowd-pleaser. "

“Where exactly did you send Natasha, Fury?” Steve snapped.

Fury’s eyebrows hiked. “Nowhere she couldn’t pull herself out of. And you can stop looking at me like it was my idea she went in the first place. She was the one who swiped the file and hightailed it to Croatia.”

“What?” Darcy blurted. Everyone was staring at her for her outburst. “I mean, excuse me?”

Tony smirked.

“Agent Romanoff has never been one to rest, Miss Lewis,” Fury went on, focusing his attention on her. “I told her to put her feet up for once.”

“Yeah, I believe you,” Darcy retorted, folding her arms to copy him. “But with your tone of voice, you make it sound like a threat.”

“What’s wrong with my tone of voice?”

“Can we just –?” Steve held up a hand. “SHIELD intel is sayin’ agents are down. Are there any confirmed kills?”

“No,” Fury said. “But no-one’s checked in.”

“A-ha! So it _is_ Hans Gruber!” Darcy declared. “Hostages!”

“Do you want to talk about tone of voice, Lewis?” Fury retorted, and she dropped her smile, frowning.

“What? Isn’t that better? Hostages instead of assassinations?”

“Don’t know,” Steve mused.

“Avengers assemble, beat up some bad guys and then everyone comes home safe for Christmas,” Darcy said, shrugging as if it was already a done deal, though her heart was racing.

She was aware that she was making this all up as she went along, but a lot of her life operated that way.

“Where’s Thor?”

“Don’t look at me, last time he was with you,” Fury replied. “And you can stop snooping, Stark.”

Tony gave a sigh and wiped away the holofiles. Sam cleared his throat.

“Are we forgetting the Count she was with? Maybe he knew about her being an agent.”

Fury gave a nod. “That was a possibility. I don’t think it was Romanoff ever giving herself away.”

He looked at Tony and rose an eyebrow.

“Some of us know better than others just how good she is at keeping in character.”

Tony looked at the ceiling and Darcy wondered exactly what Fury meant by that, and she made the mental note to do her own snooping later.

Tony threw up a map of Croatia and they all stared up at it.

“And they couldn’t have got to a boat or something and got away?” Darcy said, and Fury met her gaze.

“Romanoff’s last known location is two hours away from the coast and there haven’t been any aircraft taking off in the area, according to intel,” he replied.

“She’s still in the country,” Steve said, and Fury nodded.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at a town called Rude and then looked at Tony, who seemed to have also noticed the name, smirking to himself.

“Wait,” Darcy said, holding up a hand. She turned toward Fury. “If we’re looking for HYDRA…”

“Please tell me this is actually going somewhere, Lewis,” he muttered, and she waved her hand dismissively, turning back toward the map.

“Counts? They’d live somewhere, right?”

“Is that a real question?” Tony said.

“If I was a stupid, big, ugly Nazi goon, where would I hide?” she murmured.

She glanced at Steve, whose eyes swung to hers.

“Castle!” they said together, both of them smiling.

They both laughed, while Fury made a face, nodding toward Tony.

“You’re adorable,” he muttered, and Darcy grinned wider.

-

They had several targets, from what they could determine from a combination of JARVIS’ and SHIELD’s intel. Each suspected HYDRA hideout would have an indeterminable number of threats to the Avengers, and they were already missing three members, including Thor.

“Clint won’t be happy about us cutting off his vacation,” Tony warned, but Fury shook his head.

“You underestimate that archer’s ability to lose his temper when it’s concerning Agent Romanoff,” Fury muttered.

Tony smirked. “I’ve woken that guy up from a nap, I think I know about that temper…”

Darcy was watching Steve check his ammo while they stood around her office, and she could feel her stomach twisting over and over.

“We won’t be alone,” he said, his voice low, reading the tension all over her. “Sharon and the rest of the SHIELD squadron are always dedicated –”

“I’m not worried about them,” Darcy said. She was grateful of their support at a time like this. “I know you. You’ll jump out of that jet without a parachute. You’d sooner throw yourself on a grenade than let Natasha get a scratch.”

He didn’t argue with her, only cupped her jaw, looking deep into her eyes.

“I’m going to get her back, and I’ll come back to you. I promise.”

“You promise?” she murmured, and he nodded. “Because I know what I want for Christmas now. I want you, back in Brooklyn in one piece.”

“Two minutes, Cap,” she heard Fury warn, but she was thankful that he hadn’t told them to stop talking. She needed to get this all out, in case… in case…

“Stay at my place while I’m gone,” he whispered, and she nodded. “With Lil’ Cap. Crank up the heater and give me a massive electricity bill. That’s what I want for Christmas. You waitin’ for me.”

“I love you. How do I get in?”

“I love you, too,” he replied, smiling. “Your fingerprint was already approved, you just need the pin to go with it, to punch into the pad inside the front door.”

He pressed a key into her palm, curling her fingers over it with his gloved hand. He kissed her, a short peck on the lips.

“Is the pin my birth year?” she whispered, and he shook his head.

“No, but close,” he said. “It’s 06-14. Same as my phone’s pin.”

Her eyes widened. It was her birthday, June 14th. Her stomach flipped and she gripped him tighter, pulling him into a second, heated kiss.

“OKAY, let’s go!”

They broke apart at Tony’s yell and Darcy nodded at Steve.

“I love you,” she said again.

“I love you more,” he replied, and she whimpered.

“Steve –”

“No, I’m right. It’s an age thing,” he said, and he glanced at her mouth. “I’m always right and I love you.”

He pressed one last kiss to her forehead before he picked up his shield and placed it on his back. He stood back, reaching to squeeze her hand.

“You’re so old,” she said, and he smiled.

“How old am I?”

“You’re so old you fart dust,” she said, and he chuckled.

He let go and Darcy bit her quivering lip, Sam and Tony already on their way out. Steve took a couple steps backward.

“What else?”

“You’re so old you read hieroglyphics,” she added. “You’re so old you’re afraid of flowers.”

He dashed away and Darcy was left behind, passing a hand over her face. She looked over at Fury who was standing by the window, his arms folded behind his back.

“I _did_ get the _Marathon Man_ reference before,” she murmured, and Fury turned his head toward her, smirking. “I just wanted Tony to think he was old, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


	25. xxv. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you and I hope you enjoy the ride. ❤

_Oh my love_  
_We've had our share of tears_  
_Oh my friends_  
_We've had our hopes and fears_  
_Oh my friends_  
_It's been a long hard year_  
_But now it's Christmas_  
_Yes, it's Christmas_  
_Thank God it's Christmas  
_ **\- "Thank God It's Christmas" by Queen**

**xxv. Christmas**

“At some point, you’ll need to sleep.”

Darcy was leaning her elbow on her desk in the labs, her chin resting in her hand as she began to doze. Her monitor was still constantly cycling through the news and intel windows she had open, trying to help her keep up-to-date with the Avengers rescue mission. Telecommunications were still compromised by whatever HYDRA was up to in Croatia. Darcy had only managed to get a confirmation that they’d landed safely in the country, and then radio silence for the last twelve hours.

She didn’t hear Fury come in. She’d been desperately trying to stay awake, but she’d even outlasted Jane who’d gone to bed an hour or so ago. It was after 2AM.

Two days until Christmas.

She sat back in her chair, rubbing her eyes, her tongue feeling furred. She swallowed a couple times, watching Fury walk over and look at her monitor with his one eye.

“I was sleeping.”

“I meant in your apartment, not here,” he replied, and she nodded.

“You first,” she mumbled, and he chuckled. She narrowed her eyes at her screen, seeing nothing new. “Is it always like this?”

He stared at her and she sighed loudly, elaborating:

“Is there a lot of nervous waiting around like this?”

“Depends,” he said.

“That’s barely an answer,” Darcy said, and she felt herself begin to bristle with irritation once more. “And when they’re done and come home, they’d just have to go back out again?”

“Yes.”

“That’s terrible,” she said. “It’s… thankless. And the press just hounds them for whatever they do. Or whatever they don’t do –”

“I don’t recall you hiding away from it,” Fury said, eyebrow hiking. “In fact, I saw your sponsored Instagram picture. Not that I _wanted_ to...”

Darcy had taken the sponsorship because a company sent her some luxury holiday hamper, which included delicious little preserves from Martha’s Vineyard and his and hers silk pillow cases. She promptly donated the money to the children’s hospital toy drive. She then stress-ate all the macadamia, cranberry and white chocolate cookies from the hamper before passing out at her desk.

“I don’t care about that anymore,” she muttered. “Not that it was ever why I…”

“Why you…?” Fury asked, and she made a face, realizing she said the second part out loud.

“Why I decided to make us a public thing,” she finished as smoothly as possible, looking away.

“Go to bed, Lewis,” Fury said, and she nodded. “I only came down here to find Doctor Foster. We’ve detected some anomalies –”

“You let me yak on about my bullshit when you could have mentioned a goddamn anomaly five minutes ago?” Darcy hissed, and Fury stared back at her, his face stone-like. She lowered her voice. “Uh, could you please elaborate on this anomaly? Sir?”

“If it’s an anomaly but we’re getting used to them, are they still anomalies?” he replied, and Darcy’s eyebrows hiked.

“You mean it _is_ Thor? She’d be on the roof, then –”

She stood up from her chair and moved toward the doors, hearing Fury give a sigh. She waited for him to slip into her elevator, and in her opionion, he seemed to be taking his sweet time. She smashed the keypad for the roof and the doors shut.

The tinny Christmas muzak that came over the speakers made Fury pull in a breath, and Darcy smirked to herself, beginning to hum along to _Jingle Bell Rock_.

By the time they reached the roof, the last few chords of _Baby It’s Cold Outside_ had begun to fade out.

“I never liked that song,” Darcy muttered, and Fury nodded.

“Creepy.”

The doors began to open and she looked at Fury.

“Well, what’s your favourite?”

“ _Last Christmas_ ,” he replied, seemingly automatic. “You got something against Wham!?”

Darcy realized her eyebrows had frozen at her hairline. She hadn’t expected that answer from the scariest person she’d ever met. She blinked a couple times.

“Uh, definitely not. Love Wham!. Love… them,” she mumbled.

They began walking toward the exit to the rooftop, and Fury opened the door for her, meeting her gaze.

“So?”

“So what?” she retorted. “Oh, you mean, what’s _my_ favourite? _Thank God It’s Christmas_ by Queen.”

His frown vanished and he nodded his approval and Darcy grinned, ducking out into the open air, the icy wind smacking her in the face. She hadn’t properly prepared herself and she shivered, hugging herself as she dashed toward the figure she saw standing in the middle of the roof space.

“Jane?” she called. “Why’d you tell me you were going to bed?”

Fury fell into step beside her and Jane glanced around, holding her device that beeped intermittently, and her eyes widened slightly.

“Director –”

“Anomalies are our business, too, Doctor,” he said, before she could say anything else. Darcy glanced between them, before waving a dismissive hand.

“Whatever. Let’s try to figure out if Thor’s on his way…”

She joined Jane, glancing down at the device, seeing some numbers she didn’t understand. She guessed it was the thing she helped Jane make that measured waves of some kind. Space waves? Electromagnetic something-somethings? Darcy swore she was getting better at remembering it all.

“It’s really late, Darcy,” Jane murmured. “You don’t have to be up…”

“What, it’s a great distraction –”

Jane shot her a look that Darcy copied.

“You know what I mean,” she added. “I’d love to see Thor.”

“Lewis, you remember the conversation we had about you sleeping?” Fury said, folding his arms.

He was standing on Jane’s other side, glancing up at the sky. There was a distant rumble that sounded promising.

“I remember it like it was yesterday,” Darcy retorted, grinning.

“It was ten minutes ago!”

The device began to beep non-stop, the wind picking up. Darcy held onto Jane’s arm, the three of them watching the skies for any sign of a Thor-shaped figure.

“You got a favourite Christmas song, Foster?” Fury asked, yelling over the wind.

“I’m Jewish!” she yelled back.

“I knew that!” he said. “You can still like Christmas songs. Lewis, aren’t you Jewish, too?”

“Half!” she yelled. “Or I was, on my dad’s side. He died!”

“God rest his soul!” Fury added, but she shrugged.

“I don’t really remember him!”

“CAN WE DO THIS LATER?” Jane screamed, and then there was a crack of lightning.

There was another rumble of thunder, much closer. Darcy felt it in her chest and she gripped Jane’s arm as tight as possible, squeezing her eyes shut when the lightning came back.

They squinted toward the beaming light that came down upon the rooftop and Darcy heard Jane let out a happy squeal, dropping the device on the ground as she ran toward the familiar figure now standing.

“What a beautiful welcome wagon!” Thor boomed, and Darcy was following after Jane to hug him as well.

Thor looked over the tops of their heads to Fury, smiling wide.

“Fury! A sight to behold!”

“I’m not part of this,” he yelled, and Thor offered him a hand to shake.

Fury walked over, taking Thor’s hand. He gave a small smirk and Darcy winked at him, causing his scowl to return.

Thor caught Jane in a kiss and Darcy looked away, down at Mjolnir in his hand. She tapped it with her finger, before Thor pulled her into a tight embrace.

“Darcy! A joyous day! Songs will be sung – oh, shit.”

“Oh,” Jane said, noticing the little fire he’d accidentally started on an adjacent building. “You better… fix that.”

Thor dashed off and managed to stamp it out, giving them a thumbs-up that Darcy returned. Jane looked elated, while Fury couldn’t seem to hide his own amusement. Thor had both arms around the women as they walked toward the door back inside. Fury bowed out of the reunion, shooting Darcy a look.

“I’ll go to bed soon, Nick,” she called with a smirk, waving. She winked as she followed Jane and Thor into the elevator.

They kept looking at one another and Darcy squeezed Thor’s side.

“Missed you, cutie,” she murmured, and he chuckled.

“I missed you, too, Darcy,” he replied. He pressed a kiss to her brow. “I was told you finally began a courtship with Steve.”

“How’d -? Heimdall?” Darcy said, and he grinned. “Yeah. We did. He’s on a mission to find Natasha. She might be in trouble, in Croatia.”

“Where is… Croatia?” he said, and Darcy held up a hand.

“Not space. We haven’t got that far,” she muttered. “Yet. Jesus. We better not ever go to space.”

“What’s wrong with space?” Jane and Thor said together, and Darcy shot them a look.

They got to Jane’s level by the time Darcy answered them with an elaborate roll of her eyes.

“My boyfriend doesn’t do the space travel thing so easily,” she said. “He’s very human. I think you forget that, Thor.”

“Hardly,” he retorted. “There’s no-one else like him on Midgard.”

“I know,” Darcy said, smiling a little. “God…”

They walked into Jane’s apartment, Thor depositing Mjolnir on the kitchen table on his way through, the three of them sitting on the couch. Thor began to tell them about Asgard and how he’d learned the Yuletide celebrations on Midgard had begun.

“You could use a calendar,” Jane murmured, tracing his face with her little hand.

“I have no use for such a thing,” Thor said, and Jane pretended to tut, but she was smiling.

Darcy had begun to feel like a third wheel. She glanced at her phone, seeing it was closer to 4AM. If she was going to get up at a reasonable time later, the window was closing rapidly. She got up from the couch, looking at Jane and Thor who’d begun to murmur to one another.

“Get a room,” she muttered, but she was laughing. She was so happy Jane was no longer alone.

Darcy knew she loved Thor, too, so it wasn’t just for Jane’s benefit that he was there. She suspected that Jane had lied to her about going onto the roof before because she didn’t want to get Darcy’s hopes up, either.

“We’re trying to,” Jane retorted, and Darcy nodded, walking out.

“See you tomorrow! Or… whenever, I guess,” she called, remembering it was already way past midnight.

The sun was going to be up in a couple hours. She took out her phone as she walked out, down the hallway and through the kitchen.

She accidentally bumped the table with her nose in her phone, and she gave Mjolnir a quick glance, only to see it was at an angle.

She stopped, staring at the hammer now. She remembered it sitting differently before. She tried to recall Thor lifting his hand to summon it, but she couldn’t…

Mjolnir had moved. Darcy had accidentally nudged the table, but surely it only moved because the table –

She shook her head, thinking about how dumb she was to think she could possibly –

“Darcy, are you going or what?” she heard Jane call.

She realized she hadn’t moved for half a minute, staring at Mjolnir, not slamming the front door behind her.

“Yeah,” she called back, not turning her head.

She moved toward Mjolnir, gliding her hand over the metal, then up to the handle. She held her breath, gripping it tight.

“Darcy!”

“I’m going! Jesus Christ,” Darcy yelled back, laughing a little.

Her heart was racing. She closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. She pulled, and there was the gentle _thunk_ of the metal rocking against the wood of the table.

“DARCY!” Jane yelled again, and Darcy let go of the handle.

“Alright, alright! Keep your clothes on for ten more seconds!” she yelled back, and she stepped back, practically running out of the kitchen.

She must have imagined it. She was sleep-deprived. She shut the front floor behind her and walked straight to the elevator, pressing the call button.

-

Darcy went back to Brooklyn with Lil’ Cap under her arm, wearing her ramen noodles wig under her beanie. She was checking her phone constantly for updates, until she could no longer keep her eyes open.

She collapsed on the couch, and she was glad she hadn’t gone to Steve’s bed. She didn’t think waking up in a big bed all by herself would be fun. She checked her phone a few hours into her stay to see Jane had called in sick.

Darcy decided to do the same, opting to work from home. She took out her laptop and proofread some research papers in between watching _Die Hard_ and baking sugar cookies.

She had to double-check that Thor had in fact come back to Earth, as she’d half convinced herself that everything from last night was some confusing, insane dream.

The Mjolnir thing was pushed to the back of her mind, that particular anecdote far too ludicrous to ever be repeated.

She cycled through intel, seeing some of the SHIELD squadron had been able to eliminate a couple of the suspected Croatian hideouts. Darcy hoped this wasn’t some type of trap. Most likely it was, but she had to trust that Steve would keep his promise.

She sent Jane several messages, only to receive some blunt replies in return.

_Fuck HYDRA for ruining my reunion. Thor left soon after you._

Darcy should have expected Thor to do that. What alarmed her was the lack of reply when she tried reaching any one of the Avengers or SHIELD’s squadron.

“JARVIS, can you give me anything?” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

_“There was an explosion recorded by a tourist in a neighboring village.”_

“You’re killing me buddy,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut. “Are you working on dismantling the telecommunication blockade?”

_“Constantly, ma’am.”_

“No need to be sassy.”

_“I’ve only learned from the best.”_

Darcy bit her fingernails as she sat with her knees drawn up, staring at the TV without taking it in. She retrieved the sugar cookies when they were done, picking up Lil’ Cap to hug against her chest, closing her eyes.

She had no idea how long she waited, but _Die Hard_ was over and she could see it had gone dark outside. She checked her phone, seeing a couple missed calls from an unknown number.

“JARVIS?”

_“You fell asleep, ma’am. I can assure you that the Avengers are safe.”_

“Natasha?”

_“Agent Romanoff and the others are on their way back. ETA four hours.”_

She felt the tears slide down her cheeks and she sniffled, wiping her eyes. She put Lil’ Cap down and called back the unknown numbers.

“Lewis! Sleeping at the wheel?”

“Tony! Fuck, I’m so glad to hear your stupid voice,” she said, laughing. She sniffed. “Where are you? Where’s Steve? Nat’s okay? Any –?”

“Slow down, slow down,” she heard Tony reply with a chuckle. “We’re okay. All of us. Not so much the bad guys, but, hey… they tried to hold Natasha Romanoff…”

She got up from the couch, feeling she was hungry. She walked into the kitchen and picked up one of the cookies, shoving it into her mouth.

“She did the most damage,” Tony said. “They were screwed the second Thor arrived, though. You know he’s on Earth, right?”

“Yeah, he stopped by the Tower. But everyone’s okay?”

“Yes, Lewis. Everybody lives.”

“Fuck, everybody lives,” she whispered, closing her eyes for a second. “Tony, can I –?”

“Way ahead of you,” he said. “Loverboy is barely keeping still, jonesing me for the phone –”

Darcy could hear a grumpy retort that had to be Steve and she smiled, feeling fresh tears well in her eyes.

“Hey.”

“Hey!” she said, her voice wobbling. “It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“You, too, sweetheart,” he replied, and she wanted to hold him so badly that she closed her eyes again to picture it, to try and remember the scent of his skin. “We’re headin’ back. You rugged up?”

“I’m on the couch. I fell asleep before.”

“What day is it?”

“Christmas Eve,” Darcy said, rubbing her eyes. “It’s after 5.”

“Right. So I might make it in time to wake up with you on Christmas mornin’…”

“Yeah,” Darcy breathed, and she knew she looked like a dope, smiling to herself.

“I should go, let you get somethin’ to eat. I’ll have to make a statement when we get back, and then I’ll be Brooklyn-bound, okay? Sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” she said again, biting her lip. “God, I love you so much, you fucking grandpa.”

“Yeah, how old am I?”

“You’re so old your social security number is 1.”

He let out a chuckle and she felt her stomach flip, wishing he was there already for her to reach out and touch.

When she hung up, she raced around the apartment to pull on her boots and wig before dashing out into the thick snow to trek to the nearest convenience store. She remembered she’d used up the rest of the milk for the sugar cookies she made earlier. She couldn’t keep the bounce out of her step as she trudged through the snow, pieces of someone else’s hair whipping in her face as she pushed her beanie down to keep everything on.

The convenience store clerk was an older fella who was playing Christmas music through his radio at the front of the store. He watched her come in, holding up a hand to wave as Darcy stalked between the aisles.

She’d forgotten a bag and cursed under her breath.

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” she called back, considering a carton of egg nog. “Stupidly forgot to bring a bag!”

“I’ve got boxes out back, you want one of those to carry?”

Darcy glanced at him, seeing him walking over to her, a slight limp in his left leg. She tried to not openly stare.

“You’d do that for me?”

“Well, yeah,” he said with a little chuckle. “I don’t need ‘em…”

She watched him go out back and return with a box that used to house Hershey’s kisses, which prompted Darcy to grab a couple bags from the candy aisle. She packed treats and some bread and milk along with it, and a big bag of coffee grounds.

“You all set?” he asked, when she came back to the counter. She plonked everything down, smiling.

“Yep! You here much longer?”

“Closin’ in about half an hour. You alone tonight?”

“I thought I might be,” Darcy said, shrugging a shoulder. She touched her wig again self-consciously. “Luckily someone called me back, so…”

“Good,” he said. “He’s a lucky bastard, whoever he is…”

Darcy paused, meeting his eye. He was being genuine and she let out a short laugh.

“He used to be alone.”

“I think I know who you mean,” the clerk said, giving a wink. Darcy blinked at him. “Blond? Sinatra eyes? Built like a brick shithouse?”

Darcy snorted, ducking her head. “Yeah, that’s him…”

“Tell him Joey says ‘I told you so’, and I’ll see him in a couple days,” Joey said, and Darcy smiled again. “Merry Christmas.”

Darcy grabbed the box again, throwing down more than enough to cover the food.

“It is! Merry Christmas, Joey!”

She walked out of there with a smile glued to her face, her breath in front of her, the wind cutting her to the bone, but she was happy.

-

Darcy returned back to Steve’s place, still getting a little thrill when she punched in her birthday to disable the alarm. She had no idea how long that had been a thing – but she suspected it had been for many months. One day she might not roll her eyes at herself for how dense she was about Steve… hopefully. Sharon Carter being a red herring was also something she still needed time to wrap her head around.

She put everything away while she hummed along to the Christmas tunes she put on through the TV. She told JARVIS to alert her the second the Avengers had returned to US soil, and the AI didn’t disappoint.

Her phone began to vibrate and she unlocked it, placing it against her ear as she opened up her laptop, clicking through to the intel feed.

A picture of her mother and her new boyfriend popped up on her phone and Darcy smiled down at it, sending back a reply of congratulations. Rosie was sipping margaritas on the beach after a massive night-time barbeque.

“JARVIS, gimme a feed, something –”

_“Direct your eyes to the screen in front of you, ma’am –”_

“Come on, man. I’m on your side.”

_“I’m well aware, Miss Lewis…”_

She let out a little sigh, shaking her head with a smile on her face, a shot of the press conference just outside the Tower popping up. She could see Steve walking in to take a seat. He’d failed to mention his split lip and torn uniform. Darcy couldn’t deny how adorable he looked, all busted up like that. He looked like he was not in the mood to talk, however.

_“Captain! Christmas came early?”_

_“Luckily, we managed to extract the hostages without any civilian casualties,”_ he replied. He gave a little nod. _“But, yes, it’s a safe and happy Christmas for all SHIELD and Avengers personel involved. Yes, Mrs. Kogen?”_

He pointed to the Angelica Kogen, whom Darcy had missed sitting in the front row of the press. She’d been too focused on Steve. Angelica Kogen stood up, smiling at Steve with that perfect set of chompers.

_“A bit of a PR nightmare, this whole situation. We heard that an agent was overseas on a secret mission despite her commander’s request that she take a vacation –”_

_“Yes, and she was one of the hostages,”_ Steve cut in. He pushed back his untidy hair with his gloved hand, never breaking eye contact with Kogen. _“It’s been tough for everyone involved.”_

_“Including your new liaison, Darcy Lewis? Seems like she’d rather be posting on Instagram than helping out. Was she ever planning to front the press?”_

_“On Christmas Eve, when she’s been up all hours already, trying to make sure she knew where we were? It was her idea, choosing those particular targets in Croatia,”_ Steve retorted.

“No, baby,” Darcy murmured. “Let it go…”

She knew he wouldn’t. He never would. He stared Kogen down, the blonde woman beginning to smile again, pleased with how she affected him.

 _“She’s been through a lot, just in the space of a few weeks_ ,” Steve went on, working his jaw. He glanced at all the press before his eyes returned to Kogen. _“You’ve all got an opinion. I’ve heard it. She’s heard it more.”_

 _“It’s our jobs,”_ Kogen replied. _“To report. To give our opinions. It’s a free country.”_

 _“Yes, you’re right,”_ Steve said. His stare was deadly. _“But it doesn’t mean you’re entitled to offending others. For offending her. She’s done nothing wrong.”_

_“She knew what she was signing up for –”_

_“Yes, but you and everyone else has said whatever you’ve wanted, no matter what it cost, because it cost you all **nothing** ,”_ Steve snapped. _“And it cost her **everything**.”_

Darcy stared, feeling her stomach drop. He’d more than defended her in front of the world. The feed had gone so quiet Darcy thought maybe it had frozen, but then Steve stood up, nodding to the rest of the crowd that gathered outside the Tower.

_“Merry Christmas.”_

He left without another word, though people still yelled questions after him. Darcy quickly turned off her social media notifications, anticipating a tidal wave of comments.

Darcy turned the feed over to CNN, seeing an anchor already reporting on what had just transpired:

_“Captain America says shame on you to Fox News’ Angelica Kogen. This comes just hours after he and a team of Avengers and SHIELD agents liberated hostages in Croatia. Emily?”_

_“Yes, Kim, I am reporting from what is known locally as the Tower in Manhattan – Captain America is nowhere to be found. Most likely, he’s turned in for the rest of the night. Christmas is only two and a half hours away...”_

The next half an hour felt like a lifetime. She kept checking her phone, in case some other tragedy had occurred. She saw a message from Natasha, wishing her well. She saw Bruce had also decided to check in with her officially, telling her he planned to return to New York the day after Christmas. Everything seemed to be happening at once, but all she wanted was –

There was the rattling of keys and Darcy pushed her laptop away, scrambling to her feet, running over to the front door to see Steve standing there, wearing the ZZ Top beard with matching moustache and hat.

“Hey.”

“Oh, my God,” she gasped, and she jumped, Steve giving a surprised little chuckle as he caught her.

She was crying already, so overwhelmed. He was safe. He was home. And she was there with him.

“Why are you cryin’?” he murmured, but his own eyes had gone glassy.

“You look so ugly in your stupid wig,” she sobbed, and he began to laugh.

“What about you? Miss Carmen?”

Darcy swiped at her running nose, making a face. “Carmen?”

“Carmen rhymes with ramen,” he replied, and she hugged him as tight as she could, not before throwing the wig off her own head that she’d forgotten about.

She was carried down the hallway, kissing the side of his face above the fake beard.

“You’re so stupid…”

She landed on the bed, Steve stepping back to pull off the wig and moustache and hat, then he tugged off his coat and suit underneath. Darcy was faster, and by the time they were both naked she was buzzing with arousal, desperate to be touched and to touch him in return.

She lay down, Steve climbing on top of her, his broad arms framing her head as he hovered over her, brushing his nose with hers.

“Steve,” she breathed, and he nodded, slanting his mouth over hers in a searing kiss that ignited the fire in her belly.

They both moaned, Darcy’s hand going between them to stroke the hard length of him. He moved back to cup her face, his other hand hitching her thigh over his hip.

“Missionary?” she whispered, and but his face stayed serious. “Little vanilla. Showing your age maybe, too…”

“Wanna look at you,” he whispered, and she dropped the act, nodding.

She wanted that, too. So badly she whimpered when he brushed the tip of him over the folds of her cunt, her breath hitching when he began to push inside. She went completely still, holding her breath as he filled her slowly, deliberately, never looking away, even when he was overcome by the sensation of her all around him.

“Steve –”

“God, Darcy, I can’t stand it,” he whispered, and she shivered, his hips grinding, her clit rubbing against him.

He pulled back almost all the way out before slamming into her and she moaned, her nails digging into his back.

“You’re not leavin’ this bed,” he said, and she pressed her mouth to his neck, sucking at his skin. “You’re not leavin’ this bed until…”

He trailed off, moaning, his thrusts going deeper and faster.

They tussled together, rolling and kissing, hips rocking, mouths missing one another. Darcy felt herself become sticky with sweat and arousal, everything building and building… She didn’t want it to end, but she wanted it so badly, that sweet release she knew he could give her.

“Come for me,” he whispered, head moving back to look her in the eye.

He’d never said it before, never asked her so explicitly, but she seemed to bring it out of him. She didn’t think it was what he meant to say earlier before his sentence got away from him.

“I’m so close,” she breathed, and she moved his hand between them, pressing his fingertips to her clit, circling it precisely how she needed it.

She tightened around him, making his eyes flash with heat, and she felt it, her whole body beginning to shake with the effort.

When she came, she lost her vision, feeling Steve still rock, pressing a messy kiss to her lips as the world faded away. She returned a couple seconds later, fresh sweat on her skin, panting into his mouth as he rutted.

“I’m gonna –” he gasped.

“You can, you can,” she whispered, nodding. Her throat felt thick. “You _can_ …”

“I love you,” he breathed, and he caught her in another kiss, pushing as far into her as he could, his whole body taut.

He panted, coming with a groan, and Darcy was laughing by the end of it, blinking back tears.

Darcy woke later, her face buried in Steve’s chest, and she sat up to look down at him. She brushed her thumb over the cut on his lip, seeing it was almost gone. His eyes dipped to her bare chest and she smirked.

“What,” he said, and she pulled him into a kiss, slow and gentler than before.

She moved back, leaning on her elbow.

“I want to get up,” she whispered, and he traced her shoulder with his fingers, brushing her long hair off her skin. “But there was a threat before. I wasn’t allowed to leave.”

“You’re my prisoner,” he whispered, and she gave a slow grin. “But I’ll allow it.”

“I wanna dance,” she said.

She climbed over him, walking over to the door to grab a robe from the hook, wrapping it around her. It was definitely too big but it was fluffy and smelled of Steve, and she walked out down the hallway to the living room. Frank Sinatra was playing through the TV.

_Oh the weather outside is frightful_

_But the fire is so delightful_

_And since we've no place to go_

_Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow_

Darcy moved to the space between the couch and the TV, looking at the Christmas lights as she began to turn in a small circle. She felt Steve’s hands on her lower back, wrapping around her middle as he pressed a kiss to her neck.

“I’ll step on your toes,” he whispered, and she chuckled.

“It’ll be worth it,” she retorted. She turned around, her arms reaching to wrap around his neck. “Unless you’re afraid you won’t be able to keep up, Grandpa?”

He smirked. “Speakin’ of old, I got somethin’ for ya…”

“You already gave it to me before,” she said, and he laughed again, moving away toward the Christmas tree, crouching to retrieve a present. “Steve, I said no presents.”

“Yeah, well you’re not the boss of me, sweetheart, alright?” he retorted, standing up with a little box in his hand, moving back toward her. “Just one present tonight.”

“Steve…”

“Come on,” he said, and she let out a little sigh, beginning to unfurl the red cellophane.

The box inside was perfectly ordinary, cardboard and nondescript, its edges worn with age. She opened it, her eyes widening. The little metal tags that shone back at her in the flashing light of the Christmas tree read:

STEVEN G. ROGERS

“Steve.”

“I’m givin’ them to you because I might lose them in my old age,” he whispered.

Darcy took them out of the box, staring down at them in her palm. She met his eye, her eyes stinging.

“You’re so old. I love you,” she whispered, and the tears began to spill over. “Jesus, you’re so fucking old…”

She kissed him then, hoping she’d bruise, hoping she’d leave some kind of mark for her own eyes to see. When she pulled away, she was panting, Steve’s own eyes shining.

“I’ll put on our song,” he whispered, and she nodded.

He moved away from her to pick up her phone from the coffee table, changing the track. He moved back to her, looking down at the dog tags she still held in her open palm.

He picked them up, placing the necklace over her head, pulling it down, feeding her hair out from under the ball and chain. Darcy looked down at them, still teary-eyed.

_The snow is snowing and the wind is blowing_

_But I can weather the storm!_

_What do I care how much it may storm?_

_For I've got my love to keep me warm_

His hands reached for her waist, and she tilted her head to meet his, as Steve began to lead them in a slow circle.

“You’re so old,” she whispered, and Steve leaned down, brushing her nose with his.

“How old am I?”

“You remember the dinosaurs,” she retorted, and he chuckled.

“That I do,” he said, “And I love you.”

Darcy kept her eyes on his, moving in their little circle, the music playing on. He mirrored her smile.

She whispered, “Stupid o’clock time…”

“Would’ve thought it was always stupid o’clock with me,” he whispered back.

He was only wearing his boxer briefs, after all. Darcy snickered.

“You saying you’re down to clown?”

Steve laughed. “I got one better. Hey sugar, you rationed?”

“Oh, I love that,” she whispered, kissing him on the lips. “Dirty old man…”

They didn’t make it back to bed. They ended up on the floor, and afterward, Steve cuddled her close, keeping her so warm while the snow fell outside.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms, Steve’s hand resting on the tags that lay on Darcy’s chest, their legs tangled together, his lips pressed to her temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have a safe and happy New Year. Thank you for reading this and indulging all my tropey, silly stuff. I love you! ❤
> 
> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


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